‘The perspective that indigenous people have is so valuable toward solving the problems of the future.’

Riverhead

“I’m very proud to be Shinnecock. My mom studied American history at Dartmouth and my mom is involved in my education. She would review all of my curricula, and if there was something that she disagreed with, she was an advocate for me in the classroom. The New York State curriculum has no requirements that students are taught about indigenous people, specifically Algonquin people who are the people that inhabited this island. I come from a family that has a lot of educators. I was raised to work really hard to educate people. It’s something that I’m happy to do — to share my culture, history, thoughts and perspectives.

That’s why diversity is so important because sometimes it just takes a different perspective to look at problems to get to new and better solutions.

“It’s interesting because of how I was raised in my culture; I really do have a different way of thinking about things. I noticed it a lot in law school. I went to law school in Michigan, and so my classmates were, for the most part, very wealthy, white, Midwestern people. I think only like 2 percent of attorneys are Native attorneys. And so, when the professors would pose questions to us, they would get so quiet and were fascinated by my perspective. And their comments were like, ‘This is something that we would have never thought of,’ or ‘We would never look at the problem like this.’ That’s why diversity is so important because sometimes it just takes a different perspective to look at problems to get to new and better solutions. In law school, I was able to learn about tribal sovereignty. I specifically studied indigenous law and policy, not only at my law school, but I did an Indian law summer program. It was a very small group of students with the world’s top experts.

“The perspective that indigenous people have is so valuable toward solving the problems of the future. It’s just something that’s passed down through us from our elders. But it’s a lifelong thing. When we’re young, our elders look for whatever is special in us and then help, train, guide us and put us on the path toward being able to have an impact in the world. And that’s something that I think is different than the outside culture. We’re given these roles at a really young age but also given the tools to be successful. And that’s something that I’m just grateful for.”

Interviewed by Jay Max

‘I’ll start by saying that I grew up knowing very specifically that I didn’t want to be a rabbi.’

East Hampton

“I’ll start by saying that I grew up knowing very specifically that I didn’t want to be a rabbi. And the reason I had that question posed in my head is because my father’s a rabbi and every single person who I met growing up asked me, ‘Do you want to be a rabbi just like your father?’ And the answer that I had formed in my head was a very concrete, ‘No.’ I always had a strong Jewish identity. I went to Jewish summer camp, went to religious school…but I just knew it wasn’t my path.

“When I got to college, things changed. It was a period of self-discovery. On a whim, I took an intro to Hebrew Bible class. I thought it was an ‘easy A’ because I know all these stories! It turned out not just to be more challenging than I thought, but also very revelatory. It made me think about sacred Jewish text in a way that was deep, meaningful and beyond the surface.

The question became eventually, what do you want to do with your life? I realized that it had something to do with creating a Judaism that was different than what I grew up with — something that would engage the future generations.

“And that was kind of the hook. I didn’t want to become a rabbi just because of that one class, but I did want to take another class. And so eventually I found myself teaching at a religious school nearby my university, studied abroad in Israel, and found an affinity to Judaism in a way that I never really felt before. The question became eventually, what do you want to do with your life? I realized that it had something to do with creating a Judaism that was different than what I grew up with — something that would engage the future generations. The one thing that’s very consistent about Judaism is that it constantly changes from each generation to the next, and that’s partly what’s kept our tradition alive for thousands of years. It’s the ability to adapt, to be creative. And so, although I’m a rabbi like my father in that we share the same profession, I’m very much a rabbi unlike my father. And he’s proud of that.

“When you become a rabbi, one of the traditions is that the president of the college ordains you. But when one of your parents is a rabbi, they also take part in that ordination. My father met me in front of the arch and offered me blessings as I was literally becoming a rabbi. That was one of the more special moments I’ve had with him, where his role as a rabbi is directly associated with who I am today.”

‘I have a newfound respect for servicemen because we don’t know half the stuff they do and how dangerous it is.’

Smithtown

“My husband and I grew up modestly and we didn’t have anything handed to us. We felt like our son Andrew had to learn the value of a dollar. We told him he had to pay for college, so he went and got an ROTC scholarship. That meant the Navy paid for school, but he owed them four years of his life. He ended up being a pilot, so he owed them eight years of his life. That’s how he ended up in Mali. He was a pilot stationed in Jacksonville when the U.N. came in asking for volunteers. They needed a pilot to help them out. He volunteered. Mali does not have the best social and economic areas, and it is dangerous. He even needed a guide to help him find drinkable water.

