‘Hopefully, one day, we could send gifts to every single nursing home resident everywhere, but we’ll do a little at a time.’

Long Beach

“I’m a Brooklyn transplant and I came to Long Island three years ago. My parents were in two different facilities here: Dad was right down the block in a nursing home in Long Beach and my mom was in an assisted living home in Far Rockaway.

“In the beginning of COVID-19, their facilities got locked down and in the end of March, we got a phone call that my dad wasn’t doing so well. We didn’t really expect that a few hours later we were going to get the call that he passed away. And then we didn’t know until we got the death certificate that it was COVID. We had to tell my mother over the phone.

“Then she started not feeling well but she always had a nervous stomach, so we figured it was that. She didn’t have a fever or a cough. But she called and had shortness of breath. My brother asked the assisted living facility to check her oxygen level and it was extremely low. She went to the hospital and passed away from COVID-19.

“From talking to the nursing home administrators, we learned there were so many seniors in these facilities that have no one and never receive a card or a gift, so last Christmas, we started taking up collections for seniors in homes. A bunch of us ladies got together and made gift bags for 130 residents. Then Valentine’s Day came around and we had students make cards for seniors.

“A friend donated party gifts, like heart necklaces and tiaras, and we dropped all of this off. A nursing home administrator told me they heard laughter coming from the residents’ rooms when they were reading the cards and looking at the silly gifts. She said, “We haven’t heard laughter here in almost a year.”

From talking to the nursing home administrators, we learned there were so many seniors in these facilities that have no one and never receive a card or a gift, so last Christmas, we started taking up collections for seniors in homes.

“We’ve now collected gifts for many other holidays: St. Patrick’s Day, Veteran’s Day, July Fourth. I was just named one of Assemblywoman Melissa Miller’s Women of Distinction. I’m almost 60 years old and starting The Micky and Dee Charitable Foundation Operation Gifts for Seniors is probably the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

“We’re not a foundation that’s getting all kinds of money. Hopefully, one day, we are that big that we could send gifts to every single nursing home resident everywhere, but we’ll do a little at a time. We’ll take a few smiles.”

‘Being a musician is hard; you have to really stand out. Remember, you’re in New York and there are so many great musicians here.’

Massapequa

“I started playing guitar early, about 10 or 11 years old. My father had a music store: Al Marino Music Center in Williston Park. I ended up working there back in the mid-70s.Then I went out on my own after that when he retired and I started a low-key studio.

“I played in a band at weddings, but I was looking to get out of it because it wasn’t my thing. I’m a jazz guitarist. DJs were really coming into effect, and it took a lot of work away from bands.

“When I got married in 1990, my wife, who is a pianist and vocalist, and I started our current business, MM Music, which we have now. We teach guitar, piano, and voice out of our house. Most of our students are school-aged kids, but we have some adults who study jazz. We have a recital for the kids once a year. Things drop off teaching-wise in the summer, so many years ago we started a summer camp called Love to Sing.

“I have also taught at LIU Post since the ’90s and give private guitar lessons there. The real bread and butter of our music business has come from teaching, but my wife and I go out and work when we can, doing gigs at restaurants. I’m a side man basically. If somebody calls me and asks, ‘Can you play a party?’ I’ll put a band together.

“Every Sunday night, I play with a jazz band at a restaurant in Amityville called Sophia’s. Being a musician is hard; you have to really stand out. Remember, you’re in New York and there are so many great musicians here. My son is starting to get into that scene. He also works for us, teaching guitar and piano. You don’t make a lot of money playing music but it’s fun. To be serious as a player, you have to be on the road. Gigs are $100; $150. I mean, it’s okay, but you know what it’s like to live on Long Island. I teach. I do gigs.

I played in a band at weddings, but I was looking to get out of it because it wasn’t my thing. I’m a jazz guitarist.

“I teach at LIU Post, my wife teaches, and she also is a music teacher at a nursery school. So that’s like five incomes, but you need five incomes to live on Long Island and be in the music business. But I wouldn’t do anything else.

