‘I see this trauma as a blessing because it made me a more positive and grounded person. I was able to start writing music.’

Port Jefferson

“I suffered from a brain trauma in 2009, when my daughter was 6 months old. It turned my whole world upside down. The whole recovery took about five years, during which time I went through all different emotions. Because I’ve been a lifelong musician, my husband said, ‘When you get through this, you’re going to write incredible music.’ I couldn’t even form a sentence without getting symptomatic and nauseous! I was too sick to even reach out for help. There was so much uncertainty, and I didn’t know if I was ever going to heal or if I would ever be the same. It was something that was so much bigger than me.

There is always hope in a hopeless situation.

“I had every reason in the world to be angry. My family and I suffered, but I had to make a choice. I could either hold on to this anger for the rest of my life, or I could live my life with the strength and resilience that it took to survive this trauma. Lo and behold, I was able to start writing music about my trauma. I wanted to write an album that was geared around hope. ‘Finding Hope in Hopeless’ is a healing album that helps you acknowledge feelings about your struggles, and it will also help you find the strength within yourself to cope through challenges.

“I started going on tour before COVID, and I realized that when people heard my story and my music, it brought their own emotions into play, and they related it to their own lives. I see this trauma as a blessing because it made me a more positive and grounded person. It had to be a choice that I can’t hold on to it for the rest of my life. Some people never get over it, and they live their lives in the past. I’m choosing to live in the future. I’m proud that I’m a survivor, and that a small idea turned into a bigger one in which I’m helping other people. Also, I hope my 14-year-old daughter, who was a baby when this happened, sees that I went through something so traumatic and turned it into something more positive that can help other people. I tell people they should never give up. There is always hope in a hopeless situation. Take it day by day, hour by hour, move forward and know within your heart that things will get better. I think if you know it in your heart, your day will just be brighter.”

Interviewed by Iris Wiener

‘When I lost my parents, I had to be strong for my family. When I got cancer, I had to be strong for me.’

East Northport

“My mom died in a car accident heading to my stepsister’s rehearsal dinner. Then my father got hit by a car walking across the street and died on impact. My stepfather, who I look at as my own dad, got into a car accident as well and lost his leg.

“I had to basically take care of everybody. I helped my stepdad raise my little brother, who was 11 when my mom died, and then when my dad died, I had to help raise my sister on his side. During COVID, not only did I lose my dad, but I was dealing with trying to keep my business, Revolution Fitness, afloat. Finally, when the dust settled in early 2021, I started having health complications. I had a pain in my back; we thought it was my gallbladder, so we had it removed to find out it wasn’t my gallbladder. It was a tumor on my spine. It was a non-Hodgkin lymphoma, a rare subtype called anaplastic large cell lymphoma. Fortunately, I caught it very early.

At the end of the day, life is going to try to knock you down. It’s up to us to get back up.

“When I reached out to one of my mediums, he said to me that the pain that I was dealing with in my back was my mom letting me know that’s where the cancer was. I always said to people that it was like somebody was literally holding my spine and trying to rip it out of my back. Once they saw on the MRI that it was a tumor, the pain went away. My medium also said by the third chemo treatment, which happened to be on my birthday, I would be cancer free, and he was right; the tumor was gone. We did three more treatments to be on the safe side, but it was hard because it took me away from my business even more than COVID did, because at least then we were able to do outdoor classes, virtual classes, private sessions. We gave our clients the option to freeze their memberships during COVID, but 85 percent of them decided to keep them open to support us.

“Everybody in this town has my back. I grew up here. I went to Northport High School, and I made sure my business was going to be in East Northport. Once I was cleared to return to work, I didn’t take another day off for months. When I lost my parents, I had to be strong for my family. When I got cancer, I had to be strong for me, which I wasn’t used to. At the end of the day, life is going to try to knock you down. It’s up to us to get back up.”

Interviewed by Hannah Fusaro

‘We’re all together and try to work together to better our community.’

Uniondale

“I am an EEG technician. EEG, or electroencephalography, is used when someone has seizures. We attach leads to their head to assess them. It falls under the umbrella of neurodiagnostic technology. I’m a service line manager for Northwell, so I work with labs from Chappaqua to Bay Shore. I’m working with labs on quality competencies and just trying to elevate our field.

“I also co-own a school where we teach students how to do EEGs. It’s in Hempstead, and we’ve been running it now for maybe six years. I’m one of the lead instructors, and it’s a six-month program where we teach the fundamentals of EEG. My partner started by teaching out of his house. I started learning from him, and loved it so much, I said we need to open a school.

“I had worked as a correction officer for New York City for four years. But that didn’t really work out. If you can imagine working in jail, it’s not fun. I was like, ‘This isn’t for me.’ Then I said, ‘I need to start going to school,’ and that’s how I found EEG.

