‘I decided not to let those scary, unfortunate realities define me, but to use them as tools for triumph.’

Southampton

“I was born and raised in the Village of Southampton. My parents came here in the late ’40s from North Carolina and Virginia as part of the great migration of Black people from the South who came here to work on the potato farms.

“My mother worked in the Bulova watch factory in Sag Harbor and my father worked on farms, owned a landscaping business and then owned a restaurant where the Lovin’ Spoonful got their start.

“I remember being about 7 years old in 1962, watching cartoons and eating my cereal and looking up and no longer seeing the cartoon but instead seeing attack dogs held by policemen and other policemen with hoses making people who looked like me fly through the air with the force of that water.

“I was so confused because a police officer had just come to our second-grade class to talk about how they were there to serve and protect us. I remember the fear that gripped me. I also remember my mother telling us we could not go down Jobs Lane. I couldn’t understand that.

“When I was in high school, I drove with a group of teenagers down that lane; we were determined to. I saw the mannequins in the store windows and couldn’t figure out what the big deal was. But when we got to a light, a white guy asked us what we ‘N-word’ were doing there.

“That’s when I realized that my mother hadn’t wanted me to experience that. But I decided not to let those scary, unfortunate realities define me, but to use them as tools for triumph. I think that was the beginning of my advocacy for injustice throughout my career.

“Years later when I was assistant to the village mayor of Southampton, I started my 16-year advocacy to convert the old local barbershop into a museum.

“When I was growing up, the barbershop was on one side and the beauty parlor on the other in the same building. In 2010, a letter came across the mayor’s desk to tear the building down because it was ‘an eyesore’ at the entrance of the village.

“I told the mayor I’ll be the crazy woman in front of the bulldozer, and this is not going to happen. It was the start of my journey to be the founder and executive director of the Southampton African American Museum.”

What I learned as a child is, when you see injustice, you have the power to change and make a difference.

“My auntie was the beautician in that beauty parlor, and when I was about 11, I would answer the phones and write down appointments for her. One of my best memories was being asked by her to do coffee runs down the road and using the change to buy sweets.

“The beauty and barber shops were not just a place you get your hair done. They were a gathering place for our community, like a community living room for us.

“They were a safe haven, a place that we felt at home, a place we felt like family. My auntie taught a lot of us young women how to be a lady. She talked about the importance of us carrying ourselves a certain way and gave us etiquette lessons.

“The barbershop next door was where the owner emphasized the importance of education and voting, and he trained young men to be barbers, two of whom are still in the area today. So it was important for our community. I didn’t want to see it torn down. Eventually, the building was purchased by the town Community Preservation Fund on village property.

“Originally, we called it the African American Museum of the East End with the 501(c)(3) [organization] we established. I started curating exhibitions and film festivals, spoken word and live jazz to get the word out.

“We had a grand opening on Juneteenth in 2021. The thing that kept me going was knowing that it was important to leave a legacy here for our community.

“We contributed a lot in this community, and even now my community is all being gentrified. With the latest census, the Black demographics are very low to none at this point. So, if nothing else, we will not be erased.

“At the museum, people learn about the history that they’re not taught in school. So many people are shocked that there is even a Black museum or there were even Black people in Southampton’s history.

“For me, this work is not about the applause; it’s about the cause. Because when I look back, this has been in my DNA to be an advocate for a long time. What I learned as a child is, when you see injustice, you have the power to change and make a difference.”

Interviewed by Liza Burby

‘I’m still that kid who can’t believe this is happening.’

Farmingville

“When I was 7, my mom took me to see ‘Fiddler on the Roof.’ I had to get dressed up with a jacket and bowtie. I remember her saying, ‘You have to sit still, and you can’t make noise because this is live and they can hear you.’ It scared me! On the way out she said, ‘I have never seen you sit so still! I’m going to have to take you to more shows!’ At 9, I realized theater is what I wanted to do.

“I couldn’t sing or dance, but I intuitively guessed that there must be someone who’s in charge of all of the moving parts. I’d see shows on Broadway and touring shows on Long Island. I went to SUNY Oneonta and traveled into the city four times a year for a seminar from the [American] Theatre Wing about working in theater. One day, Isabelle Stevenson came up to me and said, ‘You’re here all the time. Are you in the business?’ I said, ‘No, but I’m desperate to get into it. I love theater!’ She told me about a new MFA [master of fine arts] program at Columbia University in arts management. I thought my interview there couldn’t have gone worse. They said, ‘It’s a very competitive program. Why should we admit you?’ I blurted out, ‘Because no one wants it more or will work harder than me.’ To my surprise, I was accepted!

