‘I started surrounding myself with women who had something going on, who had goals, who were inspiring other women, who were community leaders.’

Alexandra Velez, Brentwood

“When I was 14, my dad decided we were moving from Brooklyn to Puerto Rico. His mom had moved a couple years prior to that, and he’s definitely what we call a mama’s boy. I lived there for 11 years, I went to high school and did some college in Puerto Rico.

“I will be honest, I disliked my parents for the first few months of being in Puerto Rico. However, as the years went by, when I think back, I was blessed — there were beaches and sun year-round. My friends in New York were in a foot of snow, and I was at the beach. And I’m also very grateful because that helped me become bilingual; it just took me a little bit to get to that way of thinking.

The feeling is of a big family, whether it’s a lunch gala or a vision board, this is your home.

“When we moved to Puerto Rico, my dad started his own business; he took over a supermarket. That helped me get interested in business, marketing, becoming comfortable speaking to people, being comfortable with money. Many people don’t feel comfortable with money. It showed me a different world., I was extremely shy, and it took me out of my shell.

“I moved back when I was about 25. I moved out to Long Island to start a family and raise our two daughters, and little by little, the rest of my family came back. At some point, having gone through a traumatic separation, I was in a dark place. I was tired of being negative, I was tired of being in a bad mood, I was tired of not having anything to look forward to, even though I had two beautiful daughters. There were times when I wanted to give up on everything.

“One day I was, like, ‘I need something better.’ I started surrounding myself with women who had something going on, who had goals, who were inspiring other women, who were community leaders. When I was in Puerto Rico, I did a couple of events with friends. I thought, ‘Why not try it here?’ I wanted to do an event to bring women together, a day of inspiration, a day that just highlighted women.

“From that luncheon in March 2016, Flutterflies was born. The feeling is of a big family, whether it’s a lunch gala or a vision board, this is your home. Flutterflies started as a women’s empowerment organization. However, really, the message is for everyone, no matter the sex.”

Interviewed by Barbara Schuler

‘The programs I went through are meant to give opportunities to people who come from different cultural or socioeconomic backgrounds.’

Julie Ansanelli, Amityville

“When I told my guidance counselor in high school that I wanted to apply to NYU, she told me not to bother. Against her advice, I decided to apply anyway. My parents didn’t make a ton of money, and I knew they couldn’t afford to pay out of pocket for me to go there. But my aunt had a friend who went to Columbia through this program that helped economically disadvantaged and diverse applicants pay for college. NYU had the same program, so I applied, was accepted and began my time at NYU, which was nothing short of amazing.

“Senior year, I took the LSAT, and my scores were not great, but good enough to pursue law school since I had a strong GPA. I decided to go to Touro Law on Long Island, which was the best decision ever. I loved my professors, my classmates and the education I received there. I even graduated [as] valedictorian.

“At Touro, our career services director suggested I apply to the New York City Bar Diversity Fellowship Program, which gives diverse applicants an opportunity to work at big law firms. It was a rigorous application process, and they only pick a few students from each school.

I’m lucky to have an amazing support system that allows me to work while also being the best mom I can be.

“I was chosen for the fellowship and placed at my current firm. I had no idea what this world even was because it never seemed like a possibility for me, but I was elated. In the beginning, I remember feeling insecure because everyone around me came from top law schools — Harvard, Yale, etc. But when they made me a full-time offer, it was really validating. I think I always knew I was as capable as my peers from top law schools, but knowing that my firm agreed really crystallized that for me.

“The programs I went through are meant to give opportunities to people who come from different cultural or socioeconomic backgrounds. I think that’s important because if every person at any job comes from the same background, you’re not going to have enough diversity of thought and perspectives. Without that, it’s extremely hard to have progress and growth.

“When my husband and I had our two kids, my priorities changed. I’m so proud of the work-life balance we have. I’m lucky to have an amazing support system that allows me to work while also being the best mom I can be.”