“You get discouraged over the years. It’s a tough business and you could get passed over for something you want. But that’s the music business: you’re in it for the love, you’re not in it to get rich.”

‘Our daughter was diagnosed in January with an anaplastic ependymoma after two months of random vomiting, chronic headaches, losing weight, not eating, not drinking, sleeping for 22 hours a day.’

Coram

“I am a strong believer in educating and advocating about pediatric cancer, especially brain tumors, because it might save another child’s life. If this happened to my daughter, then there are other children out there that this may have happened to. Our daughter, Anisa, was diagnosed in January with an anaplastic ependymoma after two months of random vomiting, chronic headaches, losing weight, not eating, not drinking, sleeping for 22 hours a day. Her ophthalmologist said she had optic migraines. They diagnosed her with just astigmatism and said she needed glasses, which would cure the headaches. But that didn’t seem to be it.

“We brought her to the pediatrician, wondering if it was COVID. We had multiple COVID tests and blood work taken, and nothing came back positive. One evening, she was sitting on the couch with my husband, which was odd because she was sleeping so much during the week, and I walked into the house, and I looked at her. She was facing me, but her eyes were deviated completely to the left and would not go back centered.

“I picked her up and put her in our bed, and as soon as I laid her down, there was a bright blue vein bulging from her forehead. I screamed for my husband, and we rushed her to the emergency room. As soon as we went in, the first thing the doctor said was that he needs imaging of the brain. Oddly enough, the entire time she wasn’t feeling well and complaining of headaches, we asked her ophthalmologist and pediatrician if we could have imaging of her brain.

“It just seemed like something was not right in the brain. So, when the doctor in the emergency room that night said he needed imaging of the brain when we’ve been asking for it, it seemed a little off to us.

“He sent us for an MRI, and when we got back to the room, there was a swarm of doctors inside waiting for her. They started hooking her up to machines. He asked me to step out of the room, and I was like, ‘I can’t. My baby’s in here. She’s crying. What is going on?’ He looked at me and said, ‘I have to be as blunt as possible; your daughter has a large mass on her frontal lobe, and pediatric neurosurgery is coming down to take her into emergency surgery.’

They told us to kiss our baby and wait in the waiting room.

“Because of COVID regulations, only one parent was allowed in at the time. So, nobody is with my daughter except for all of these doctors poking and prying at her. I just remember getting very faint and screaming for my husband. One of the nurses ran out to get him, and as my husband was coming in, they were wheeling my daughter into another room.

“Then the NP for neurosurgery came in and handed us a stack of papers and told us to start signing. I said, ‘We need a minute to read them over.’ She replied, ‘You don’t have a minute. There are no options for you at this moment. Your daughter is slipping into a coma.’

“At that moment I just felt very sick. My husband started signing the papers because there was nothing we could do. We had to sign for any risks. They explained the procedure, and my daughter was alert and watched everything as it happened.

“She was 2 years old. From the moment she was born, I always believed in communicating with my child, but I didn’t get to do that at this moment, and she was very confused. I was confused. My husband was confused. There were a lot of emotions. They told us to kiss our baby and wait in the waiting room.

“The first surgery was to drain the fluid from her head. The second surgery was to drain the fluid from the cyst that was wrapped around her tumor. And then she had a third surgery to take the mass out. The neurosurgeon said he was just going to go in and take out the cyst that wrapped around the tumor because he didn’t want to touch the tumor yet. When he went in, he touched the cyst and the whole thing collapsed, and they were able to take the whole thing out in one shot with no remnants. Everything was out, and it only took about two to three hours for that surgery, which was great.

“When we brought her home a day before her birthday, her speech was a little off, but we worked with her, and her speech got back to normal in a week. We had to watch for cognitive delays, but we just kept working with her fine motor skills or gross motor skills.

The neurosurgery team at Stony Brook Hospital that took care of her is absolutely outstanding. Her surgeon is God’s gift.

