Faces of Long Island celebrates the uniqueness of everyday Long Islanders. In their own words, they tell us about their life experiences, challenges and triumphs. Newsday launched this social media journey into the human experience to shine a light on the diverse people of this wonderful place we call home.

‘I tried to get sober the first time when I was 27 years old. I actually turned 28 in the rehab I work at today.’

North Babylon

“I’m a substance abuse counselor. I’ve been doing this for 12 years. I’ve been clean from drugs and alcohol for over 13 years. The first time I remember using alcohol was just past my eighth birthday. My brother was having a Super Bowl party. He’s 14 years older. I would refill their drinks and start taking sips. It just progressed as I hit middle school. I never felt comfortable with myself, so I looked for something to make me feel better.

“Sixth-grade, I remember smoking pot. High school, I started getting mixed up with drugs. I tried to get sober the first time when I was 27 years old. I actually turned 28 in the rehab I work at today. I just didn’t fully grasp the whole lifestyle change that recovery involves. I didn’t realize that it wasn’t just removing the drugs and alcohol. The real problem is inside yourself. So, I relapsed again. I finally did long-term treatment, but I did it my way and failed miserably. I was desperate to find help. And then someone sat down, and they said in an aggressive way, ‘If your way worked, you wouldn’t be sitting where you are today. So shut up and listen to what we say, follow what we tell you to do, and you’ll stay clean.’ And that’s what I did.

Once I started giving back, that void I was trying to fill with drugs and alcohol, I started to fill by helping other people.

“Recovery’s about surrendering, following suggestions and listening. And as I started doing that, I realized that I had a lot more to offer people than I thought. I was always the person that brought the negativity to the party. I was always the person that did the bad things. Once I started giving back, that void I was trying to fill with drugs and alcohol, I started to fill by helping other people. I started to contribute to the good things in life. I find the same gratification when I help out kids with sports. I coach football and baseball. I like helping the kids and teaching them and seeing their faces when they’re first successful. And I get that same thing with my clients. I have people that call me years later and tell me that they’re still clean. They’re still sober and they have their kids and families back in their lives. And that’s probably the most rewarding part of it all — helping people the same way people helped me.”

‘We were very intentional about making sure we were aware of one another’s differences. We first and foremost really enjoyed them.’

Hicksville

“My husband, Raghu, and I were friends for many years before getting married. We met at a church in Queens. I would call him for good chai recipes because he was known for making it the best. He was a medical student, so I felt comfortable calling him and asking him questions. He was in my life for many years. Whenever we were on Facebook late at night, we would chat, and it was great. He was such a good friend.

“I was showing another friend around New York one day, and he asked me if I knew of a good Indian restaurant. I said, ‘I think I know just the person who would know!’ I called Raghu and he stopped what he was doing to escort us personally to a good restaurant. It was a really nice gesture. Friendship turned into something else. Raghu is South Indian; I am half-Italian, and a mix of Jamaican, French and Welsh. We were very intentional about making sure we were aware of one another’s differences. We first and foremost really liked them. We’re always having discussions about our differences, and it’s a constant understanding between us.

We enjoyed being able to share that we love our differences, but we know that our faith is what we have in common and that’s the glue.

“Early in our relationship we would get questioned because of our different ethnicities. ‘You’re so different, so how come you’re together?’ I don’t know if it was judgmental. People would find it hard to believe that I would enjoy his culture. ‘You’re American, so do you like Indian food?’ How do you get along with his family?’ They’re normal questions, but if you compare them to what you would ask two typical Americans dating, you get a different meaning behind them. I assume people mostly have nice intentions and I think curiosity is good. In response, we enjoyed being able to share that we love our differences, but we know that our faith is what we have in common and that’s the glue.

“We intentionally wanted everything at our wedding to be very authentic and 50/50. I wore two outfits, including a traditional South Indian silk sari. We did some of the traditional South Indian ceremonies and a Christian ceremony. We had South Indian food catered. It was very fun and really cool. In everything we’ve done, the goal was and is never to make those differences less, it’s really just to understand them better and enjoy them.”

‘I knew the only way I was going to survive and get out of that situation is if I pushed on to get my education and provide a life for my daughters.’

Brentwood

“I came from a family of educators, specifically teachers, principals and administrators. Because of that influence, the importance of education was instilled within me at a very young age.

