‘Writing poetry helped me deal with the anger, sorrow, and grief that come with a life-altering illness.’

Sea Cliff

“When I was playing halfback for the New York Jets in the early 1970s, I had never heard of CTE [chronic traumatic encephalopathy], the often-degenerative neurological disease that afflicts football players after they retire. I learned the hard way when in 2016, at 65, I collapsed in the gym. I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. I have not been the same since. A wheelchair became a necessary means of transportation. I fell into deep despair.

“One summer day in 2017, I woke up in the morning with a sense of urgency. I had a visceral feeling that I was slipping away and had an intense desire to document what my life has meant to me. I wanted to confront my fears and express the grief that was roiling within me.

“I started writing in a journal and then composing essays. I found the process to be cathartic. Eventually, in addition to prose, I decided to try poetry. The lyrics of Leonard Cohen inspired me to begin morphing prose into poems and poems into songs.

My illness has certainly changed my life.

“Writing poetry helped me deal with the anger, sorrow and grief that come with a life-altering illness. To inspire others, I collected some of these writings into a book called ‘Head Hits I Remember: My Brain, Dysautonomia and Football.’

“For the past five years, I have been working with a physical therapist, and she has made a world of difference in my ability to function. While I can no longer climb mountains like I used to, I can usually walk distances with my titanium hiking poles. My endurance and balance have improved significantly. In my personal life, I sing publicly, meditate, care for three rescue cats, eat mindfully, sleep well and get the right amount of exercise. Plus, I have the perfect wife in Victoria!

“My illness has certainly changed my life. I have, in effect, reinvented myself. Instead of traveling the world, I am walking on our patios and exploring local trails. But there is a bright side. If I had not become ill, I would not be as sensitive to the beauty of ordinary things, the small miracles of life we often take for granted. I have accepted my ‘new normal’ and have discovered that there are silver linings to even the most difficult of circumstances. I am thankful for all I still can do and have learned to do!”

Interviewed by Saul Schachter

‘I’m one of the old guys now, and all this stuff I do, I’m ready to pass the baton, but I have to find the right kid.’

Massapequa Park

“Car shows, meetups — I’ve been going since I was a baby. I was born in East New York, then moved to South Ozone Park when I was 9; I’m 69 now. My love for cars started with my dad. When I was like 6, back then on Sundays they had blue laws, and all the stores would be shut. My dad, he and the guys would tune up their cars and then take me out with him to Long Island, where they would race in parking lots. But there’s more, like when my dad showed me how to adjust carburetors; I mean when I was like 9! He’d say, ‘Turn the screw this way,’ and the car would shake, and then he’d say, ‘So now you have to give it more fuel.’ … He taught me things like that. I think that’s where it started.

“I married my childhood sweetheart; we’ve been together 55-60 years. We started a family and in 1994 moved to Massapequa Park, but I never lost my love for cars along the way. It’s what I breathe, it’s what I bleed, like my father before me. I’m talking about the car hobby itself, and everything I get involved with, I do for free. Even before ’94, I said, ‘We should organize shows for free,’ and we started by getting together with friends at spots in Queens and out here [on Long Island], and then it grew. We organized together. We would find a spot, do a free show. Some people don’t do it for free, but I’m not looking to make money on these things. Like I said, it’s a lifestyle.

I’m ready to pass the baton, but I have to find the right kid…

“I’m retired, and we could all use money, but like I said, it’s what I breathe, it’s what I bleed. Me and my guys, we also judge cars and give out trophies at some of the car shows we do, but we’ve also been doing one at the Oak Beach Inn parking lot Sundays for over 20 years, and there’s no judging there; we all just go for the hobby. You might see a million-dollar car, you might see a $200 car that’s still being worked on. For the people who come down, it’s their passion, just like me.

“I’m one of the old guys now, and all this stuff I do, I’m ready to pass the baton, but I have to find the right kid: a young guy that’s going to do what I did so I can sit back and enjoy myself instead of running around like a hot potato. I need someone who wants to try to be a real, true ‘rodfather’ like me. Not for money — for the hobby, for our lifestyle.”