“We had an in-home nurse come in once a week to make sure everything was OK. One morning, we got a call that the nurse tested positive for COVID. I went into my daughter’s bedroom to check on her, and she had a 102.4-degree fever, so I rushed her to the ER. They said she didn’t have COVID, but that she developed hydrocephalus and an infection in her body, which they couldn’t do anything to treat until they knew where it was coming from.

“The neurosurgery team at Stony Brook Hospital that took care of her is absolutely outstanding. Her surgeon is God’s gift. He did everything possible to figure out where this infection was. They put her on antibiotics and even tapped into some of the fluid where her incision was to make sure it wasn’t infected.

“I was on FaceTime with the neurosurgeon, who said, ‘I’m going to take a gamble and put a permanent shunt in and see what happens.’ They put it in and the infection went away the same day. Before we went home, we were told that the results of the tumor came back and that it was malignant. It was a Grade 3 anaplastic ependymoma, which is a very aggressive type of malignancy that only occurs in the brain and the spine. Based on her MRIs, there was nothing else that they could see and said to start radiation therapy and then chemotherapy.

“We did 33 sessions of proton beam radiation at the New York Proton Center. She did amazing, and her doctors there were outstanding. We started chemotherapy in April, and it was very intense.

“She did have an allergic reaction to one of the chemo drugs, but we stayed strong, and everything went well through the remainder of her treatment. Because of the chemo, she did have some poor kidney function, significant hearing loss, and she now has neuropathy for the rest of her life.

“We finished chemotherapy on June 24, and there is nothing in her MRI except for post-radiation changes. The cancer did not come back, and we are completely blessed. She is the spiciest little thing you’d ever see. The hospital tells me all the time, if we don’t see that spice, then we know something’s not right. She is part of a bowling league that meets every Saturday morning and a theater group that meets every Sunday.

We raised $144 for the Child Life Program at Stony Brook Hospital during the Farmingville Street Fair on Oct. 3, and we are collecting items through an Amazon Wish List.

“My husband and I were just going over doctor appointments for the week when I turned to him and said that we have to do something. We raised $350 creating wristbands for the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation, and then $3,300 for Alex’s Lemonade Stand in June.

“I was counting all the money we raised when I realized we should be giving back to local hospitals where we are being treated. I love raising funds for research, but shouldn’t we give back to Stony Brook, to the people who saved my baby’s life? My husband said, ‘I don’t know. Maybe we should start a nonprofit.’ Yes. We’re going to do that. I went on the computer and researched how to do it, and we now have Cadesca Strong Inc.

“We raised $144 for the Child Life Program at Stony Brook Hospital during the Farmingville Street Fair on Oct. 3, and we are collecting items through an Amazon Wish List.

“I have a large list of items that they need, which the community can donate. They need Lego kits. I know they gave a ton to my daughter. That can help a child strengthen their fine motor skills and put a smile on somebody else’s face.

“We both work full time. He works in a nursing home, and I work from home. It’s hard, but we’re doing our best. I think that we are getting to that point where everything’s looking up, and I want to be able to keep that energy and that positivity and make sure that I spread it to others as well.

“Anisa still has to eat her vegetables. She still has to clean her room and take a bath. We let her get away with little things, but we keep that normalcy.

“I want people to learn what and how important pediatric cancer is. I want to see the awareness continue and grow stronger for these families. Pediatric cancer is not something that’s ever going to leave, but if we know how to fund research to protect our children, keep them safe, and give them the right medications that aren’t going to hurt other parts of their bodies, then we are doing something.”

‘This is the one thing that makes me happy, I love working with kids.’

Holbrook

“I have been an athlete my entire life. Basketball was my main sport. My dad was my coach and I was probably 6 or 7 when I started. He treated us equally, he didn’t come down too hard on me.

“Then I got involved in everything: track, competitive dance and cheerleading. I wasn’t much of a school person, so sports was my outlet. That’s where I succeed. I found out that I could do this in school. I thought, ‘I can go to school for exercise? This is great!’

“I grew up playing sports with my brother and his friends and my mom was the one who spent hours driving me to and from practices. When I was young, my dad was just getting out of the police academy, so he was running and doing planks.