“The turning point of my life occurred when I became a victim of domestic violence as a young woman. He was my high school sweetheart. I knew the only way I was going to survive and get out of that situation is if I pushed on to get my education and provide a life for my daughters. That was a defining moment.

“I went on despite the abuse to finish college. Being in that situation motivated me to persevere and to push on through education, no matter what adversity I was facing in my personal life.

I always believed you’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem. So, if you want change, you have to be that change. You have to find that change within yourself.

“Moving from Queens to Long Island, I became involved with a local youth program and held many hats. It led me into running for our local school board, along with the fact that I had an autistic son. This was all new to me and I had no clue how I was going to navigate through this new challenge. I knew I was going to have to be his biggest advocate to ensure he received the proper services to thrive like any other student.

“I always believed you’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem. So, if you want change, you have to be that change. You have to find that change within yourself. While my kids were getting ready for school, I would use that time to impart words of wisdom. I would just always have some kind of one-liner to give them about life and how to survive it.

“One day, I had a principal tell me, ‘You’d be great as a school board member,’ and another person said, ‘I wish I had a mother like you,’ and that resonated. I was approached by some individuals who were willing to support my campaign. I got my clock cleaned. But someone in the community said, ‘Run again and see what happens because this community needs someone like you.’ I ran again and won.

“The hopes and dreams I have for my children are the same ones I have for everyone’s child in the district. It started with my four children and I adopted another 19,000 children.”

‘I would be truly honored to teach someone how to paint.’

Sayville

“When I was a kid, I drew a lot in my spare time and my Mom took me to a community arts center in Sayville. It was a great place, and I had this teacher who was also a music teacher. She had a grand piano and while we drew, she would play classical music.

“Listening to classical music helped me stay motivated and focused and I still do that to this day. I went to Suffolk County Community College for studio art because I heard their art department was fantastic. I’ve met a bunch of amazing fellow artist students and I’ve been trained by a lot of great professors. My drawing teacher was one of the best professors I ever had. His life portraits were inspirational.

“I also had a painting professor and he’s the reason why I got into painting as well. During my first semester, I was much more of a drawer than a painter so as I went into the classes, it was a struggle.

“I was a big fan of Bob Ross and in high school, my parents surprised me with the type of easel that Bob Ross uses, and I’ve had it ever since. But I didn’t paint that much because I wasn’t that good. As I developed my skills in college, I was motivated to get more into painting.

When I draw something, I visualize the picture that I get my inspiration from and I study the details that I want to capture.

“When it comes to drawing, I draw cityscapes, like New York City because it’s my favorite city in the world and I do a lot of LIRR drawings because when I was a kid, I was really into model trains.

“When I draw something, I visualize the picture that I get my inspiration from and I study the details that I want to capture. It’s a struggle to sell them but I do have an Etsy account and I’ve sold a few pieces. I don’t let it get to me, I just give it some time and once it happens, I get super excited and much more motivated.

“I use a room in my Dad’s garage as a studio, and I hung a bunch of my paintings on the wall. It’s not easy being an artist, I wish I could do this full time. Right now, this is a hobby. Time, patience and practice help you achieve your goal.

“One of the students in my class said I should become a certified Bob Ross painting instructor. It’s a three-week training program. I think I will someday because I never stop thinking about it. I just have to give it time and prepare for it.

“I would be truly honored to teach someone how to paint.”

‘I felt my soul went into the wrong body. But now that it’s in harmony with the way that I think, it just makes more sense to me.’

Freeport

“One of the misconceptions about people who are transgender is that it’s a lifestyle choice. I laugh inside. A lifestyle choice is I’m going to move to Manhattan! This is not a choice. It’s not a psychological disorder. This is being authentic. It’s just who I am in the spectrum of all that is possible in being a human being. My brain thinks one way, my body is another, and I can change the body.

“At the age of three, I instinctively thought I was a girl. My mother one day just said, ‘You know, you gotta take that off. That’s not your dress. You’re a boy.’ When she told me that I wasn’t a girl, I said, ‘Well, when will I be a girl?’ She said, ‘You won’t.’ And that broke my heart.