‘The ambulance came and had to do the Jaws of Life to get me out of the car.’

Seaford

“I went for a weekend away with my friends to Rochester to stay at a friend’s house and have a home-cooked meal. I went to Buffalo State. When we were driving back to Buffalo, I was in the backseat of the car on the right side. An 18-wheeler tractor-trailer ran a red light and T-boned right where I was sitting. The ambulance came and had to do the Jaws of Life to get me out of the car. I was pronounced dead at the scene. I was in a coma for a month. This happened Feb. 12, 2010, and I woke up March 11 [2010].

“My mom was there the day I woke up. I don’t remember it. She said I was able to blow a kiss and track her around the room with my eyes. But I don’t remember waking up. I only remember waking up when I got to Mount Sinai Hospital. They had to take me on a medical jet to New York City from Rochester, and one of the guys on the plane was an EMT that was at the scene of the accident. He thought I died.

“I get to Mount Sinai, and I was there for about two months and started all my therapies. I was still comatose. I had a lot of surgeries. I was in the hospital for 10 months straight. I got out of the hospital and did outpatient therapy.

“I decided to go back to school. Everyone said I wouldn’t be able to do it because of my brain injury. Of course, I pick Hofstra University, which is not the easiest one. I went there and took classes part time. It took me five years to graduate in 2016. In 2017 I got a job, and I work as a part-time receptionist now. My whole life changed. On top of that, two years ago, I had thyroid cancer.”

People don’t know how to approach people with disabilities or how to help them.

“It was hard because I always was independent growing up. I was also young. I was only 20, 21. All my friends were going out and doing things, and I couldn’t’ do any of that. I was in the hospital. I didn’t think my life was done. That was not the end for me.

“I worked really hard in therapy. I still go to therapy, and I walk with a walker because my balance isn’t good. But from where I was then to now is completely different. It was insanely hard to get to this place. When you’re going through it, you’re so confused. Even today, I still get days like, ‘Why did this happen?’ I just try to push as much as I can.

“I had to relearn everything — talking, eating, things you take it for granted. I’m a fall risk, meaning I could fall at any time. And when I fall, it’s hard for me to get up. So I’m usually not alone. I had a left temporal lobe injury, but I had a broken skull, so it was called a global brain injury. It takes time to recover from a brain injury; your whole life is going to be recovery after it.

“I go to therapy. We talk about a lot of things that have happened in the past. I have PTSD from it and a lot of anxiety from the accident. I don’t drive anymore. If I’m in the car and a big truck comes by, years ago I would have a mental breakdown. But now I get a little nervous; but it’s better. I work on it through therapy. I have a good support system at home.

“I feel bad because when I was younger and would see someone with a disability, and you don’t try to get to know them. Because I have one now, there’s a lot to know about. People don’t know how to approach people with disabilities or how to help them.”

I never thought I could meet someone that would not look at me differently because I was disabled.

“After my accident, I kept saying I’m never going to meet someone. It was really hard for me to make friends. Young guys don’t want to take the time to understand someone. They see the walker, and they want to run away. That’s not the normal view of young girls. I met Sean five and a half years ago. I told him, ‘I want to let you know that I do walk with a walker, and I was in a major accident. I might need help getting up and down the steps. Just make sure I don’t fall.’ And he’s like, ‘OK, no problem.’

“When Sean picked me up, my parents grilled him. They were like, ‘Where are you going?’ They took down his license plate. When he took me home, after our first date, he called me back. I was like, ‘What? He’s calling me back?’ We started dating, and now we’ve been dating since 2017. We got engaged last year and now we’re getting married at the aquarium in Riverhead. I never thought I could meet someone that would not look at me differently because I was disabled.

“Since I went through all of this, and diagnosed with cancer two years ago, me and Sean went through that whole thing during COVID. The fact that someone stood by my side throughout this whole thing — a lot of people would just run away — it’s nice to find someone like that.

“I never thought that I was going to be able to settle down with someone. I’m getting married. I have a family, I have a house, I have a job. Everything’s falling into place. It just takes time.