Interviewed by Maggie Rose Melito

‘I hope that I can bring awareness to breast cancer.’

Mary Pallotta, Dix Hills

“Just before the pandemic, I missed my annual mammography. I was taking care of my mom, who had a stroke, and she needed me. I learned that I had breast cancer and needed a double mastectomy. I’ve been through a lot in my life. Born with one kidney, I had multiple surgeries and needed to relax, because the anxiety one goes through when being diagnosed with breast cancer, I couldn’t breathe.

“I created the Guardian Brain Foundation over 20 years ago after losing my brother to brain cancer, then my father to sporadic Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. I’ve seen and been through a lot. I’m so used to being there for other people. I had a very hard time being on the other side.

I hope that other women do their research and realize there are different options that they can take.

“So I did my research, and I found a wonderful team of doctors on Long Island. Dr. Randall Feingold introduced me to Molly Sugarman, a clinical director of the Patient Empowerment Program at NYBRA Plastic Surgery. She helped me through deep breathing, guided imagery and meditation. It was such a gift. It helped me broaden my view.

“I decided to do DIEP Flap Microsurgery, which I’m very happy about. It’s been a long and difficult journey. My surgery was nine and a half hours long. When I woke up in ICU, the nurses said, ‘My God, you are breathing so good!’ They were laughing. I was talking up a storm.

“I started to put all my efforts into my art. Art is my passion, and it’s my healing. I’ve always done oil and acrylic and sculpture but wanted to try something new. I met this wonderful art teacher, Jan Guarino. She does classes online. It was extremely therapeutic for me. One day I might like painting hydrangeas. The next day I’ll be painting scenes from Italy. It depends on my mood. I love painting the water, sailboats and ships. It’s just amazing the watercolor, how it drips, and the colors blend together. It’s kept me busy.

“I can’t believe how many paintings I’ve done. I’ve been able to sell, fund-raise and get commissions for my work. I’m having a wonderful time doing it. I feel exposed, but I’m enjoying it. I love to hear what people say.

“I hope that I can bring awareness to breast cancer. I hope that other women do their research and realize there are different options that they can take. Find a hobby; it really helps healing. Try watercolor. You never know. You might want to stick with it.”

Interviewed by Shoshanna McCollum

‘He proposed to me in front of my whole friends and family, which is everything I could have ever wanted.’

Kaitlyn Parnahay, Valley Stream

“We met freshman year of college through one of my best friends, Sarah. So, she gets all the credit for this because she introduced us to each other. She was like, ‘Oh, I have a friend named Peter.’ I was like, ‘OK, cool, I guess?’ And then he walked in the room, and I was like, ‘Oh, OK, Peter!’ That was the first time we met. Then about a year later, maybe more — I think sophomore year — we started dating officially.

“A lot of random things happen in between, but we were just talking to each other a lot and then we ended up together. Thank you, Sarah. We went to different colleges, but that was not an issue. We were still able to see each other. He grew up in Glen Cove, and I grew up in Valley Stream. So he was always coming over to me, and we hung out ’til like 4 a.m. every single night we were together.

He proposed to me in front of my whole friends and family, which is everything I could have ever wanted because he knows how much they all mean to me.

“Fast-forward to more recent times; he proposed to me in front of my whole friends and family, which is everything I could have ever wanted because he knows how much they all mean to me. So it was perfect. Somehow, they saw the ring, but I had no idea. I guess I am just that oblivious. I had literally no idea what was happening. I cried a lot.

“We are getting married next August at Sea Cliff Manor. We have a date. We are trying to do all the things for that. It is a really great time. It is super fun. We have our bridal and groom wedding parties. We are planning on living with each other this year. We kind of have a house; are basically renovating now in Wantagh.

“We definitely want children one day, just maybe before 30. We want a lot of pets. We both have pretty cool jobs, so those will hopefully be in our future for a long time. We are probably going to stay in Long Island forever because we were born and raised here, especially with all the boat stuff and water activities we do. Overall, we’re definitely excited for the future.”