“I quickly learned how to behave so that I was accepted. You learn how to do that throughout your entire life to the point where, when I finally said that I’m going to transition in my mid-forties, people said they were surprised. And I said, ‘Really? I’ve carried this with me my whole life.’ I did a great job of blending in and keeping it quiet—but it ate me up inside.

There are many things that you can do to shape the way a child behaves. You can’t shape them innately knowing who they are. A child knows who they are.

“When I was younger, I had no role models. This was the seventies. You wouldn’t go to the library and pick a book out on it. There was no internet. There wasn’t even the term transgender really, I just always knew I’m a girl trapped in a boy’s body. I tried to kill myself when I was 15. I didn’t know how to stifle who I was and how to continue that throughout my entire life. It’s only nowadays that we’re really listening to children when they tell us this. I wonder how many children that weren’t listened to many years ago are no longer here with us?

“I had wonderful parents. They didn’t recognize this any more than I did. As far as parents today, I can say this: There are many things that you can do to shape the way a child behaves. You can’t shape them innately knowing who they are. A child knows who they are. You’re not going to shape them away from that.

“I felt my soul went into the wrong body. But now that it’s in harmony with the way that I think, and the way that I feel about myself, it just makes more sense to me. I think what I would tell my younger self is that it gets better. You get to be you.

“Aunt Barbara was an explosion of everything that I kept inside of me my whole life. Aunt Barbara was a release of all that pain I carried with me. And I think getting rid of a lot of that pain allowed me to say, you know what, I’m going to transition. Transition is one of the hardest things you can do. It is physically, mentally, emotionally difficult to do. People have walked away from me in my life. People that I’ve loved have walked away. A wise friend once told me, ‘You will be too much for some people…those aren’t your people.’ And that’s how I get through my day.

“I’ve had instances where people have treated me not so nicely outside. The underlying dirty look, the look away, that sort of shunning. Then there’s the microaggressions where it’s like, ‘Here’s your change, sir.’ That happens to me. If you’re not tolerant of someone’s differences you don’t have an open forum to be aggressive because it’s something you don’t understand. But the minute I call people out on it in a very respectful, professional way, I have a huge fan base of people who come right to my side.

“When the pandemic hit, I started doing an online show every week. It’s anything and everything. I’ll do a Tupperware party one week. It’s a talk show. It’s movie reviews. It’s interactive. And people from all over the country are tuning in. I have a whole new following. And there are people that have met each other. There are people that are in relationships because they bonded over watching the show. People look forward to it and they accept me for who I am.

“They went through my transition with me. I came back from the hospital where I had reassignment surgery and I had gift baskets, pajamas, slippers, robes—you name it. This place was filled with flowers and goodies. A really supportive group. And they love Aunt Barbara for who Aunt Barbara is. Cause she’s a part of me.

“When I put the camera on and I go live, the first thing I see are their comments coming up in the feed, and what I see is, ‘Hello family!’ That’s the first thing. They all know each other. It’s getting more and more people, and they consider themselves the Aunt Barbara family.”

Interviewed by Jay Max

‘It changes you watching your own child die but also watching other families suffer from the disease of childhood cancer.’

Greenlawn

“Maggie didn’t want to be known as the girl with cancer. It’s odd she got struck by this. We wonder how and why all the time. She was 16 when she was diagnosed. She was a really healthy young girl. She never really got sick. She loved life; she was a go-getter. She was in the prime of what was to be a beautiful life. One day in August, she texted me saying she didn’t feel well. I took her to the hospital and as every hour passed, she would get paler. She was bleeding internally the entire afternoon into the evening. They thought it was a cyst that had hemorrhaged. But they missed the cancer on the slides. What they thought was a cyst on her ovary was a tumor. In October, she felt pain again in the same area. The ultrasound tech said they found a hematoma on the same ovary that had been operated on and that we had to have it drained. But it wasn’t a hematoma. The tumor burst again and Maggie almost bled to death for the second time. They had to do a major surgery and removed her right ovary and pieces of her colon. They didn’t tell us right then and there it was cancer, but they did tell us they saw a mass. They told us it was stage 4 small cell carcinoma of the ovaries and there was nothing they could do. We sought opinions from different hospitals and Memorial Sloan Kettering said they would take her and try chemo and surgery, followed by radiation. But she never made it that far. The chemo didn’t work. It was seven months from diagnosis to the time she died. There’s no telling if Maggie’s outcome would have been different if it would have been diagnosed in August, as opposed to October, but I’ll always wonder. Could she have been saved? There’s no easy way to say goodbye to your child. It was hard watching a beautiful teenager who had everything going for her waste away before our eyes and to be in as much pain as she was in. She knew about all the things I had done in my life: traveling, hang gliding, scuba diving. She knew about all that and the one haunting sentence she said to me before she died was, ‘Mom, it’s not fair you got to do so much in your life.’”