“I hope my story helps other people. Who knows? Maybe 10 other people in Long Island have a brain injury and they’re young and they’re struggling, they don’t have an outlet to reach out to other people. When I was going through it, there was no one my age. How do I talk about the problems I’m having with an 80-year-old? If I could help other people around my age, they’d feel a lot better.”

Interviewed by Tracey Cheek

‘You always have to do your best whether you win, lose or draw.’

Central Islip

“I was born in Amityville but raised from a young age in Brentwood in a hardworking blue-collar family. My mom is from Emporia, Virginia, which is very Southern. She raised me, my brother and two sisters while she was attending night school, and when she became a nurse, she was the nurse for the whole neighborhood. Before anyone went to the hospital, they would go to see her first.

“My dad, who had several jobs, including working as a truck driver, was very involved in community youth sports programs. He’d drive around the neighborhood, and if you were up to no good, he would tell you, ‘Get in the car, you’re going to be part of the team.’

“I always liked playing sports, but my younger brother was a much better athlete than I was. I played Pop Warner Little League like anybody else. I was good, but never the best. My dad instilled in me the work ethic that you always have to do your best whether you win, lose or draw. I became a lineman on the high school football team, but my college choice was different from everybody else I knew who wanted to play professional football.

“I elected to go to Nassau Community College [NCC] instead of applying to a Division 3 college. Nassau had one of the best junior college football teams in the country when I went there.

“At NCC, I was a National Junior College All-American as an offensive line guard and tackle. Completing my associate’s degree allowed me to transfer with a full scholarship to Georgia Tech, a top Division 1 school where I played for two years.

“At 6 feet, 4 and a half inches tall, I was a short lineman. I wasn’t one of the players expected to get drafted into the NFL. I even hurt my knee during my senior year, though I did come back to play the last two games of the season. I wasn’t on the NFL’s radar, but one day my trainer said a scout was coming to look at us.

“I made sure that if the guys they were looking at were doing a 40-yard dash or lifting weights, I was nearby doing it, too. It got me noticed. The scout wanted to know who was this guy going all out? I went from possibly not being drafted to being the first one drafted from Georgia Tech that year, in the fifth round, by the Pittsburgh Steelers.”

I was told I was never going to walk again.

“My NFL career was marked by triumphs — and also injuries, which continue to impact my health. After the Green Bay Packers signed me to their active roster in 1994, and during my three and a half years there, I was lucky enough to break into the starting lineup.

“When we won the Super Bowl in 1997, defeating the New England Patriots — that was just before the Tom Brady era started — it was amazing. It was surreal.

“My mother, my father, family and friends all went to New Orleans. Not just being in a Super Bowl, but also winning, that was a dream come true that very few people get to experience. I wear that Super Bowl ring with a lot of pride.

“I finished my NFL career with the San Francisco 49ers, and my professional career playing two years for NFL Europe’s Barcelona Dragons and three years for the Canadian Football League Hamilton Tiger-Cats. Then I found myself in my early 30s — moved back into my childhood bedroom, coming off my second knee surgery, experiencing my first bout of depression — thinking, ‘What am I going to do now?’

“The first job I took after my football career was maintenance at an assisted living facility. I went from the Super Bowl to cleaning a toilet, and that was very humbling. But it goes back to the work ethic my parents taught me —you are never too good to do what you need to do.

“Within a year, I was running the maintenance department, and slowly but surely, people stated to realize who I was, and it was like a celebrity being there. One day, we had a gas leak in the building, and I carried a lady down a flight of stairs and hurt my back. I thought I had just tweaked a muscle.

“With my athletic background, I kept going, but weeks went by and it didn’t get better or worse. I figured I needed therapy, so I took off from work to do some light physical therapy. That didn’t work, and neither did aggressive physical therapy.

“About six months later, I started declining and was paralyzed from the waist down. I had no feeling below my waist, I was urinating on myself, and that led to emergency surgery to stop the paralysis from spreading. I was told I was never going to walk again. That probably sunk me lower than I’ve ever been.”