People loved it so much that people kept reaching out to us to do it. It ended up being huge.

“I’ve been a fireman for 14 years. I wanted to help my community. I love the camaraderie. It’s really a great place, especially for young kids that are starting out. I didn’t go to college right out of high school. I went into the workforce because I had a child, so I never got that whole feeling of the fraternities and that brotherhood. And I got it here. Just being around a lot of men that are white-collar, blue-collar workers who you just learn from.

“In March of 2020, I started 3C’s Productions with my sister and her husband. My sister had her birthday in March, so we had a party for her on Zoom. I played music, and we had some games. People loved it so much that people kept reaching out to us to do it. It ended up being huge. In 2021, we grossed over $100,000 doing virtual parties with corporations. I couldn’t believe it. We also did virtual memorials for family members who passed from COVID. We helped because people couldn’t go to funeral homes.

“I’m also the treasurer of the Uniondale Community Council. My daughter has volunteered for them, and it’s all a community thing. We’re all together and try to work together to better our community. I incorporate my family in everything I do.”

Interviewed by Dan Offner

‘I still meet people who don’t know about climate change. But eventually the tide is going to keep moving.’

Huntington Station

“As a kid I always did well in science, and I asked my grandma for books about animals. When I was 10, she gave me a National Geographic book, “Birds,” and I remember looking at pictures of all these beautiful birds and being in complete awe of nature. And then came this defining moment.

“I came to the section that still makes me want to cry of a bird covered in oil from the Exxon Valdez spill. I decided then that it’s unacceptable, and how can humans let this happen?

“I was on the path to stop it. In college, I studied environmental studies and got a master’s in environmental law. I wanted to figure out ways that we can reduce these impacts on nature.

“I had a radio show on WUSB Stony Brook for seven years to highlight environmental organizations, and now we have an international podcast. Five years ago, I founded the nonprofit Green Inside and Out to help people understand how the daily choices we make impact the broader environment and our own health.

The planet is going to do what it’s going to do, and it doesn’t care whether we believe in it or not.

“We publish fact sheets usually in response to questions I get, like, ‘What kind of dry cleaner should I use? How do I reduce plastics? What kind of clothing should I wear?’

“My goal is to highlight solutions and how others are trying to address these problems. My day job is working on state clean-energy policy. My nonprofit I do on the side, giving hundreds of talks all over Long Island.

“We worked on getting legislation in Suffolk County to have signage put on the wall that tells you what sort of chemical is being used at the dry cleaner.

“It’s a customer’s right to know when something is in a product or a service that they’re using if it’s going to be harmful to their health. That’s one successful change we were able to help bring about. Our individual actions make a difference.

“Collectively, we can help shape policy. We can influence our elected officials, and we can also influence businesses by what we purchase.

“I still meet people who don’t know about climate change. But eventually the tide is going to keep moving. The planet is going to do what it’s going to do, and it doesn’t care whether we believe in it or not. That’s what’s going to dictate the response. Hopefully, it’s a sound and reasonable response.”

Interviewed by Liza Burby

‘I think the car helps my son hold on to pieces of memories of my dad, keep those memories alive.’

Wading River

“My father’s first car was a 1956 Buick Special, and for his 25th wedding anniversary, my mother got him an old beat up ’56 Buick Special that we found. He put 100 grand into doing a nut-and-bolt restoration of the car. A few years later, my son was born. My son was very close to my father, and my father was crazy about my son. When my son was 5, my father was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer. He deteriorated rapidly and died six months later. One of the last things my father said to me was, Make sure you take care of your boy, our boy.’ My son was devastated.

I see my father in him, where he’s that kid who’s amiable with everybody.

“Soon after my father died, my mother told me that my father wanted my son to have the car. I said, ‘But he’s 6,’ and she said, ‘Well, you guys keep it until he’s old enough.’ When I approached my son, I said, ‘Grandpa wanted you to have something,’ and he said, ‘I know, the car.’ Apparently, he told my son about the car, but he never said anything to me. So, my son, now 13, owns a fully restored 1956 3-speed manual Buick Special. It’s not a fun car to drive. It’s almost 5,000 pounds — it’s like driving a freight train — but the car is important to me; it represents my father, who was the kind of guy who would find and point out the best in someone, even the worst person in the world. My father gave it to my son because it was a piece of him.

“I think the car helps my son hold on to pieces of memories of my dad, keep those memories alive. I see my father in him, where he’s that kid who’s amiable with everybody. He’s got a lot of my father’s personality. The first time my son drives the car, I’m sure my father will come to his mind. Probably, this was a cathartic way for my father to deal with not being around for my son, to keep a piece of him with my son, and I think it works. It’s a way to him to remember his grandfather was part of his life. We go to a few car shows a year, but mostly we drive it to Greenport, park and get ice cream. People come up to the car and say how beautiful it is, and I say, ‘Thanks, it’s his,’ and right away they say, ‘Ah, that’s great,’ then talk to him about how special it is. It allows us to remember what a truly special and influential person my father was in our lives.”