“We found the bucket list in a sketchbook after she died. Since she passed, family vacations were very different for us. We had routines and places we would go every year; those felt hollow without her. We decided to do a road trip in honor of her, to honor her bucket list. The Red Hot Chili Peppers were one of Maggie’s favorite bands and they were awesome to her. She met them while she was in treatment. Two of the band members were playing a concert in Big Sky, Montana, so that was our destination. We took Maggie’s ashes with us so we felt like she was with us. We found a lot of serendipitous things happened along the way. We felt like there were little signs from her. We happened across a town where the show “Northern Exposure” was filmed and there was a character from that show named Maggie; we had named her after that character in the show. We found the birthplace of Laura Ingalls Wilder, author of “Little House on the Prairie,” and that was a series Maggie loved. We ended up going past our original destination of Big Sky and made it all the way to the Oregon Coast, where we let go of some of her ashes. That trip felt beautiful. For my husband and I, it brought us closer.”

Look what we all did when we put ourselves in the fight to find a vaccine for COVID. It happened quickly. Imagine seeing that happen for kids.

“Maggie loved children so to go to Memorial Sloan Kettering and see these children suffering was hard on all of us. That’s what spurred her into action by asking us to help save other kids. We were a fully legal nonprofit by September of 2017. This is what we do now. Pediatric cancers receive very little in the way of funding for cures. We have worked really hard to fund research, specifically to the type of cancer that took Maggie’s life, that typically takes babies and toddlers. I feel like before she got sick and died, I tried not to think about death. I didn’t want to think about it. But now I see it a lot because we run the foundation. We get close to families and we’ve seen a lot of children lost to cancer. It changes you. It changes you watching your own child die but also watching other families suffer from the disease of childhood cancer. It takes an innocence away and a magic away that life used to hold. Doing the foundation lifts us up. We get microdonations from little kids. I have letters from children reading Maggie’s story online. Knowing she’s not forgotten and that she’s touched people even though she’s not here, these are the things that keep us going and lift our spirits. We are fully geared toward finding cures for pediatric cancers. Look what we all did when we put ourselves in the fight to find a vaccine for COVID. It happened quickly. Imagine seeing that happen for kids. It’s rewarding knowing we’re funding research and able to honor her memory in this way. Carrying on her legacy is rewarding. But I miss Maggie. I miss her a lot.”

Interviewed by Betsy Abraham

‘It’s important for young women to know that it’s ok to live your life in the body you are in at this moment. Your voice matters. You have to speak up.’

Marcy Cruz, Arverne

“I went on my first diet when I was 10. I weighed 110 pounds and I was ‘supposed to’ weigh 90. The doctor made it sound like a dire situation. I’ve been told throughout my life that unless I lose weight, I’m not going to get married, have kids or be happy.

“Another message I got is I have to shrink myself to fit in. I’ve never fit in anywhere. Now, at the age of 50, I realize fitting in is boring. When I was younger, all I wanted to do was fit in. I was 13 in the ’80s and there were no places to shop; I went to the men’s department and got creative. I was ripping and distressing my jeans, bedazzling clothes and using bleach and tie dye. I love how you can express yourself through fashion. Being fat, you stand out for negative reasons because society has programmed us to think fat bodies are bad, that you’re unhealthy, and that something is wrong with you.

Plus size bodies are not temporary, and we’re all not one size.

“Years later I was looking through ‘In Touch’ when I was inspired by Velvet D’Amour, a gorgeous woman whose body looked like mine, walking the runway. She was a size 26/28. I want to see bodies like mine in editorial fashion. I started going to indie fashion shows and I worked for Gwen Devoe for full-figured fashion week for two years. I didn’t see a lot of women who looked like me represented. We shop!