I wanted to do more for the community. I decided to start my own nonprofit.

“I was at home, on the internet, and I saw a world-known speaker who is a quadriplegic. He was telling able-bodied people how to live life, and the message I got was that if you want to get over your own problem, help someone else with theirs.

“I volunteered at Big Brothers Big Sisters, mentoring a 6-foot-four, almost 300-pound 14-year-old young man who had fallen into bad habits. His life turned around. It was therapy for me just as much as it was for him. I started wiggling my toes, feeling pain but also getting my strength and mobility back.

“I wanted to do more for the community. I decided to start my own nonprofit, Dream 68 Inc. I became an active member of the board of the Long Island chapter of the American Red Cross, where I learned what it takes to run a nonprofit organization, everything from fundraising events to keeping the books.

“Every year for about a decade, Dream 68 Inc. has fed hundreds of people on Thanksgiving. I work closely with shelters where there’s a need for toys and clothing. A lot of people like to give during the holidays, but people have needs year-round, and we try and fill that void.

“I recently had my first major fundraiser. I got my real estate license as a means to donate back to charities through every transaction. Last year I published a book, ‘Reflections of a Champion.’ My co-author and I had gone to speaking engagements at VA hospitals across the country, where we got veterans dealing with PTSD and in amputee units to play flag football to get their minds off what they are going through.

“On my first trip to Milwaukee, at an autograph signing, a gentleman came up to me with a helmet I’d worn, which he had bought. I signed it and gave it back to him. He said, ‘I see it means more to you than me,’ so he gifted it to me. It was such a powerful trip that I felt compelled to put it on paper.

“We started writing during the pandemic, and next thing we had 20 chapters. We wanted to make it a purposeful book, not telling people what to do, but what works for me. It’s not a football book, but there are football stories in there. It’s about overcoming adversity. It’s going to make you laugh, cry and play on your heart strings.”

Interviewed by Jim Merritt

‘When I had my third child, we learned he had cerebral palsy and that he would need full-time care. I quit my job to be with him.’

Elmont

“I was born in India and studied botany. I was engaged to my husband who was living in New York. In 1987, I followed him here so we could get married.

“I wanted to study microbiology when I got here, but couldn’t do it because of the cost. I didn’t know about financial aid then. I got my green card and became a teacher. I was teaching Islamic studies at the same school my kids went to.

“In 2000, when I had my third child, we learned he had cerebral palsy and that he would need full-time care. I quit my job to be with him. Oh my God, I cannot imagine a day without him. He’s everything to me. When you have a child like this, it’s really special. It’s been special.

“I hadn’t had a baby like this, so I didn’t know how to act. It was very difficult for me. I couldn’t understand if I was doing anything right or wrong. We would rush to the ER often. I would sometimes wake him up thinking he looked blue, but he wasn’t. I was so scared. He suffered from very bad seizures.

There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

“As time went by, the seizures became less and less. He now hasn’t had a seizure in almost seven years. I’ve noticed over the years that his level of understanding is much better now compared to before. I see that he’s more into things as he grows. Usually you think you would deteriorate, right? But with him, I see him being able to understand more and more. There are times when he watches movies and laughs at the punchline. His therapists agree, there is so much that he understands. That means a lot to us.

“Last year, we got to see him graduate from BOCES. His teacher, Ms. Diane, was so wonderful. God, I loved her so much. When we’d bring him to school, all the kids would be excited to see him. It was a very special moment. He was loved so much.

“I come from a very small town in India, and maybe some people won’t even know where it is, but thank God for the education my parents gave me. When I came to America, thank God, I could stand up for myself. There are so many things I stood up for, you know? Sometimes, I think, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I did that.’

“We have a good life in New York, all of us. I love my family. We’ve learned that there is always hope. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.”

Interviewed by Maggie Melito

‘The first day I wore my hijab into school, my gym teacher gave me a zero and made me sit on the bench.’

Woodbury

“I’m an Asian Muslim woman, a proud mom of six kids. My oldest just graduated from medical school and got engaged. My parents are from Pakistan. l was born in Queens, but we moved upstate to a rural area where there were not only no Muslims, but there were also no minorities.