“He drove a lot of that fitness into my life when I was little. I’m a personal trainer, strength and conditioning coach and I’m a basketball coach for the boys JV and varsity teams at Academy Charter School in Hempstead. It’s a new school that started about five years ago.

I grew up playing sports with my brother and his friends and my mom was the one who spent hours driving me to and from practices.

“The first year, I brought my own equipment. I’d buy med balls, elastic bands, jump ropes. My trunk is pretty much a moving gym. It has taught me a lot of patience.

“Working with high school boys, after being in school all day, when they get to practice sometimes, they want to goof off with their friends. I still try to be tough on them and get work done but realize when I was an athlete that age, I wanted to have fun with my friends, too.

“Schools were closed a lot during the pandemic, our season got canceled, which was tough because we had a great group of seniors, so that broke my heart. We met on the field, six feet apart, and trained a bit. I wanted to give them something to do and be in their lives. This is the one thing that makes me happy, I love working with kids. I have been interning with LIU Brooklyn to get into collegiate sports.

“Next month, I’m going to Brazil to play a few games; a mini tournament. I want to prove to my team that you really can do anything. I think that’d be cool to see my team and say, ‘Hey, I’m a pro basketball player.’”

Interviewed by Rachel O’Brien – Morano

‘It’s about being fearless and embracing the journey because it’s not about the results, it’s about the process. I’m doing what I want to do with my life and I’m doing that unapologetically.’

Amityville

“My parents moved from Haiti around the mid-80s. My dad always said that the first few months, it was just such a culture shock. He had no money and didn’t speak the language. There were a lot of barriers for him to become successful.

“Today, there are a lot of young Haitians flourishing, especially on Long Island. It’s probably because their parents took that leap to come to America. They went through all those struggles to learn the language, get an education, find a job and build a family.

“I didn’t understand why my parents used to push me hard when I was younger. I used to get annoyed and wonder ‘why am I being treated like this compared to other people that I know?’ I understand now why they did that.

“A lot of who I am today, I owe that to my parents pushing me towards always being a better person. I am basically an entrepreneur. I have been working with people with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) for over six years and I am on the verge of starting my own agency, which will provide services to people suffering from TBI who may need assistance with money management or finding a place to live.

“My parents moved from Haiti around the mid-80s. My dad always said that the first few months, it was just such a culture shock.

“My management company 7twenty6 is a brand that represents never giving up, always pursuing your goals, and not worrying about monetary or material things. When it comes to making music, you have to be very consistent.

“People want to see how seriously you take this. It’s also something you got to be patient with. It’s not an overnight thing. And it’s not something where you just make one song and that’s it. It’s about being fearless and embracing the journey because it’s not about the results; it’s about the process.

“I’m doing what I want to do with my life and I’m doing that unapologetically. I also released an audiobook last year called “Eagles Fly Alone,” which is based on my story, about leaving college, and trying to find out what path I’m going to take in life.

“I played basketball at St. Joseph’s College. I was really good. I just remembered putting so much into something and then it’s all over. And then it’s like ‘Where do I go from here?’ A lot of guys don’t recover from that. A lot of athletes take it to heart.”

Interviewed by Dan Offner

‘When you’re a child with Down syndrome, acceptance is everything. Just because you’re different, it doesn’t mean you don’t have the same goals in life.’

North Babylon

“It was quite a shock when I delivered. I knew right away something was different. We were unaware that Thomas would be born with Down syndrome. It was scary hearing that your first child is special needs. He was in school since 3 months of age with early intervention, with physical, occupational and speech therapists, plus teachers coming over nonstop. Now Thomas is 15, and his siblings are 14 and 13.

“Being a big brother definitely helped him. They’re always together, and they learn from each other. His siblings advocate for him and hold his hand along the way. I worry that he’ll be picked on because he’s different. It is hard for him to communicate because of his speech. I wonder if he gets teased and he can’t explain that to me. It seems that he is proud of himself when people look at him funny. I’ve never met somebody so confident, that will look back and say, ‘I’m me.’