“Plus size bodies are not temporary, and we’re all not one size. Women that are 26/28 just want quality, fitting clothes. Clothing is a basic need. Why are we being denied that? I started writing about fashion shows and trends, and then it got more personal. I’ve been working for ‘Fashion to Figure’ and I’m also a freelance writer.

“I became a signed fit model when an agent was looking for someone to fit for a brand that was fitting for extended sizes. Unfortunately, the majority of the industry does not care about us because of our size. Inclusive means we all wear the clothes! I realized that I have been taking the blame for my body and spending my life waiting for death to catch up to me, and it was causing me not to live in the present. Happiness comes from within. It’s important for young women to know that it’s ok to live your life in the body you are in at this moment. Your voice matters. You have to speak up.”

‘Growing up, I wanted to be a rock star. I realized I needed to do something in music, but it just took a long time to get there.’

Brian Orlando, Lake Ronkonkoma

“My uncle tells a story about me being 3 years old and not leaving until he put on The Beatles. If he skipped a song, I would know it. I remember sitting on the floor of my dad’s house reading liner note after liner note of album after album. That was before the internet. That’s how I developed music knowledge, reading the backs of those albums. Growing up, I wanted to be a rock star. I can’t sing; I can’t play a guitar. I realized I needed to do something in music, but it just took a long time to get there. Being in radio is my way of finding my own voice. I drove a truck for many years, delivering frozen food to school districts.

“The DJs on the radio were the ones that got me through. I always thought it was cool that no matter what time I got in the truck, I knew what voice I would hear and what comfort I would feel from that voice. That’s what made me think about getting into radio. One day, I ran into a longtime Philadelphia radio DJ at a diner down the block from my house after being fired from a restaurant job. Fate kind of took over that day and I was on the air on Saturday mornings. We might’ve broadcast out to 50 people tops if we were lucky, on a good day. It was the best feeling of my life knowing somebody was listening.

“Later on, I started working for a station in Westchester, commuting 1 hour and 15 minutes, one way, each day. I remember when 94.3 The Shark radio station first came on the air, I said, ‘Wow, this is my station.’ I applied a couple of times and did a lot of fill-in stuff. I would leave the Westchester station in the morning and fill in the afternoons for Rob Rush. In 2014, I got a phone call while I was at the mall with a friend of mine and the program director said, ‘could you come in?’ I said, ‘you know, I’m with a friend of mine right now, if you need me to fill in’ and he goes, ‘no.’ I said, ‘Well then can I see you on Monday?’ He’s like, ‘I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.’ I said, ‘I’ll see you in 20 minutes.’ I signed and on Sept. 22, 2014 was my first full-time morning show shift on The Shark. It was liberating because I knew that this was the type of radio I always wanted to do.

There are loopholes to every dream for the kid that wants to stand on stage with his favorite musicians. I’ve done it and I still can’t play. Don’t be afraid to stand out and stand up.

“My twenties into my early thirties were always a struggle to pay the bills. I borrowed plenty of times. I went without meals and never fit in. I had family members that might’ve been well-meaning who told me I had a better chance of being struck by lightning than I did getting a job in radio. While I was at my first full-time radio gig in Atlantic City, lightning struck the building and knocked me off the air. We were both right. Never let anyone tell you ‘no.’ I had a teacher tell me I wouldn’t amount to anything as I was writing lyrics to a song in 10th grade. The teacher ripped the page out of the notebook and said, ‘This is what you’re wasting time on? You’re never going to amount to anything like this.’ He was right. I should’ve been paying attention at school. But to have your dreams knocked down was hard. That lyric that I wrote was to a Candlebox song.

“Years later, the lead singer of Candlebox and I became great friends. Looking back, I’ve had all types of rejections, so have a thick skin because without it, you’re not going to survive in any business, let alone this one. No one’s going to notice you if you’re not there. There are very few jobs in this business. The best way to get noticed is to be there. If it’s answering the phones or running the board, to get a job in radio, you need to be near the station. You need to be available and not be afraid to handle any job you’re asked to do. When bands come in, I have an acoustic guitar that hangs in the studio and I hand it to them and say, ‘I’m just learning how to play guitar. Can you show me a song or two?’ I’ve jammed with Soul Asylum, Candlebox and Bush. I played guitar with the best musicians in the world, barely knowing how to form a chord.