“It wasn’t until I went to the 2017 JINSA Grateful Nation Award ceremony that I understood the danger he was in. The award is given for heroism and is presented annually to six young heroes recognized for having distinguished themselves through superior conduct in the war on terrorism. Honorees are chosen by their selective service and represent each of the five branches of the military. Everyone at the awards dinner was white, so I was proud of my son and proud to see someone Asian American get accolades for doing something really important and selfless. It took place in Washington, D.C., and it was very impressive and intimidating.

He makes me want to do my job better than I do. We all make mistakes, and every time I make one, I try to emulate him and think about how he does something.

“I have a newfound respect for servicemen because we don’t know half the stuff they do and how dangerous it is. If I had known more about what my son was doing, I probably wouldn’t have been able to sleep every night. Ever since he was 6, he loved flying. He memorized every plane. He is like a dog with a bone. When he likes something, he studies it. The funny thing is, after he learned to fly and was really good at it, he didn’t want to do it anymore.

“When he was leaving the Navy, he could have gotten a really good job flying, but he wanted to go back to school and become a businessperson. He just earned his MBA at Columbia and is working more than 100 hours each week, but he actually likes it. He makes me want to do my job better than I do. We all make mistakes, and every time I make one, I try to emulate him and think about how he does something.”

‘People suffer in silence when there is a medical crisis. I realized I can do something for people.’

Massapequa

“My son was born with Cavernous Transformation of the Portal Vein (CTPV). Oxygen wasn’t getting to Gary’s liver, so a part of it died. Because of this his spleen is enlarged, so it can rupture easily. Even though he was born with CTPV, his first episode occurred at age 7. It was a matter of life or death getting him to the hospital once he started showing symptoms, which was up to four times each year. It was a long stay every time. At age 11, Gary went to the movies with his friend and his father. He was eating popcorn, unaware it shouldn’t be eaten because it’s a rough food. It was ripping varices as it was going down his esophagus. He felt nauseous as he went to the bathroom, and ended up collapsing in the hallway with buckets of blood pouring from his mouth. He staggered back to his friend.

“As they left the theater, Gary heard the ushers asking, ‘Did somebody get stabbed?’ He was later taken to the hospital, where, in the first week alone, he had 12 blood transfusions. He was put in a medically induced coma so that he wouldn’t asphyxiate. He was there the entire month. I never left his side. I would hear other parents at the hospital saying, ‘I don’t know how I’m going to pay my bills.’ I was worrying about the same thing. People suffer in silence when there is a medical crisis. I realized I can do something for people. Gary, my daughter-in-law, and I formed Battle Hardened Foundation (thehardbattle.org) to help relieve that financial burden on other families.

To look at him you would be unaware there is anything wrong. We have become more compassionate toward others because we realize you just don’t know their stories.

“Gary once said, ‘Mom, I’m so battle hardened, I could do anything and take any type of needle.’ The foundation was named for survivors who are hardened from their experiences. I’d like to see families not have to worry about their finances so they can concentrate on getting better or staying with their family members and helping them get better. Nobody should have to worry about working to pay rent but not wanting to leave their family member’s side. Gary is 30 now, and this is the first 10 years that he hasn’t had any symptoms from CTPV. To look at him you would be unaware there is anything wrong. We have become more compassionate toward others because we realize you just don’t know their stories.”

‘Just remember that you know your body best. You know when you’re not feeling well and when things are off.’

Merrick

“I have mast cell disease, a rare hematological/immunological disease. I had a stem cell transplant in July 2015, using my stem cells. It wipes out your immune system and tries to restart it. Sometimes that works for some diseases. In my case, it didn’t.

“Then I had another transplant in June 2018 from an unrelated anonymous donor. I know he’s male; he’s 35 and from the United States, but that’s all I’m allowed to know. To this day, I refer to him as ‘Mr. Anonymous’ donor. I hope sometime in the future we’ll have an opportunity to meet.