“He’s also very funny and warm. Everybody that meets him loves him. He’s involved in community service. I love to see him out washing cars. He helped run a pet drive for the Babylon Animal Shelter. When you’re a child with Down syndrome, acceptance is everything. Just because you’re different, it doesn’t mean you don’t have the same goals in life. You want to do everything everybody else can do, but you just need to do it at your own pace. Thomas will do it, he has no limits.

“Recently, Thomas asked why he is different and why he has Down syndrome. I told him that he’s like a superhero, and being born with the extra chromosome makes him that much more special and he has to work that much harder. Now he thinks he’s Superman and that he’s super cool!

He’s also very funny and warm. Everybody that meets him loves him. He’s involved in community service.

“I’m so proud of him. Being a mom to Thomas is very challenging. Some days you want to cry, but you wouldn’t change it for the world. It makes you think, ‘This is what I was meant to do.’ I will make sure his whole life is the best it can possibly be. Maybe it’s meant to show me what kind of person I am. I’ve learned that I am smarter than I think. I don’t have that much confidence, but I know from dealing with him that I am doing everything right. There is no rule book. Now I know I’m capable, and I’m lucky to have him and he’s lucky to have me.”

‘Middle school was when I started to realize that I was gay. That was when I really knew, and I never wanted to admit that to myself. I was nervous because it was uncommon. Nobody came out in middle school.’

Smithtown

“I think that a lot of kids today struggle with coming out. It was really hard for me. I wasn’t really into sports, and I didn’t relate to many boys in my grade; I always knew. My parents got divorced when I was in middle school, so I never really had that father figure to play catch with. It was more about going shopping with my mother and sister and doing things that were more feminine than most guys my age did. With my sister, we used to go downstairs and play with her Barbies, and looking back now, that was such a clear example. I don’t know why my mother was surprised.

“Middle school was when I started to realize that I was gay. That was when I really knew, and I never wanted to admit that to myself. I was nervous because it was uncommon.

“Nobody came out in middle school. I tried to make myself more masculine. I never wore certain things, and I would make jokes. I guess that was my coping mechanism, to try and not be that, but kids still had that idea. In seventh grade, the anonymous website Ask.fm was big, and I would say about 75 percent of the questions I got were ‘Are you gay?’ I think that was the start of one of the worst times in my life because my parents were splitting up and I had kids making fun of me.

“Eighth grade comes around, and I have my first woman crush, even though it was more me being naive and trying to really just avoid the situation. She knew that I really was attracted to guys, so that’s why when I tried to pursue her, she wouldn’t really allow me to. I appreciate that because I don’t have that embarrassment, and I can never say that I dated a woman. After that whole situation happened, I told myself I would never do that ever again. I would never try to talk to another woman in that way again in my life.

I didn’t know how to come out. I saw kids in high school do that, and I thought, ‘That’s so ballsy,’ but then kids would know you as ‘the gay kid.’ I didn’t want to be known for that. Why should I have to be categorized that way?

“I never had a boyfriend or girlfriend in middle or high school like most kids do. I sat at home and I was miserable. I thought maybe working will help solve my problems, so at the beginning of high school, my friend and I both applied to McDonald’s. Throughout my four years of high school, that was how I solved my problems – I worked like a dog. I worked as much as I could because that was my way of coping and de-stressing. I went to work, and I didn’t think about anything outside of it. I worked 26 hours there and then I worked at a clothing store, Banana Republic, too.

“High school was really when I started to become more myself and felt more comfortable. I minded my business, and I did my own thing. I was never really into dating. I never went to parties, I just worked. Inside, I was still hurting because I didn’t know what to do. I was really stuck. I didn’t know how to come out. I saw kids in high school do that, and I thought, ‘That’s so ballsy,’ but then kids would know you as ‘the gay kid.’ I didn’t want to be known for that. Why should I have to be categorized that way?