“There are loopholes to every dream for the kid that wants to stand on stage with his favorite musicians. I’ve done it and I still can’t play. Don’t be afraid to stand out and stand up. This is rock music. We don’t fit in by default. I drive to work every day at 4 in the morning, so I can make a living. I’m still the Long Island commuter. It still feels like I’m talking to any one of my friends. That honestly feels great.”

‘It’s great seeing something tangible come up from the ground to help put people into homes and growing communities.’

Andres Baena, Wantagh

“I never had a focus in high school or college. There was never something I wanted to do. I knew I needed money and wanted some sort of stability for myself before I pursued my passions. I ended up becoming a real estate agent in Queens. That got me familiar with learning and understanding the industry.

“My broker pushed me to go to law school. He saw that I had the hustle and ambition and got creative when needed. I ended up going to Touro and worked as hard as I could. I interned for the Town of Islip. From there, I ended up working for a village judge in Old Brookville. She then put me in touch with Beechwood, one of the largest residential developers on Long Island. That’s where it all really came together for me. I saw the realty process from soup to nuts.

“After three years, I said I needed to take the reins and do it on my own. That was in 2018, and I’ve been doing that ever since. I have a law practice and do mostly residential closings. I’m also a commercial broker.

“Eventually, I want to get into the development space and grow out the practice. It’s stressful but absolutely worth it. It’s great seeing something tangible come up from the ground to help put people into homes and growing communities I’m a part of creating Long Island and that’s super rewarding.

My dream would be to have a project that I put up, and there might be a club on the first floor of that project where I’m playing and my friends, family and anyone else who wants to come can come enjoy the music. It will all come together.

“For fun, I DJ. That’s been my therapy. I go live on Facebook and Instagram every other weekend to have fun and play music to spread joy and love. I don’t pursue it professionally because of everything else going on, but for me, it’s a serious hobby. My go-to styles are funk, soul, disco, house and Latin. They’re genres meant to make you enjoy life and disconnect from all the problems of the world and have fun in the moment.

“I definitely plan on bringing my two worlds together. I enjoy the closings, the development, and also the music. My dream would be to have a project that I put up, and there might be a club on the first floor of that project where I’m playing and my friends, family and anyone else who wants to come can come enjoy the music. It will all come together.”

Interviewed by Rachel O’Brien – Morano

‘I’ve had more than 40 revision surgeries. I deal with chronic pain every day. I’m only 24, and each day is a struggle.’

Brianna Columbo, Islandia

“I was diagnosed with meningitis at 3 weeks old, and from that I developed hydrocephalus, which is a build-up of spinal fluid in your brain. Everything was done to prevent me from having a shunt which drains the fluid; even drilling a hole in the skull to make it drain on its own. Nothing worked.

“I had 10 surgeries before I turned one. After that, I forgot I had the condition until I was 13. I was in school and I had severe headaches that resulted in vomiting. I needed emergency surgery. Everything was downhill from there. I have three shunts in my head that drain the fluid and I’ve had more than 40 revision surgeries. I deal with chronic pain every day.

“I’m only 24, and each day is a struggle. They had to shave my hair many times. At 13, it was very hard to cope with that. I had a great deal of people making fun of me for my hair being short. My senior year in high school was the hardest because I had at least 20 surgeries and was in the hospital every month. I had to take semesters off from nursing school because I had to have surgery. In the midst of that, I also lost my father.

I’ve learned that no matter how hard every day can be, you shouldn’t give up on your dreams. I’m so happy that I didn’t and that I didn’t listen to anyone that told me that I should.

“I had decided to go into medicine after being sick my whole life and growing up in the hospital setting. Plus, I watched how the nurses treated my father when he was sick, and I wanted to change that and be a better nurse for my own patients. I have had severe headaches for the past six years. No one can seem to help me with them. I still overcame the pain, pushed myself to take exams and go to clinical, and finished nursing school without letting it defeat me.

“As hard as nursing school was, I’m very proud to say I got through it. I got my first nursing job, but unfortunately, I had to go on disability. My quality of life is so poor right now. I can’t get out of bed or drive because the pain is debilitating. I want to go back to work. I was born to be a nurse and give back to the patients. I look forward to when I can. I’ve learned that no matter how hard every day can be, you shouldn’t give up on your dreams. I’m so happy that I didn’t and that I didn’t listen to anyone that told me that I should.”