“It started in my 20s. I was having severe reactions and going into anaphylaxis, facial swelling and needed ER visits. I became gravely ill in 2006. It felt I was sleeping on rocks, and my muscles were always in pain. I got weaker, and I lost weight and muscle mass. My hair fell out in chunks and nobody knew what was wrong with me.

“They diagnosed me with a lot of more typical autoimmune diseases – lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, mixed connective tissue disease, chronic fatigue syndrome. My husband found a glaring correlation between my bloodwork and mast cell disease. He found a doctor who’s a world expert. She diagnosed me in like an hour. It was on April 1, 2011, and I said, ‘This isn’t a joke, is it?’

I’m 2 ½ years post-transplant and I’m still on a ton of medications daily; I have to go for treatments to prevent pneumonia. It’s still a challenge.

“She put me on a pretty intensive treatment plan right away and we started to see significant turnaround but not completely. I had a ton of complications after the second transplant. I was in the hospital more than I was home. I developed graft-versus-host disease, so I started rejecting my donor cells and had a reactivation of Epstein-Barr. I had two bouts of pneumonia, I was pretty sick.

“I’m 2 ½ years post-transplant and I’m still on a ton of medications daily; I have to go for treatments to prevent pneumonia. It’s still a challenge.

“Just remember that you know your body best. You know when you’re not feeling well and when things are off. Go with your gut and keep researching. If one door closes, open another.

“My daughter, Samantha, is musically talented, so we created nine songs to tell this story and there’s a new documentary based on that, talking about the power of music. It’s called Second Chance and it’s screening in film festivals all over the world.”

‘I got divorced, and I knew I had to get into this industry so I could help people never go through what I had to go through with someone narcissistic.’

Levittown

“After college, I was first a pharmaceutical rep. We learned about the human brain and narcissism. I was married at that time, with two young children. My mother had just died, and I came home that night, and I was praying, saying, ‘Mom, I know you didn’t believe in divorce, but my husband is narcissistic.’

“Then this dating service opened on Long Island. Once I saw it, it was like a sign from my mother in heaven. I got divorced, and I knew I had to get into this industry so I could help people never go through what I had to go through with someone narcissistic.

“Fifteen years ago, I opened up my own matchmaking services, and we’ve been growing strong ever since. Being positive is the most important key to success in finding love. I can’t teach that. I cannot make a negative person successful and I can’t make them positive. If that person is positive, I can work around any other nitty-gritty things to help them improve.

It means everything to me that Long Island singles entrust the most important thing in their lives to me. I truly fell in love with finding love for people. If you have love, you have everything.

“The best part is when they tell me they’re getting married. I have over 1,000 success stories. This one particular couple two years ago was always our favorite and they asked me if I would officiate their wedding. It means everything to me that Long Island singles entrust the most important thing in their lives to me. I truly fell in love with finding love for people. If you have love, you have everything.

“I’m seeing the greatest single men all the time. Many times, they’ll ask me if I’m single, but I’ll say I’m not ready yet. My life has always been my two children and my business. I never tried to be great at 10 different things, or even three different things. On my tombstone, I want it to say: great mother, great matchmaker. That’s all I want to be great at.”

‘Sometimes the person you’re meant to be with is right in front of you, and you won’t realize it until you’re 27 years old.’

Massapequa

“Joe and I met in our first-grade classroom, room 108 at Albany Avenue School in Farmingdale School District. I remember telling him I had a secret to tell him and went to give him a kiss on the cheek. He was my best friend in elementary, middle and high school. He went to Hofstra and I went to Johnson & Wales in Miami, and we still stayed in touch.

“It was only three years ago when we finally had our first date at the Massapequa Diner. We said it was either the end of our friendship or the rest of our lives. We knew that there would be no middle ground. In October 2019, Joe proposed in front of our first-grade classroom. He and his sister made up this crazy, elaborate story. She is a music teacher, so he told me she was conducting a concert at Albany Avenue. We were passing our classroom and I said, ‘Oh my god, we have to take a picture.’ We were alone in the room. As I was trying to find my phone, I turned around and he was on one knee. I was completely speechless.

It was only three years ago when we finally had our first date at the Massapequa Diner. We said it was either the end of our friendship or the rest of our lives.