Interviewed by Victoria Bell

‘I don’t know if I would’ve survived my early twenties if we didn’t explore all these different places on Long Island.’

Sabina Goetz, New Hyde Park

“I grew up in College Point in Queens, which is a small town. But my now husband, who I met in high school, grew up on the Queens side of Floral Park, and it made us fall in love with Nassau. I always felt like I half grew up there.

“We got married in February 2020, and, about a week later, we moved to New Hyde Park on the Nassau side. In the beginning it was hard for me as a native College Point kid. There were times I felt out of place.

“When I’d go to some of the more affluent parts of Long Island, I was still bringing that Queens loud music. My earrings were big, and I would get glared at and told to lower my music and that there were kids around.

If there’s a place out on the Island, we have seen it. And for all of Long Island’s faults, it has always brought me comfort.

“And I promise you, it was like not that loud nor inappropriate. But I think that’s the fun dichotomy. Where we live, we’re still in an industrial area, and there’s trucks everywhere, and we’re so close to the train station, so all of that tied together is comforting.

“I hope this doesn’t get me canceled, but I hated Billy Joel before I moved to Long Island. But we started going to Mr. Cheapo’s in Mineola, and we listened to his records there. I really listened and I fell in love with his music. Now I can say publicly, I love Billy Joel.

“We’ve made a point to explore the Island constantly. My husband loves Oyster Bay Brewing [Co.] and then getting fries from Bonanza’s [Stand]. There’s a certain magic on those nights where the air is just right, and you smell a bit like salt water, and you’re just baked from the heat, and it just feels really special.

“We love going to hike at Garvies Point or going to Muttontown. If there’s a place out on the Island, we have seen it. And for all of Long Island’s faults, it has always brought me comfort.

“I don’t know if I would’ve survived my early twenties if we didn’t explore all these different places on Long Island. I think that’s why it’s so comforting that we get to live here because it reminds me of the things that brought me the biggest peace in my life. We made it. We’ll be a part of it forever.”

Interviewed by Maggie Rose Melito

‘I think skateboarding is honestly all about pushing yourself to the limit physically and mentally.’

Jacqueline Testa, Babylon

“I grew up with an older brother that skated, and I thought he was the coolest. I wanted to be like him in any way possible, but I really didn’t start skating until after high school, when all my friends left for school and I didn’t really know what to do with myself.

“I think skateboarding is honestly all about pushing yourself to the limit physically and mentally. When you’re with people that do that all the time, you are forced to build deeper connections. If you’re willing to go out there every day, slam on concrete 50 times a day just in hopes to land a trick, you kind of have to be a different type of person. It’s easier to connect with those type of people for me.

If I saw myself now as a kid, I would be so happy and so proud and just so excited that I stuck with it, and it all came full circle.

“Everyone in the skate realm magically has another talent, so we had had this group of friends that were not only talented skaters, but talented just people in general. We began making all our art under the name ‘Sixth Cents,’ and it’s become an outlet to do all the things we love. We’ve been able to pursue passion through this name. That’s kind of just been the craziest and magical thing, seeing all your friends do what they love and be proud of it.

“We spent about two years filming ‘While I’m Here,’ which was a skate film. It was just filled with like almost every weekend going on trips with each other to go filming. Then the night of the premiere, it was so crazy to see the final product of something that we’d worked on for so long. The skateboarding community really showed up for us, and everyone had such kind words to share.

“It’s so easy to think now and say, ‘I wish I just would’ve gone to the skate park sooner’ because I wanted to, but I was so terrified. I think back then when I was younger, it was a little bit different, but the community on Long Island has changed so much and is extremely welcoming.

“I don’t know if the art we put out is special to other people, but it’s special to me because I’m recording the memories of my friends, and I always want to remember this. If I saw myself now as a kid, I would be so happy and so proud and just so excited that I stuck with it, and it all came full circle. I just am so grateful to know all these people, and I don’t take it for granted.”