“I got more involved in my religion probably when I was in the 10th or 11th grade. At the time, the Bosnia-Herzegovina war was going on. I started to learn about that war, to understand what Islam meant, and began wearing my head covering. You usually don’t start until you reach maturity. My parents were religious, but my mom didn’t wear the hijab. She was very supportive when I started wearing it, but she didn’t wear it.

“The first day I wore my hijab into school, my gym teacher gave me a zero and made me sit on the bench. She said, ‘You can’t play with that thing on.’ I loved my school, and all of the sudden I was traumatized. Needless to say, I had no one to advocate for me. I didn’t want to tell my parents. They had a language barrier, so I knew they couldn’t advocate for me, and I couldn’t advocate for me. I wish I was the type of person who could say, I’m going to go to the principal or I’m going to start a petition. Instead, I just took it off. The following year, in 12th grade, I had the courage to put it back on; it took me a whole year. I didn’t have that gym teacher anymore so it was easier.

“I think I realized I wanted to be able to organize, I wanted to be able to create awareness about my religion, my community, and help marginalized people because of what I went through. It wasn’t just that day, it was continuous. That was a pivotal moment in my life where I realized what I wanted to do, and it was to normalize different marginalized communities so they don’t feel like they’re second-class citizens or they don’t feel like they don’t belong. We all belong here.

‘I saw changes happening. You could see the needle shifting where you could help your community become normalized, you could celebrate diversity within the community.’

“I ended up going to Hofstra University for my bachelor’s and master’s. I got married to someone from Long Island, so I just stayed after college, first in Valley Stream, now I live in Woodbury. I got my master’s in education and was a biology teacher. I taught for one year, then I got pregnant.

“I had babies for a while. When I finally thought I was going back after my daughter was in pre-K, I got involved with a couple of campaigns for local politicians. I was ready to go, finally ready to do something and just about to start my doctorate program. I met some people in government and they said, Why don’t you try working here part time? I ended up working for the town clerk of Hempstead two days a week, and just fell in love with it.

“I saw changes happening. You could see the needle shifting where you could help your community become normalized, you could celebrate diversity within the community. I fell in love with it right away. Once I started working full time for [Nassau] County Executive Laura Curran, I saw there was a big disparity within the Asian community on Long Island.

“There’s no infrastructure for that community. People just believe all Asians are OK, they’re well off, they don’t need services, and that’s not the case. I saw it over and over again in government; when you’re talking about minorities, when you’re allocating resources, the Asian community is not included. When I was looking for community groups, there were none, and that’s when I realized I wanted to create some sort of organization that does research on the AAPI [Asian American Pacific Islander] community.

“When Laura Curran lost the election, I pivoted. I think it was the next day. I wanted to create an organization that operates on its own. I talked to a lot of people and eventually came up with the Asian American Institute for Research and Engagement. We work with different universities, different organizations; we’re almost like an umbrella organization. We use research as our basis; the numbers are telling our story.

‘The American population doesn’t even have the basics about what countries Asians are from, what languages they speak … You’re dealing with the fastest-growing population in America.’

“Anti-Asian discrimination has always been there over time in our history; it’s just amplified. It happened on September 11 with the Muslim community, actually the entire South Asian community. The same thing happened with the COVID pandemic. The East Asian community was attacked, not just the Chinese community. It stems from a lack of awareness, from comments that were made at the time. People were afraid.

“Our survey showed 68 percent of Asians felt some sort of discrimination at some point. That’s a huge number. If 68 percent of your population is feeling uncomfortable, that they don’t belong, that they fear discrimination, that’s a problem. We need to figure out solutions.

“The American population doesn’t even have the basics about what countries Asians are from, what languages they speak. Those are the things we have to educate our communities about. You’re dealing with the fastest-growing population in America, but no one really understands the population.

