‘I’ve been dealing with bipolar disorder, which hasn’t been the easiest because I had to overcome suicidal ideations.’

GERALDINE SMITH, ELMONT

“I started in makeup about five to 10 years ago. I was in high school, and I saw a friend of mine who was really fascinated with it. Because she was heavily into makeup, it motivated me. I thought it was cool the way she could transform a person’s features and enhance her beauty. So, from there, I started practicing on other people, family members and close friends.

“I had mental struggles from when I was 17. I’ve been dealing with bipolar disorder, which hasn’t been the easiest because I had to overcome suicidal ideations. It was hard even sometimes with being around close relatives. There was a lot of relationship issues going around within my life. I think that’s what affected me to the extent where I didn’t even want to be here anymore because I felt I was at a place where nobody was able to really be there for me or really treat me right.

I take my passion and my clientele seriously.

“My mental health struggles did affect me when it came to my business. A lot of the times I would be very depressed and stressed out. I would have to put on a face like I was OK around clientele. I think that’s what made it hard because a lot of the times I was not OK. I would just suck it up and tell myself, ‘Well, I have to be strong about it.’ In reality, I was breaking down.

“But over time, I told myself this is something that I have to accept. Ever since I started to accept it, I started to realize there’s nothing really wrong with me. It’s just a matter of diagnosis. It doesn’t define me. It doesn’t make me a bad person. I just had to be strong about it.

“So, right now, my business name is @finessedbygee. I do have my business registered. I want to get back into being in a space. My goal right now is to get out of my parents’ home pretty much and into my own apartment, which I’m working on. Once I do that, I can focus on bringing in clients, doing makeovers and seeing my business take off.

“Ultimately, my goal is to be full time with the makeup. I would say it’s a career choice. I take my passion and my clientele seriously. I want to be able to get as much exposure as possible, so that way I can really excel when it comes to having a thriving business.”

Interviewed by Victoria Bell

‘At the age of 6, I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to fly. I wanted to see everything and be everywhere … What I settled for was to become a flight attendant.’

Vikki Panan, Elmont

“The events of 9/11 changed my life drastically. I’m the first in my family to be born in the United States. My family is from Trinidad and Tobago. My parents were going through a divorce, and it was very difficult for my mom because my parents had their own business. My dad left America and moved back to Trinidad, so I was in New York with my mom and my sister, and it was very hard for her with my dad no longer in the picture. She was used to working with my dad.

“When 9/11 happened, my mom was afraid for our safety, she feared that something would happen to me and my sister because of the way we looked. It’s kind of similar to what’s happening now. I’m not Muslim, but people tend not to be able to differentiate between people from India, people from Pakistan, from the Caribbean. It’s very hard for people who are not of those backgrounds.

“My mom sent us to Florida to live with relatives, but after two months, she made the decision to send us to live with our dad, so I was back in Trinidad and Tobago. I spent age 11 to 25 in the Caribbean, and during that time I found a huge appreciation for my culture. My dad was very proud of our background. He made sure that I knew about carnival and all the local food. I got my bachelor’s degree when I was in Trinidad, and then I started working in a call center for Caribbean Airlines; that was my first job.

“But when I was 25, I said as much as I love Trinidad, I need to get out, I need to spread my wings. I moved back to New York on my own and applied to Delta. It was good timing for me. I got hired quickly as a flight attendant. I don’t know if it was because I was seeing my parents not get along — and I’m pretty sure that’s what it was¬ — but I knew at a young age that I couldn’t sit around and have a family. I wanted to see the world. At the age of 6, I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to fly. I wanted to see everything and be everywhere. That’s where it started. What I settled for was to become a flight attendant. It’s wonderful. I’ve seen so much of the world, but there’s so much more I want to see.”

I’m making announcements saying, please help us, there’s a hurricane approaching, we need to go.

“Flying into Hurricane Irma in 2017 was a major point in my career, a video about it went viral. It was just supposed to be a turn for me, fly in to San Juan and come back to JFK. Going to San Juan, the flight was empty, about 20 people. When we got to San Juan, we only had about 20 minutes to turn the plane around–for the passengers to deplane, clean the plane and get around 180 new passengers back on board.

“That’s really fast, normally boarding alone takes 40 minutes, and now we’re trying to do a whole turn around in 40 minutes. It was hectic, I’m making announcements saying please help us, there’s a hurricane approaching, we need to go. That particular flight was the only flight that got in and out of San Juan during the hurricane. Some of the flight attendants were scared. One of them was crying, I told her it was ok, we wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t safe. You have to trust the pilots. It was a quiet flight, passengers clapped upon landing. The pilot hugged me. It was a wonderful feeling of accomplishment.