Interviewed by Maggie Rose Melito

‘I never would have thought that my love for design could make a child at a hospital happy.’

Aliza Zilberberg, Cedarhurst

“I was following a girl on Instagram. Her mother was posting her journey of fighting leukemia. The girl got better, but one of the hardest parts about the girl’s journey was that the hospital room was boring and didn’t feel like home for her. I thought maybe there’s a way that I could take the thing that I love, which is art, and use it for something medical-related and help kids feel better while they’re fighting illness. My high school really helped me with pushing the Jewish concept ofchesed, giving.

“In 11th grade, I got COVID and was really bored. I opened a GoFundMe and started using the funds to buy room decor on Amazon, and I made kits. Each kit has a specific theme: unicorns, dinosaurs, galaxy and color themes for the older kids. Each bag has a blanket, stuffed animal and something to hang on the walls, like stars. We’ve sent three shipments to Mount Sinai South Nassau hospital, which was over 330 bags for all the kids in the hospital. It was really cool to see everything actually work and to hear the stories the head of the Child Life Department told me of how the kids reacted to the items. I really liked hearing that.

Anything you’re good at can be impactful if you’re passionate about it.

“For the younger kids, it was more to make the rooms a little bit less scary because the equipment is probably so terrifying. But for the older kids, it was more about the element of choice because everything’s out of their hands. These are kids staying in the hospital long term. I came up with the name ‘Make It Home’ as a cute double meaning because I wanted it to be, they’re able to make their hospital room home. But I also want them to make it home and get back to where they are.

“Just being able to pick which sort of package they want helps them to have a choice. Each shipment costs about $2,000, and each individual package costs about $20. I’ve gotten sponsors and donations.

“It’s so special to be able to help these kids, and it’s just amazing to hear the stories and to be able to feel like you’re making a difference. I never would have thought that my love for design could make a child at a hospital happy. Anything you’re good at can be impactful if you’re passionate about it.”

Interviewed by Liza Burby

‘I asked my guidance counselor, “Can you go to college for filmmaking?”’

Charles Foerschner, Massapequa

“I was a cameraman before I even knew it. I’d watch movies and be so moved and affected by them. For weeks I’d be acting like characters in them. I wanted to embrace the influence film had on me. I was always shooting stop motion with my G.I. Joe figures and making movies or TV shows with a small video camera.

“In high school, my friends would skateboard and surf. Instead of joining them, I’d show up with my camera. I did it because it was fun, not realizing it was art. I asked my guidance counselor, ‘Can you go to college for filmmaking?’ He recommended vocational high school, and later, Five Towns College. My professor, Sol Negrin, a big cinematographer, had connections in the IATSE Local 600. He helped push my career along, getting me an internship at Panavision. I met a bunch of camera people and eventually got my first job offer on ‘Law & Order: SVU.’

I’m so glad my obsession with film turned into something I could proudly make into a career.

“A lot has changed from when I started in the business 15 years ago. On set, sometimes you would have to fake it until you made it. If you couldn’t do it, they didn’t keep you. Now I have employees under me, and I constantly tell them there are no stupid questions. I want to create a department that is collaborative and respectful. I did seven seasons of ‘Elementary,’ which was an amazing place to grow and learn. I made such progress in my career on that show. Later, I worked on ‘The Gifted Man,’ and Jonathan Demme, who directed ‘Silence of the Lambs,’ directed the pilot! I did three years on ‘Power’ and ‘Power Book II: Ghost.’

“This all led to me working on ‘The Daily Show.’ I got a call that a long-running Comedy Central show was looking to staff some camera assistants to test new camera systems. They couldn’t tell us what show it was, but they said it was going to be a really good opportunity. Without even hearing that it was ‘The Daily Show,’ I knew I had to take it. Now it has been two years! I’m more confident and comfortable in my career at this point. I’ve learned that if I don’t know the answer to something, I’m going to ask for help or admit that I’m unfamiliar. That’s always met with positivity. I’m so glad my obsession with film turned into something I could proudly make into a career.”