I still get excited every time I see a theater and I watch people enter it.

“I shadowed a stage manager and interned in a box office and as Sheryl Lee Ralph’s assistant during ‘Dreamgirls.’ I got a job managing operations at Minetta Lane Theatre and worked my way up until I came on board ‘Jelly’s Last Jam’ as an associate. Thirty years later, I’m very proud of the work I’ve done, including ‘Kinky Boots’ and ‘Thoroughly Modern Millie.’ I’m bringing over ‘Life of Pi’ from London and working on the revival of ‘Here Lies Love.’

“I’m still that kid who can’t believe this is happening. Even after two Tonys, I think I suffered from impostor syndrome. I’m finally able to look at my shows and know I helped create wonderful stories that will live on. I’ve learned that I have the capacity to be anxious and effective at the same time and to face my fears. Someone mentioned retirement. I know it will be time to retire when I walk into a theater and I don’t feel a butterfly in my stomach. I still get excited every time I see a theater and I watch people enter it.”

Interviewed by Iris Wiener

‘I love interviewing people and I want to make this my career.’

North Shore

“I watched Nickelodeon a lot when I was younger, but I never imagined that I would be on the channel, and everything happened by chance! My dad, Adam Schefter, works as a sports journalist for ESPN, so I was born into a world of people who have careers in television and media. I’ve also grown up around a lot of sports, especially football and basketball. When I was 8 years old, a friend of my father’s asked me if I wanted to interview a football coach. I enjoyed that experience, and it led to me getting to interview coaches and players from bigger teams like the Patriots and the Lions.

I am planning on majoring in communications or journalism in college.

“Now, I am a correspondent on Nickelodeon’s ‘NFL Slimetime’! My most memorable interview so far has been with Tom Brady; he was so nice and polite! I also really liked interviewing Darren Waller and Austin Ekeler. Austin was like a kid in an adult’s body, and Darren was really deep. Miles Sanders was a more recent interview, and he is also one of my favorites because he is so nice. I really like to let the interviews flow naturally, even though I do try to work in the questions that my producers give me. My biggest gig to date was on Fox Sports, where I served as a special correspondent and spent six hours in the official NYC studio interviewing basketball coaches for a weekly segment that the network called ‘Dylan’s Sweet Corner.’

“I love interviewing people and I want to make this my career. I am planning on majoring in communications or journalism in college. I have also appeared in commercials, and I enjoy those gigs because commercials are not as stressful as interviews. If I mess up, the crew can just refilm the scene and there is no backtracking. I have also acted in some school theater productions and would consider acting on TV and movies. In the future, I would love to keep doing sports interviews — I really want to talk to LeBron James — but I would also like to branch out to celebrity interviews. I would love to speak with Olivia Rodrigo because I am a big fan of hers.”

Interviewed by Meagan Meehan

‘I’ve learned that I don’t have to hide parts of myself to be worthy of someone else’s love.’

Massapequa

“The first time I remember not liking how I looked was when I was 7. I tried to eat healthier and join sports. In middle school, the self-hatred became overwhelming.

“I had a lot of anxiety before going to school. By the end of seventh grade, I had an extreme dislike for myself. I skipped breakfast and worked out more.

“Then I wasn’t eating lunch. I wasn’t getting the results I wanted fast enough, so I began purging my dinner. In order to stop eating, you must hate everything about yourself.

“When ninth grade began, I was very malnourished. I told my friends that I had an eating disorder because I knew my parents had caught on and life was going to change.

“My parents brought me to a doctor who sent me to residential treatment. That means you live away from home in a house where you have 24/7 care. I didn’t think I was sick enough for it, but in hindsight, I know I needed that environment to get better. Then they sent me to a partial hospitalization program, which is like an eating disorder school.

If you feel like you need to do this, you should tell someone.

“In January, I returned to public school and attended an outpatient program. In March, COVID happened. I found that when I’m not left to my thoughts, I do really well, so I focus really hard on something, like sewing.

“I learned that I have an extreme perfectionist personality. I used to think no one will ever like me if I’m not a lawyer or a scientist. I never considered that I could pursue art.