“After I said yes, one of the custodians came out of the classroom next to us and was like, ‘That was so great, you guys. That was so beautiful!’ Everyone we spoke to said they knew it would happen; they were just waiting until we were ready.

“Our wedding Save the Date photo was from his seventh birthday party. He was always the nicest person. There’s not a nasty, negative bone in his body. Now, Joe is a sports editor. I went from being the head pastry chef at The Carltun and running the bakery at Whole Foods to the culinary instructor at Nassau BOCES’ Joseph M. Barry Career and Technical Center- their first female chef in 50-plus years! The female students at the school would say, ‘Why are there no female teachers here?’ I thought that it was important that all students understand there’s a place for everyone in this industry. That goes for both genders, as well as special needs students.

“The food industry is for everybody. My students think our story is hilarious. I say, ‘I’ll tell you from experience: Sometimes the person you’re meant to be with is right in front of you, and you won’t realize it until you’re 27 years old.’ Even though it is a cliché to say it, I really did marry my best friend.”

‘When I was incarcerated, I was shocked to see that I was surrounded by Black and brown women who had survived tremendous trauma similar to what I had survived.’

Kings Park

“I was incarcerated at 19 due to a family member’s mental health crisis, a serious family violence tragedy. Before that, I was this college student with a very sheltered upbringing in a Christian home.

“When I was incarcerated, I was shocked to see that I was surrounded by Black and brown women who had survived tremendous trauma similar to what I had survived.

“I came home from prison and worked in the city as a policy director for the nonprofit Correctional Association of NY. During that time, I realized there was a whole population of women who had been voiceless for many years. After having my son, it was really clear that Long Island was a desert for folks to take social justice seriously.

“So, six years ago, we founded New Hour for Women and Children. We empower women, children and families impacted by the criminal justice system. We provide workshops, a leadership and advocacy training program, and parenting programming in the Nassau and Suffolk jails for women.

If you can stabilize a woman with housing and help her see herself as more than just her crime, it becomes this huge ability to create change.

“We actively engage women in advocating for laws that create equity and fairness for women who have been incarcerated. Thinking about my time in jail, I thought, ‘It was 15 years later, and if I could do something for those women in that jail now, maybe that’s what I’m supposed to do.’

“A major issue when women get out is housing. Pretty much every week I speak to a woman who’s in tears and doesn’t have enough money for rent. We’re fundraising for a house where 4-6 women can live together at the beginning of their re-entry, repair relationships, get enough money for housing and come up with a plan. These women are set up for failure because there’s no clear re-entry path. A lot of these women can’t drive. There are all these barriers.

“Three-quarters of our women are moms, and the goal is to get these kids back to their mothers. The other major piece of that is a woman’s self-esteem and self-worth. If you can stabilize a woman with housing and help her see herself as more than just her crime, it becomes this huge ability to create change.”

Interviewed by Liza Burby

‘I came into quarantine as the kid who was Evan Hansen, and I will be leaving it as me and my own creator of silly things.’

Hewlett Neck

“l left ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ on Broadway having no idea what was ahead of us with the pandemic. At the beginning of it all, I did this thing with my friend, Alex, called Broadway Jackbox. I invited friends who I had made it on Broadway the year before to play party video games on the internet. The next day I woke up to a bunch of texts from Alex saying that we were going to do it every week and raise money for The Actors Fund. We became business partners in that crucial moment in both of our lives and we ended up raising six figures, which is completely crazy. We’re still working on that.

“I took a gap year before going to Harvard, and had I gone, this wouldn’t have happened. It’s amazing to think about because, during this pandemic, I’ve gotten to do so many amazing things. It was the best decision I could have made for myself. We also started Broadway Whodunnit, where we do murder mysteries with Broadway people online. That has been the greatest joy and provided the silliest, most fun days of my quarantine.

“So many blessings in disguise have come from the horribleness of this past year. Another fun moment was being featured in the ‘Ratatouille’ musical benefit. My friend had written the song ‘Anyone Can Cook’ and asked me to do a TikTok. I almost didn’t do it because I was busy. If I had said ‘no,’ I don’t think I would have gotten to play Linguini in this huge thing that raised $1.9 million for The Actors Fund. I think I know myself a million times better having gone through this experience. I’m a very extroverted person and a social being. Now, I know what I do when I don’t have that.

