‘I went to speak with my parents, and they saw I was only using half my face.’

Jacqueline Sullivan, Brightwaters

“It was the summer going into fourth grade, and I was 8. I didn’t know I was bitten by a tick. I was scratching at something and had a red mark on my thigh, but not a bullseye. I was complaining of leg aches and headaches, but my parents we’re like, ‘You’re fine, you’re fine.’ They dismissed it, but then one morning, I felt something trickle down my neck while I was brushing my teeth; it was toothpaste just dripping down on me. I went to speak with my parents, and they saw I was only using half my face. I had left-side facial paralysis and was diagnosed with Bell’s palsy as part of Lyme disease.

“I remember my doctor, who today is now my children’s pediatrician and is such a brilliant man, knew immediately it was a tick. I ended up in the hospital for a week or so, then had to receive antibiotics from an IV through a shunt right into the start of school, and I had to wear an eyepatch at night, as your eye can dry out if you can’t close it. I remember being very afraid going to school. I tried to hide the shunt from other students, as I didn’t want them to ask me any questions about it. I was already very scared, as it was the first year my twin sister and I were separated in school classes.

“Having an identical twin always meant people would compare how we looked, and this added another element to the whole Bell’s palsy thing. People would normally tell us apart before because I had a rounder face, but I became afraid people would think I was the twin with the weird face, the one who can’t move her face. I was feeling like I was the ‘sick twin,’ or people looking at her and then thinking that was what I was supposed to look like.

‘My doctor was so kind. I remember trying to understand why I was sick and what a tick bite could do. He explained that there was a bacteria inside the tick, that a ‘sick tick’ made me sick, and that it was something you can’t see. It blew my mind. It sparked my fascination with infectious diseases. It also led to my interest in skin care, as the skin is your first barrier against disease. It’s also the first thing everybody sees.”

‘I had never been self-conscious before but was left wondering what people thought when they saw me.’

“I majored in biology at James Madison [University] and got a job while in college with Estée Lauder, where I started to do skin research, but then I learned what a PA [physician assistant] is, and after I got my bachelor’s degree, I got my master’s in medical biology while working at Estée Lauder, and then, to combine everything in my field, I figured I should work with people, so I then went to Stony Brook for PA school and got my second master’s in physician’s assistant studies.

“I’m currently a PA at Good Samaritan Hospital in West Islip. I also work for a smaller cosmetic and aesthetic medicine company called Skin Clique, and I loved that this was an area of medicine where I could make people happy by helping their self-confidence, helping people who felt self-conscious about their faces with medical-grade skin care.

“One’s appearance affects people’s outlooks and psyches, including mine, ever since the day when my son once pointed something out to me about my appearance. After that, it was all I could see in the mirror. The facial paralysis had mostly resolved before fourth grade ended, and I thought I had been completely resolved for years. However, my son one day asked me why I looked different in pictures, and smiled like this. I just played it off, but I then asked people around me about my face and soon realized there were certain facial motions I couldn’t do symmetrically.

“As it turns out, when you age, the wrinkles and lines really start to show the loss of facial muscle function. I was getting unilateral wrinkles because the other side of my face wasn’t working. I had never been self-conscious before but was left wondering what people thought when they saw me. I thought I was done with Lyme disease, but aging and pictures and a different perspective made me realize all this is from that. It continues to drive me.”

‘I didn’t think that what happened defined me, even though now telling my story might make it sound like that.’

“I’ve since advised a few people who have dealt with Bell’s palsy like me. It’s so rewarding, because most patients I see in the hospital I don’t see again, but with my clients I see them a few times a year. I know their families, I get to know them, and I see the results and how it affects their confidence.

“I used to think people who did things like Botox and fillers and plastic surgery were all in the same category, but now I realize that the first thing you see, and everybody sees, is your face and skin. I think that if a fourth grader arrived in my office, suffering from what I did when I was their age, I could give them insight. I remember being very scared, and I appreciated how my doctor reassured me. I would let them know that things were going to be OK and that they were doing the right thing by seeking treatment.

“Kids get scared; they just know they’re in pain, and having a doctor providing some understanding just made it make sense for me, why I needed medicine and go through the process of getting an IV and shunt. I think kids don’t get enough credit that they can understand, and you should talk to them and offer a rationale just like you would an adult; let them know they can be brave and can do it. Make the kids feel like they can do it. Give them a chance to understand.

“Don’t ask, ‘Do you have any questions?’ Ask, ‘What questions do you have?’ I’d also point out that while this is something they’re suffering with now, it’s treatable, and it’s not who they are. I wouldn’t want them to feel like this defines them. I mean, I didn’t think that what happened defined me, even though now telling my story might make it sound like that. It’s taken me on my path, but I am very happy with who and where I am now. “Life is a journey, and I want to see where it’s all going to take me next. It’s tried to define me, but I won’t let it. I’ve become a happy person, and I want to make people happy with themselves too.”

Interviewed by Ian J. Stark