Interviewed by Ian J. Stark

‘Working with people who have trauma, I see they often repeat patterns without noticing.’

Riverhead

“It started when I became ordained as a minister in a church. I was working with young people, and I noticed a lot of them had things that were going on, whether it was fighting or strange things, nail-biting. I started asking them, ‘Why do you do what you do?’ And they started sharing with me things they were concerned about with their parents. Some had trauma — they had seen people shot, mothers killed, fathers killed, major situations where their siblings were hurt that they never dealt with. I was their Sunday school teacher, so this was born out of that, I thought, ‘I can help them.’ I created a group in the community, a black neighborhood, Gordon Heights. I had 30 to 50 children per day for two weeks at vacation Bible school, and I kept doing it for years.

“Then I expanded the program to counseling for families. I created a book, ‘How to Scream Without Yelling,’ for young people going through traumas. It was a journal for them to be able to say what they needed to say without having bad behavior. I used that a lot with my counseling sessions. That was about 30 years ago. I knew that I had to work with the moms; many were single moms who had several children with several different fathers.

“Working with people who have trauma, I see they often repeat patterns without noticing. I was working with survivors, but it was more than just surviving it, it was the trauma now and what do you do with it. I wrote a book about surviving sexual abuse as a child. ‘Stuff! The Stuff No One Told Us About Life After Sexual Abuse.’ Sexual abuse affected my life, my habits, how I viewed money, how I viewed men, how I viewed women, emotionally where I was. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network accepted my book as one of their preferred reading materials.

I started training people to get hope again, get their GED, go to work. I acted like their momma. I’d say, ‘Listen, get it together. You can do this.’

“Now, I work with Long Island Coalition for the Homeless. I’m a real estate broker, and I was working in Wyandanch, a really hard neighborhood, and everyone I was working with was in a housing program, and all we did was rentals. We saw cases where the mother would die, and the Section 8 voucher was gifted to the child. I’ve seen adults have children, and they’d keep repeating the same pattern. The other pattern was in shelters; they’d get so despondent and hopeless. I saw that it was something like 80 percent of people in shelters are people of color. It was crazy. These people are feeling hopeless, and in the middle of all that, there’s children being born in the shelter, and they’re growing up like this. They’re 3, then they’re 9, then they’re 15. And I’m going, ‘There’s a problem. Why is this happening?’ Sure enough, it was a pattern generationally; they got comfortable and stayed in the shelter.

“So, I started training people to get hope again, get their GED, go to work. I acted like their momma. I’d say, ‘Listen, get it together. You can do this.’ I see the same patterns with homelessness. There’s a trauma in there somewhere. I was able in my role to address the matter and help them move out of homelessness. I’ve been doing that for about four years now. As a landlord engagement specialist, my day-to-day is educating landlords, property managers, real estate developers and lawmakers on having affordable, safe and equitable housing. You need inclusion, accepting the culture of that person. I educate on that end. I’m also on the committee for the revitalization of downtown Riverhead. I’m also president of the Greater Gordon Heights Chamber of Commerce in the business district. And I’m the executive chair of the Town of Brookhaven NAACP. My work as a minister and counselor, they all work together, they just blend. Insurance companies don’t cover this type of counseling, so I need to get grants and get other nonprofits involved to help the communities. Most people don’t know that they have a trauma response, so it’s important to take care of your mental health and take care of you before you can take care of someone else.”

Interviewed by Rachel O’Brien – Morano

‘You want to give every cat an opportunity to thrive and be healthy and be a house cat if they’re social.’

Aquebogue

“I moved to Aquebogue over 20 years ago. We were walking up and down the block, and we said, ‘Gosh, there’s lots of cats around here.’ Neighbors said other elderly neighbors died and their kids let out their cats who weren’t altered. Trap, neuter and return to the colony became an obsession. I sort of got hooked. You want to give every cat an opportunity to thrive and be healthy and be a house cat if they’re social. There are hundreds of feral cat colonies on Long Island. People think they’re wildlife, but they’re not. These cats were adopted and never altered, and they were released and had litters and had to fend for themselves. The cruelty, the unnecessary abandonment, the sickness you see when you’re helping these animals, weighs on you.

I love being able to do this and showing others how to make a difference.

“We have to deal with businesses that don’t want us on the property. Residents want them removed or even worse, killed. I grew up loving animals; they were a means of therapy for me. I can’t imagine people wanting to harm them. My parents were immigrants to the U.S. in 1972 and worked hard for my siblings and me to achieve our dreams. My father passed away this October, and he was my biggest cheerleader for the rescue. He knew how important animal rescue was to me. If you’re not all in, you can’t do TNR. You need to trap every animal that’s in the colony, get them tested, treated and recuperated. You don’t want to do wrong by the animal if you don’t recuperate them properly.