“Afterwards, I realized there was never a reason to think that. I can do art and my parents will still love me. My mom suggested I go to a performing arts high school. Now I’m learning about all aspects of technical theater. I’m focusing on set construction and lighting design; we’ve also done special effects makeup, costumes and sound design.

“It’s the first time I have met people who are as passionate about things as me. I’ve learned that I don’t have to hide parts of myself to be worthy of someone else’s love.

“You can’t live your life restricting and purging. You either recover or die; there’s no other option. If you feel like you need to do this, you should tell someone. I still struggle with liking how I look, but I have so much that I don’t want to lose.”

Interviewed by Iris Wiener

‘The symptoms came on very strong and quickly, so I struggled to do typical daily tasks. Just making my bed was hard.’

Seaford

“When I was a sophomore in high school, for a few weeks, I had been feeling not myself, in some pain and not sure what was going on. After a few doctor visits, they sent me over to Winthrop [Hospital] and I was diagnosed there with lupus.

“It was a very quick diagnosis, which was actually a very positive thing because lupus is an unpredictable and confusing disease. It presents differently in everybody, and some people will go years without being diagnosed.

“I was very limited right after the diagnosis. The symptoms came on very strong and quickly, so I struggled to do typical daily tasks. Just making my bed was hard. I really couldn’t do any of the sports or activities I would normally do.

“I was feeling more of the mental aspects of it because I just couldn’t be my normal self. In high school, you’re worried about being with friends and going to sports practice. I just couldn’t really do that anymore, and now I had all these other worries with my health, so it took a toll on me.

“In the weeks and months after I was diagnosed, when I was still not physically up to doing much of anything, my sister had made these fleece blankets when she was at college. We got the idea that I would start making these blankets. It was a great activity and something for me to do that was low energy.

“We got the idea to start donating them because hospital blankets kind of suck. At first, it started with donating to pediatric patients, especially those with lupus, but then it expanded. Any case where people wanted some comfort, we had the blankets and we’ve made hundreds of them. It gave me something to do and was a way to give back when I couldn’t do as much.

“Thankfully, over that summer going into junior year, I met the current doctor that I see at the Hospital for Special Surgery. She really changed my whole regimen around and got me back to where I was able to participate in sports and I was able to basically live my normal life.

“So now I’m not really in a remission, but just more regulated, and I’m still able to do mostly everything that I want to. There are still some bad days and tough times, but over all, now I know how to manage it and I have a great support system, my family and friends.”

Just being able to represent Make-A-Wish, tell my story and benefit other kids that are going through that process meant a lot.

“My Make-A-Wish was granted my senior year, soon after I started seeing my doctor at the Hospital for Special Surgery. She was the one that recommended me for the wish, and I talked also with the social worker at the hospital.

“I qualified for the wish since I had a chronic illness that affected the quality of my life. When we heard about it, my family was very apprehensive to take it. But eventually my doctor was like, ‘You have had some tough times. Take the wish.’

“It was a series of back-and-forth with what I wanted to do. Obviously, this is something that is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, so I wanted to really capitalize on it and pick something that was very memorable and would not be able to do if it were not for the wish.

“After some research, my mom was really the one that proposed the idea of meeting Pope Francis. In the fall of my junior year, I met my wish makers. It took about a year for everything to get organized and set in stone. In October of 2018, we had five days in Rome and then on Halloween, I met the pope.

“Everything about that trip was just incredible. It was something that especially during the rougher times just gives you hope. That is a huge part of Make-A-Wish, giving me something to look forward to and experience for not just me, but my whole family, too. They’ve also been through it. Maybe they are not feeling the physical illness that I feel, but the different doctors and hospital visits, and all the things that come along with it. It held a lot of meaning to me, since my faith is so important to me.

“It was over spring break 2021 that I was approached by the manager of the Wish Alumni program at Make-A-Wish. She reached out to me and proposed this idea that they had for the gala to have two Wish Alumni host it. Immediately, I said yes.

“Just being able to represent Make-A-Wish, tell my story and benefit other kids that are going through that process meant a lot. I think they raised over $1.7 million through the gala, so it was just a huge success. It meant a lot that I could be part of that because the organization did so much for me. To be able to contribute on the other side and help with the donations and spreading awareness really meant a lot.”

Interviewed by Victoria Bell