“Last year, we fielded a project on anti-Asian hate and Asian attitudes toward it. Now we’re working on a program to integrate Asian American history into mainstream classes. For example, when you’re talking about American history you can mention Asian American people who have influenced the civil rights movement or talk about the Chinese railroad workers. You can talk about Islam and how it’s affected algebra or chemistry, or even just the fact that the cap and gown originated from Muslims. All these things should be in our curriculum; it would solve so many problems.

“This summer, we want to focus on language access, because our poll showed language was a barrier. People can speak English, but they’re not proficient, and that makes a big difference. For the Asian immigrant population, even if they’re educated, they have a certain level of comprehension.

“On Long Island, we want to prove that there is this language proficiency issue and that it’s affecting services from health care, schools, the government. We don’t want it that every time you go to the doctor or your child’s school, your child is translating for you. That happens a lot. We want to be the voice of Asians on Long Island.

Interviewed by Barbara Schuler

‘I was always interested in music. I started singing in church a little bit growing up.’

Lynbrook

“I was always interested in music. I started singing in church a little bit growing up, and I met my first voice teacher that way, Julia Sergey. I remember after seeing Wicked’s ‘Defying Gravity,’ on Broadway, I was like, ‘Performing is incredible.’ I had this feeling of ‘I want to do this. I want to be onstage.’

“From then on out, I was always involved in my elementary school drama club, and then it became more serious. I’ve been a cantor at church since I was 12. Once I was in high school, I did all of Sacred Heart Academy’s theater programs. It was really exciting when I played Belle in ‘Beauty and the Beast’ my sophomore year, and I went on to do other leading roles in that.

“I’ve been in several summer programs at the Manhattan School of Music, Broadway Artists Alliance, LIU’s Summer Honors Institute for musical theater, the Oyster Bay Music Festival and the Queens Summer Vocal Institute. When I was 15, I started studying both classical and musical theater styles with my current voice teacher, Tammy Hensrud. Now, I’m a senior vocal performance major with minors in drama and musical theater.

I am passionate about a lot of different areas of theater and bringing stories to audiences who want to watch.

“At Hofstra, I feel I have the opportunity to really grow my classical voice and my interest in opera. I always knew I loved musicals and being onstage, but at Hofstra, I had the opportunity to be in several operas. This year, I just performed the lead role of Sesto in ‘La Clemenza di Tito.’ I feel it gave me an opportunity to really feel some growth vocally. Something else that I really loved being a part of at Hofstra is different ensemble works like chorale and chamber choirs as well as opera scenes.

“Everyone who’s a vocal performance major has to do recitals. I did one honors recital last year when I was a junior, and then I did my junior recital. For my senior year, I was very honored to receive the William B. Rosencrans Honors Recital, the highest-level recital for vocalists awarded to one person by the faculty.

“Now, I’m going to grad school at the Aaron Copland School of Music at Queens College. I’m just excited for the future. Opera is a very specific track, but I am passionate about a lot of different areas of theater and bringing stories to audiences who want to watch.”

Interviewed by Victoria Bell

‘A lesson that I’ve learned since being here in New York is that when you care and love people, those people care about and love you.’

Babylon

“I moved here from Italy about seven years ago. My mother was born in Brooklyn, but my grandfather moved back to Sicily when she was at a very young age.

“My parents and I used to come visit relatives and visit New York City and Long Island. During these visits, we fell in love with New York, and that’s why we eventually decided to move here.

I feel the Long Islanders I’ve met have had an immense impact on my life, and together, we seem to all work very well.

“I found my job as a wine-bar manager after moving here, pretty much right away, and have been working very hard almost every day since.

“A lesson that I’ve learned since being here in New York is that when you care and love people, those people care about and love you. I encounter so many people here daily and being that I became an adult here in New York, I’ve developed as a person and have grown to realize this.

“So many Long Islanders are so welcoming and just appreciative in general. I’m accepted here as who I am, and I love working within this community.

“If there is one thing I miss the most from Italy, it’s my grandmother’s unconditional love. It’s something that is hard to articulate, as it’s just a feeling. The way my grandma loves and treats me is incomparable.