“I even started The Party Line, which was this thing where my friends and I would go on Zoom and talk every single night for hours. We did it for six months. I so desperately needed communication. I am thankful for the friendships I made and grew even though we couldn’t physically be together.

“What has been the most amazing gift in terms of my presence in the world is that I came into quarantine as the kid who was Evan Hansen, and I will be leaving it as me and my own creator of silly things. That’s really what I wanted to be doing. It has sort of shifted my whole life timeline.”

‘Right now, there is no limit to the amount of content we can and should create. Everyone needs to distract themselves.’

“My biggest dream was to be on Broadway, and then I did it much earlier than I ever imagined with ‘Dear Evan Hansen.’ The past few years have forced me to face my anxieties and insecurities. That was never a huge thing for me until I was on Broadway. It was my greatest dream come true, and also my worst nightmare because of the impostor syndrome of it.

“There was nothing negative about what the experience gave me, but I had a fear that I would screw up or that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. It was something I had never experienced before, and I realize now that I still deal with it a lot, especially as I produce and create works of art.

“Being my own creator was something that I thought I would do once I had built a career as an actor, but I didn’t think that would happen until really far down the line; the fact that I now get to perform and create things has been an amazing gift. I realized I can create things for myself, and I don’t have to rely on auditions to get jobs. That feels incredible when it happens, but I don’t have to be terrified about not having those opportunities because now I know that I can create those opportunities. It is so relieving.

“Right now, there is no limit to the amount of content we can and should create. Everyone needs to distract themselves. I’m not worried about what this will mean for my place in the industry because I think all bets are off at this moment. We’re working on a live benefit for Lawrence Woodmere Academy’s Barbra R. Feldman Performing Arts Center, named for my mother, who passed in 2019. We were supposed to do a big concert last year, but instead, we organized a virtual celebration with even more Broadway stars and friends. I had never worked so hard on anything. That celebration provided me with so much healing.

“We’re still planning on doing one in person. I’m also getting ready to attend Harvard in the fall; my concentration will be theater, dance and media. I love it because I can study every single facet of theater, which is really what I want — to do everything! I want to be able to grab as much of the college experience as humanly possible. I’m really excited for what’s coming.”

‘It doesn’t matter if you have special needs or not. Just give yourself a chance and see what you can do, and you can change the world’

Yaphank

“I started doing wildlife photography. I thought it would help with my anxiety and other developmental disabilities. I was a very shy, timid person. I always had a passion for wildlife, and I figured why don’t I just go out and maybe take pictures of some of them. My dad got me my first camera. I was about 29 years old. I don’t drive, so my mom takes me, and we both really enjoy it. It’s almost like therapy for us. All our problems go away when we go out into nature. I posted them and people were like, ‘Wow, she’s really good,’ so I started my own Facebook page. I got so many people that loved it. I didn’t know I had it in me. I have people that are really good photographers and they said, ‘I saw your picture on Facebook.’ They recognize me for who I am.

“This hobby that I have come to love has really helped me with patience. I mean, I could be out there for almost five hours looking for an eagle and my mom will say, ‘Let’s go, he’s not coming,’ and then 5 minutes later, as soon as we were about to leave, our eagle shows up! I entered a nationwide contest and was one of the four runners-up. The money that I received was donated to Angela’s House, for children that are medically fragile, and to The Exceptional Pageant, for adults and children that have special needs.

My confidence just grew and grew. I just think it’s amazing that they even have a pageant like this, because people with disabilities don’t really get a chance to do things like this.

“The Exceptional Pageant started for me around six years ago. I was on Facebook and met this mother whose daughter also has developmental disabilities and she said, ‘Why don’t you enter the pageant? Everyone wins and you can display your photos.’ So, I did it. And the response was amazing. My confidence just grew and grew. I just think it’s amazing that they even have a pageant like this, because people with disabilities don’t really get a chance to do things like this.

“The staff in the back help you get all pretty and dolled up and make you feel special for the night. And everyone’s a winner. We have become a family almost, and it’s just really nice to see the kids that have disabilities and how their talents just explode. I want to tell the world that it doesn’t matter if you have special needs or not. Just give yourself a chance and see what you can do, and you can change the world.”