“In 2015, my husband, my friends and I started a rescue group, the North Fork Country Kids. I had moved from Nassau and became this country kid. I ended up TNRing about 200 cats near where I live. We deal with cats hit by a car, or that have their legs severed. People don’t see it. Their assumption is, ‘They’ll fend for themselves.’ But that’s not happening. They’re searching for food and shelter; they’re suffering. I’m an English teacher in West Islip. There’s an uplifting part to it. I’ve had students of mine get involved, and now they’re part of the TNR world. These kids see firsthand what’s happening with these animals. I’m all about education. How do we prevent abuse and neglect? I love being able to do this and showing others how to make a difference.”

Interviewed by Rachel O’Brien – Morano

‘I was the only parent. I was the only one there to discipline my children and raise them. It was difficult, but I survived.’

North Babylon

“My husband passed away in 2016 tragically and unexpectedly. I’ve had to raise four kids on my own, and it’s been difficult. I have three boys and one girl, and they were all very young when it happened. I constantly thought, ‘What’s my next step?’ I was vulnerable, but I had to step up to the plate for my children. I had to get certain things done in order to survive and face whatever I had to face to get through life. At that time, I was a stay-at-home mom, and I couldn’t look for a job because of my busy schedule. By the time I took care of the kids in the morning, I’d come home and do chores, prepare dinner, do the laundry, go grocery shopping and do all these other things, and then it would already be time for them to come home. Then, when they got home, they had to go to these activities, like football and baseball.

Time heals our love and our grief, but there’s no time line on grieving.

“I was the only parent. I was the only one there to discipline my children and raise them. It was difficult, but I survived. I’m so close with my children. My role with them is as their mother and friend. I am their go-to person, and I want to always be that person for them. I had a lot of family support. On weekends, family would step in and offer support or babysit them while I took a break for myself. My friends were also a great help to me. Being able to get dressed up and get out of the house to see my friends for dinner about once a month was great for my mental health.

“I had my own support team, and my kids also had their own. The schools would check in with the kids and make sure they were OK. My kids were on sports teams, and the leagues were supportive and really stepped in by volunteering to drive them to and from practices. All the support was phenomenal. Three years ago, when the kids got a bit older, I decided that I needed to get out, and I looked for a part-time job. I’ve been working part time since then. It’s helped me to get out of the house, and it’s just beneficial to my mental health. My mental health could have drastically declined, but I always kept my head up for my children. I had to push forward. Time heals our love and our grief, but there’s no time line on grieving.”

Interviewed by Melanie Gulbas

‘It’s a human right that every single person on this planet should have access to fresh fruits and vegetables.’

Syosset

“My name is Desiree. I’m 9 years old and I had an idea: Instead of throwing out our seeds, we could save them and grow them in our local farms.

“It started out when I was 4. There was a sign outside of my preschool asking for canned food donations, and I asked my mom, ‘Why do we eat fresh fruit and vegetables, and the people getting the donations get canned food?’ I wanted to donate fresh tomatoes because I love tomatoes.

“My mom explained that canned food keeps longer and is easier to donate. We had a garden that year, and I saw how seeds grew into vegetables, so I thought, ‘Can we just plant seeds and give them food?’ That’s cost efficient, and I’ll go and hand it to them door to door so that it doesn’t go bad.

“I wondered who owned the land first, and why do only some people have access to fresh food, and how can I change that? I wrote a letter to President Biden and sent him $17 asking him to give my school a greenhouse so I could grow vegetables all year ’round to donate, but I haven’t heard back yet.

I collected so many seeds that Island Harvest cannot even grow it all this year.

“I started collecting seeds in first grade. At my house, I would have this huge bucket right next to the mailbox for people to come and put their seeds. That year, I grew a lot of vegetables in my school garden, and the produce went to the family of vets.

“Then, COVID happened, so the rest of the seeds stayed with me, and I kept adding to my collection. I teamed up with the head farmer at Island Harvest; people can volunteer there to farm the land.

“This year, they are going to use all of my seeds on the farm. I collected gallon-sized plastic bags full of bell pepper and cantaloupe seeds. Did you know that one seed from a cantaloupe can make four cantaloupes, and there are about 300 seeds in each cantaloupe? We could feed so many bellies out there in the world. That is how I will stop world hunger.

“I collected so many seeds that Island Harvest cannot even grow it all this year. Families who qualify for donations from Island Harvest receive boxes of food, and it’s hard to fill every single box with nutritious food. I want to do my part to make sure every box is full. It’s a human right that every single person on this planet should have access to fresh fruits and vegetables.”

Interviewed by Liza Burby