Interviewed by Iris Wiener

‘Don’t be afraid to get tested; that’s the easiest part. Be afraid not to go! It could save your life.’

Pamela Giglio, Huntington Station

“I was the youngest of three sisters, so I figured I’d be the lucky one. My sister Melisande was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003. Then my other sister, Aurelia, was in 2011. In Melisande’s case, it was detected and treated early. Unfortunately, Aurelia didn’t win her battle.

“I was vigilant about going regularly for a mammography in conjunction with a sonogram. I was shocked when, in 2018 at age 64, I was diagnosed. I had no symptoms. It was devastating. Going into it, all three of us were post-menopausal, healthy people. I had tested negative for the BRCA gene.

“My sisters had ductal carcinoma in situ; I had invasive lobular carcinoma. I felt an amalgam of emotions, including fear and anger. I had done everything right! I realized my level of determination.

“My philosophy became to put one foot forward until I got to the end of the journey. You have to be strong and can’t always think about it. I had a lumpectomy and went for radiation every day for three weeks, first thing in the morning, and then I’d immediately go to work. I found the normalcy of the routine therapeutic.

“After my last treatment, they walked me out to the waiting room, and I hit a big gong. It was a salient moment. I started to cry. It wasn’t just out of happiness; I felt badly for the people in the waiting room who had a lot longer to go and who were probably a lot worse off. It was a poignant day that I’ll always remember. I was very blessed because I trusted my team of doctors, which was crucial.

“I was also fortunate to have my family, whose love was a testament to how special they are. I think about how, at 61, Aury realized she wasn’t feeling well and was brought to the emergency room. The cancer was so advanced that in less than a year she was gone.

“Mel was 56 and had a double mastectomy with TRAM flap reconstruction. [TRAM stands for transverse rectus abdominus muscle.] She’s a 20-year survivor. I’m five years out from my own experience and only need to take medication for two more years. Three sisters, same family, very different timelines. I can’t stress enough the importance of early intervention and early screening. Don’t be afraid to go; that’s the easiest part. Be afraid not to go! It could save your life.”

Interviewed by Iris Wiener

‘In the grand scheme of this terrible and wonderful universe, things have been messy for my family for hundreds of years.’

Tommi Grace Melito, Great Neck

“I’ve always loved research. Honestly, with the right attitude, anything can be a puzzle or a thrilling mystery. All through my career and graduate education, I’ve prioritized finding evidence to understand and unlock trends across history and present day.

“When my daughter was first born, I found myself on maternity leave, nursing, recovering from a C-section and crippling sciatica. For the first time in a lifetime, I was primarily stationed on my couch without a calendar full of meetings, just my sweet baby and my laptop.

“One day, my sister texted me asking if I could help her find information on a family member named Rocky, who had died mysteriously in the 1940s. That’s really how it all started.

“I found that first death certificate in the New York City municipal archives. In Rocky’s case, we thought his death was potentially newsworthy, so I also researched local newspaper databases.

“I learned Rocky suffocated in a coal yard accident in one of the coldest months of the year.

“After finding out the truth, I was drawn to find more death certificates, marriage licenses, baptismal transcripts, census records and military files of family members.

“With burgeoning empathy, horror, sorrow and wonder, I felt as though I was sitting in a bleacher watching the tragedies of triumphs of my ancestors play out before my eyes. I felt their presence reading about their suicides, the deaths of their infants, their poverty, and their attempts to begin again and create better lives for their children. Sometimes they succeeded; often they did not.

“In the grand scheme of this terrible and wonderful universe, things have been messy for my family for hundreds of years. All I can do is the best I can do, you know? Love my daughter unconditionally and make sure she knows where she came from. The only way to break the cycle is to acknowledge it. I found myself saying, ‘All is forgiven, all is forgiven.’”

Interviewed by Maggie Melito