“Right before I started college, I wanted a therapist. That was who I wanted to come out to. Some people see that as a weakness, but I didn’t. I just wanted to talk to somebody. It took me about a year to finally tell her. I was so afraid. She was really understanding, and she gave me a hug and ever since then, our relationship got even stronger. I was able to be my real self with her.

“Once I got to college, I wanted to branch out. I had no idea what to do. I was 18 and never kissed anybody. I didn’t know how to even talk to a woman or a man in that way. I told myself that I’m going to try.

“I was Snapchatting this guy from college, and I thought it was so cool to talk to a guy. We went on a date, and I was so nervous he probably thought I was crazy. I didn’t really know how to interact with someone like that. We only chatted for two months, but that was my first boy interaction. Talking to him and going on that date really solidified it. That was the point where I knew I was going to date guys for the rest of my life.

I was so stressed. I was throwing up every day. I would wake up and have this nausea. Every time I went out with him, I would throw up because I was so nervous about what I was going to be telling my family and what was going to happen.

“I had all this pent-up stress, and I didn’t know who to tell or what to do. I was a commuter, so it was hard for me to find friends at school, and I didn’t want to tell my friends from home that I was gay. I think they knew, but I wasn’t ready to tell them. I went on that first date and nobody knew. I was figuring it all out on my own and it was really hard. In class, a girl came up to me and asked to work in a group together. Basically, we hit it off and went to dinner after. She asked me what relationships have I been in, and I thought to myself, ‘Should I tell her? I don’t even know this girl.’ I said, ‘I’m gay and you’re the first person I’ve ever told, besides my therapist.’ That became my strongest friendship because she knew my true self. I finally had someone to talk to.

“I ended up having my first real boyfriend, and we dated for a couple of months. My family still didn’t know. I was lying to my mother and sister about where I was going, and my sister was catching on. She was questioning me about where I was and what I was doing. I was so stressed. I was throwing up every day. I would wake up and have this nausea. Every time I went out with my boyfriend, I would throw up because I was so nervous about what I would tell my family and what was going to happen. It really hurt me because I had this boyfriend for so long, and I could never bring him home. I wanted my mom and sister to meet him, and I couldn’t do that.

“The next person I wanted to tell was my sister because we’re very close. We’re like best friends, attached at the hip. My therapist told me that there will never be a right time to tell my sister, and that stuck with me because she’s right. I think that’s really important for people because they wait for the right time, but there never will be one. It was 4 in the morning. I was getting ready for bed, and I told my sister I had something to tell her. She was like, ‘What? You have a boyfriend?’ and I said, ‘Yeah, I do.’ She was so excited and happy for me. It was a stepping-stone for my internal growth, and that was really big for me. I’ve realized, in this journey, the closer you are with someone, the harder it is to tell.

The physical stress stopped after I told her. I didn’t have to lie anymore. I went through so much stress just to tell somebody that I like a man instead of a woman. That’s just the way I was born.

“I didn’t know how my mom was going to react. That’s what was holding me back. That’s why I was afraid to tell her. I knew she would still love me as who I am, but I didn’t want to be perceived as different. My mom is a police officer, and she’s been doing it for 25 years. She would still make comments, like saying she wanted to set me up with a female intern at her work. I don’t think she knew yet.

“After I told my sister, I started to tell more friends. I wanted to come out to the world. It was almost the social norm to post on social media, so in December, I drafted this letter that was basically for my sister, but it was really for me to come out. It was a short summary of my story. I printed it out and folded it in my laptop. I was going to post it on Instagram, but then about two weeks later, my mom found the letter when I wasn’t home. She read it and called my sister into my room. My sister told her she already knew I was gay. My mom told my sister she felt that she failed as a mother because I wasn’t able to tell her. That really hurt me because that’s not how it was supposed to be. It’s because I wasn’t ready.

“That night, I started to break down in tears while driving. I had all this pent-up stress about how I’m going to tell my mother and that was eating me alive. I started crying on the phone with my sister, and she told me to pull over so she could meet me. She said that my mom found the letter. I didn’t even tell my sister about the letter. We were both crying, and I said, ‘Wow, mom knows I’m gay.’ My sister kept saying that I did it, and I’ll always remember that. She’s right; I did it.