“I feel the Long Islanders I’ve met have had an immense impact on my life, and together, we seem to all work very well. I am hopeful for the future. My main hope is that people who care and spread love will prevail over people who exploit others. I don’t know if this sounds naive, but one of the biggest dreams I have is to wake up every morning with a smile on my face.”

Interviewed by Maggie Melito

‘My father was always supportive of me and the best coach I had in life and in baseball.’

Ronkonkoma

“Back in 2009, when the country was in an economic recession, I was let go from my job. I was with that company for 10 years. A few months later, my father died of cancer. We knew it was coming, but we just didn’t expect him to go as soon as he did. It was a very difficult time, especially for my mother. There are still parts of the house she won’t touch, like the baseball and basketball trophies.

“My father would have my back no matter what I was doing. My father was always supportive of me and the best coach I had in life and in baseball. He coached me through Little League baseball. He would put his arm around me, pat me on the back and give me a hug. We even played together on the same softball team for a few years. He was very athletic and youthful for his age. He was 63 years old when he passed away, and up until the time of his diagnosis, he was playing basketball three nights a week with local guys in their 30s.

When I told my mother about the fundraising, she started getting choked up. She told me that my father would be so proud of me.

“He was actually diagnosed with cancer through a basketball injury. He got elbowed in the ribs and didn’t think much of it. After 10 days, the pain still wasn’t going away, so he went to the doctor. He thought it was just a bruise. They took an X-ray and found a mass on his lung. The doctor told him to thank the guy who elbowed him because he extended my father’s life by about two years. If he never got it checked out, he would have only lived about another three months.

“A few months before my father passed away, Tom — my cousin through marriage — and I launched our business, Hoopla Doopla, together. Tom and I are the tech gurus in the family. I was building and managing websites for a living. My cousin was a programmer. I’ve always had an entrepreneurial passion, and so we put our ideas together to create a bargain-hunting website.

“In honor of my father, I launched a program within the business to raise money for cancer. We donated part of our profits to the American Cancer Society in my father’s name. We had this going for over three years and raised tens of thousands of dollars. When I told my mother about the fundraising, she started getting choked up. She told me that my father would be so proud of me.”

‘The whole experience of going to a foreign land, and not knowing the language inspired me.’

Malverne

“When I was young, about 11, I went to Italy for the summer with my uncle. I was going to spend half the time in Puglia with his family, and half the time in Procida, a small island off Naples, with my father’s family. In Puglia, there were girls my age, and they spoke fluent English. I had a great time.

“When I got to Procida, my aunt and uncle didn’t speak any English, and I didn’t speak any Italian. My parents felt the situation would force me to learn the language and get to know my relatives, but I didn’t do either.

“I spent my first couple of days just reading on the balcony. The whole situation was odd, not being able to communicate. I pleaded with my uncle to pick me up;, I really didn’t want to stay. On the way back, he said, ‘But you didn’t even get to meet your cousins.’ He never said any more about that.

“I was in my late 40s when Facebook first arrived. I started looking for my cousins and actually found a bunch of them, cousins I’d heard about but never met. Ultimately, I discovered six first cousins and 10 cousins once removed.

I’ve been writing my whole life, but this is my first fiction.

“Since then, I’ve been there about 10 times. I’ve stayed in their homes, vacationed with them, gone to their children’s weddings. I feel like they’ve been part of my life since the beginning. What’s interesting is I have red hair. An Italian with red hair is not that common, but when I got there, four out of five cousins from one family all had red hair.

“The whole experience of going to a foreign land and not knowing the language inspired me to write a novel, ‘Where You End, I Begin.’ I’m a public relations strategist. I’ve been writing my whole life, but this is my first fiction. It doesn’t follow my story at all. It’s an independent story about two separate Italian families who come to the United States.

“The book is set in old-world Procida, which for the majority of its history was a sleepy fishing village overshadowed by neighboring islands. But the island has come into its own.

“Every year, Italy names a capital of culture, and last year it was Procida, and for good reason. The island is so picturesque and has a lot of history. The last time I was there, I saw lots of tourists, something I haven’t seen in the past decade and a half that I’ve been going there.”

Interviewed by Barbara Schuler