“I was finally able to be comfortable with my mother. I get home and I go into my mom’s room and we both cry. She reminded me of how much she loves me and how proud she is. It was probably the hardest day of my life because it was so unexpected, and I was never planning on telling her that day. The physical stress stopped after I told her. I didn’t have to lie anymore. I went through so much stress just to tell somebody that I like a man instead of a woman. That’s just the way I was born. I am proud of myself and I think that everything that happened was meant to be and I wouldn’t change anything.”

Interviewed by Melanie Gulbas

‘I feel that I can give back by doing this, whatever the need may be.’

Setauket

“My dad is passed now, but he would challenge us and say, ‘Work harder, but never forget you need to help someone else.’ He was a Navy frogman and a decorated New York City fireman. He had a very difficult upbringing and wanted more for his children than he ever had. He taught us everything good in life. He was included in a book, ‘20,000 Alarms: The Memoirs of New York’s Most Decorated Fireman.’ My father never shared things about growing up. We knew his mother even though he was in foster care. We met his father once. When we read the book as kids, we were like, ‘Wow’ because my father always downplayed everything he did.

“I used to work alongside him on his car, whatever he was doing. My first job was seal-coating driveways. My second job was laying bluestone patios. But I was a stay-at-home mom of five for years, and I took every day as a challenge. I volunteered in the schools, was on the PTA, class mother, soccer coach.

“There came a day when everyone was just about done with school and I was bored. I wasn’t used to not being challenged. I worked for my husband on Sundays in one of his hardware stores, and my friend had a store, The Writing Place, in Stony Brook Village, and she needed help. It was the first time I was out of the house and employed. I had the best job in the world as a mom. I decided at 58 years old to open a women’s clothing and accessories boutique.

I used to work alongside him on his car, whatever he was doing. My first job was seal-coating driveways.

“In 2014, I started DazzleBar with two friends. After a year, I bought them out. A daughter then joined me in business. I enjoy what I do, which is meeting people. My customers become my family; some of my customers become employees. I get to do a lot of fundraising events for people. I have worked with 10 different school districts, Boy Scout groups, local sports teams; it enables us to give back.

“During COVID, we did virtual fundraisers. A portion of the orders would be dedicated to the fundraiser. I feel that I can give back by doing this, whatever the need may be. I learned from my dad, you have to make yourself available to other people in whatever way. Life is too short not to try something new. I love what I get to do. I’m 65 and don’t see myself slowing down.”

‘My co-workers would also call me the Bra Whisperer and the Bra Guru. I had a customer walk in and say, “My friend told me to come in here and ask for the Bra Lady.’”

Deer Park

“I’m known as the Bra Lady. Through word of mouth, people come to see me from many miles away because I’m the Bra Lady. I’ve been with Lane Bryant for 16 years. When I started, I was trained for 40 hours with a bra trainer. I grasped a lot of what she taught me, so eventually I took her position.

“I was holding training classes in different locations and teaching the girls about how bras fit and how to overcome obstacles for unusual situations; for example, somebody who is pregnant or nursing and their breast size changes; somebody who had a mastectomy and has either one or both breasts removed; somebody who removed a partial piece of their breast; somebody who had loose skin because of weight loss surgery … I once fit a lady who had surgery and removed her nipples.

“Now I have been in Levittown for four years, and I train all of my employees so that they’re experts. The biggest challenge is fitting women correctly. As plus-size women, we have some lumps and bumps. Some people measure incorrectly because they don’t want to get up in the lumps and bumps. I would tell them that everyone wants a good, form-fitting bra.

Because I endured a lot of illness with family members, I think I am more understanding about the needs of my customers with cancer.

“My co-workers would also call me the Bra Whisperer and the Bra Guru. I had a customer walk in and say, ‘My friend told me to come in here and ask for the Bra Lady.’ All the employees started pointing to me. She had come all the way from Brooklyn! They send their friends to me. I have not had a person I couldn’t help. It’s fun and nice to know that people recognize my ability and appreciate my talents. I am very sensitive to people’s issues, and I can read body language very well. I feel like I know what to say. I also have customers coming in desperately looking for anything and everything because they are so limited in where they can shop, as there are very few stores for plus-size women. It’s very frustrating and difficult for them.

“In helping such a variety of women, I have learned so much from their obstacles. I had to fine-tune each situation and adapt it to their problems. Everyone needs a different kind of bra fit. Some of the most meaningful experiences have been with women who were sick, because I was able to relate to their special stories.

“My mother had cancer and passed away when I was 25. As a teenager, I was caring for a sickly person. Later on, I was with someone for 20 years. We were very different; I’m white, he was Jamaican. He was so strong and hardworking. He had such good morals. It was so interesting to spend my life with someone from a totally different country and world. He had Hodgkin lymphoma three times. When he was first diagnosed, we had a small child. My daughter had been born prematurely at three pounds. I was originally in the medical field but went to sales because it was close to home, and having a sick husband and small baby, I needed to be able to go home if I could. The schedule was also more flexible, and I am grateful for that.

“However, everything together was very stressful. It’s probably why my weight has been up and down my whole life. Five years ago, he passed away. Unfortunately, he had a hard battle, but he fought throughout it. He was the love of my life. I was a widow at 37; my daughter lost her father at 10. He made me very strong. Because I endured a lot of illness with family members, I think I am more understanding about the needs of my customers with cancer. Some have no eyebrows and no eyelashes, they’re very scared, and they’re losing weight. I have even helped people with ports in their chests. They need special bras that can help with that. I have shared my own struggles so that I can help them.

“Through being the Bra Lady, I have learned that I am very adaptable. It’s a very good experience because I feel like I can help people. I realize how valuable life is. My daughter just had her sweet 16 and she is one of my customers. The joke around the store is that I’m the mom of the bras. As soon as customers walk in, I start assessing their size. I’m usually right. I’m just glad that I am there for people in a meaningful way while they also help me learn more about myself.”

‘I signed up for a few comic con webinars and took notes. I learned as much as I could.’

Bohemia

“One day, I was at the reference desk of the East Islip Public Library where I work. I got a call from a young man asking about the comic con at the Cradle of Aviation Museum. I looked it up and I told him the details and when I got to the price, which wasn’t expensive to me, he said, ‘Oh, that’s kind of expensive.’ I thought, ‘That’s sad if he can’t go because of the price. I wonder if maybe we could do something here for free?’

“I was the head of adult services, and I asked my staff what they thought about it. They said, ‘You don’t have the experience. We don’t have a budget.’ So, we kind of shelved it until that summer. We have a New York State summer reading club theme every year and that year’s theme was ‘Every Hero Has a Story.’ With that being the theme and the fact that many superheroes come from literature, we thought maybe we could finally try to hold a comic con.

“We formed a committee that included the young adult librarian, children’s librarian and me. We wanted something for all ages and, of course, it would be free. I started reading articles about library comic cons. I signed up for a few comic con webinars and took notes. I learned as much as I could. We contacted Barnes & Noble and comic bookstores and publishers and got freebies. We created a Facebook page and immediately started hearing from vendors to my surprise. Then we found out about a nonprofit group that would come to us, the 501st Legion: Empire City Garrison. They dress up as Star Wars stormtroopers and bring Darth Vader. The costumes are really magnificent.

We picked the last Saturday in July for the comic con, and it’s remained that way ever since we started in 2015, although the last two years have been virtual.

“We picked the last Saturday in July for the comic con, and it’s remained that way ever since we started in 2015, although the last two years have been virtual. We would do green screen photos and had a room with virtual reality. We would basically just use every room in the building. We encouraged people to dress up and we had a costume contest.

“It was so much more successful than we anticipated, so we continue to do it each year and we just keep adding to it. Comic books are not really one of my interests, but I was totally in favor of doing this because it was good for the community, and it made people really happy.”