“I enjoy where I’m at right now. Recently I took on the role of purser, a more managerial position. I manage a group of eight to 10 flight attendants on trans-oceanic flights. I have to be sure everyone does what they’re supposed to. Some of my pet peeves? Passengers who walk into the bathroom barefoot, I just don’t understand. And not paying attention to the seat belt sign. Or people touching the entertainment system with their toes, you can’t believe how common that is. I can’t believe I have to tell grown adults to not do that.

“My most memorable trip so far was Japan; we went on vacation for my boyfriend’s birthday in October. My whole life I’ve always dreamed about Japan. The people are so respectful and calm, they think about everything that they do. I want to incorporate that into how I live my life. With the holidays coming, I’m going through a spiritual transformation. People are very sensitive — I’m one of them. I lost my dad five years ago, and I want to say that if people are experiencing grief and loss during the holidays, they need to know that they will be ok, that they will get better. I’m a living example of that.”

Interviewed by Barbara Schuler

‘I didn’t know if I would be able to do it on my own, but I knew I had to. I had this little child dependent upon me.’

Elmont

“My whole purpose and passion is helping young and adult men of color. I raised my son as a single mother. I’ve gone through over 10 years in the family court system. I fought through a lot of narcissism, pain and stress. I went through so much as a single mom, but I was holding on to my support system and holding on to God, which pulled me through.

“I kept pushing forward, but it was a hard journey. I got full legal and physical custody immediately, but my son’s father had a lot of money and made it difficult for me. He used the court system to manipulate and bully me as a way to control me. This is a man who I used to love, who I had expectations of building a family with, and all of a sudden, he wanted to take our son away from me. It was gut-wrenching. As much of a battle as it was, he provided me with a great young man, and I am forever grateful for that.

“I didn’t know if I would be able to do it on my own, but I knew I had to. I had this little child dependent upon me. The challenging part was money. I just didn’t have it. I was scuffling to make ends meet, and even though my son had child support, it just wasn’t enough. For a time, the only thing I could afford was the dollar menu on McDonald’s. I did what I had to in order to feed my son.

“I remember getting on my knees one day to my mother, and I said, ‘I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired.’ I was crying like a baby. She said to me, ‘You already won.’ She was right. I had my son, and he wasn’t going to be taken away from me. I was being dragged through the court system, but I had custody. My mother, father, grandmother, sister and my son, those are my rocks. They stood by me through the incredibly difficult times. Even though I am a huge advocate for single strong parents, it would have been so much easier if I did have a partner. I am thankful for my support system.

“It took me about seven years to reestablish my sense of self. I work with single parents, and I always tell them to take their time. Don’t rush life. Get to know who you are and reestablish that again, and then you will find your purpose. My son is 22 now. He’s a college student and works full time, and I am so proud of him.”

When we strengthen our boys and men, we stabilize our girls and women.

“I’ve always been a very active community leader, and years ago, I started a nonprofit in southeast Queens called Millennium Minds. Doing community service has always been very powerful in my soul. As I was raising my son, I went back to school and received my master’s degree in mental health counseling. Most of my clients are single mothers who are raising sons. I help them navigate the challenges associated with raising a young man, especially a young man of color in today’s world.

“After the murder of Trayvon Martin in 2012, I felt it in my soul that I wanted to do more. I created a quarterly publication, “Thoughts Magazine,” that is double-sided – one side for men and the other for women. The purpose of this magazine is to help restore the family nucleus and reduce the single-parent household rate, as well as the divorce rate, in our communities. Reading both sides of the publication can help someone build a better relationship around empathy and compassion.

“I want young men to be strong mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially. When we strengthen our boys and men, we stabilize our girls and women. I created Young Men Strong in 2013. It’s centered around providing education and wellness to adult and young men of color. The organization provides many classes, including financial literacy, defensive driving and first aid. We have so many resources available to help build their personal and professional development. We are currently partnering up with mental health facilities to provide mental health support services. We have men aged from 16 to 80 years old. It’s a mentoring program for the young man who is currently growing up in a single-parent household, as well as the adult man who grew up in one and never received the resources he needed to grow.

“I have written three self-help books that encourage single mothers and fathers to find that sense of self even when it feels like everything is crumbling down. We have to create space to allow our sons to mature and grow, as well as give ourselves, the single parents, time to find our purpose and sense of self. No one person is an island.”

‘When I had my third child, we learned he had cerebral palsy and that he would need full-time care. I quit my job to be with him.’

Elmont

“I was born in India and studied botany. I was engaged to my husband who was living in New York. In 1987, I followed him here so we could get married.

“I wanted to study microbiology when I got here, but couldn’t do it because of the cost. I didn’t know about financial aid then. I got my green card and became a teacher. I was teaching Islamic studies at the same school my kids went to.

“In 2000, when I had my third child, we learned he had cerebral palsy and that he would need full-time care. I quit my job to be with him. Oh my God, I cannot imagine a day without him. He’s everything to me. When you have a child like this, it’s really special. It’s been special.

“I hadn’t had a baby like this, so I didn’t know how to act. It was very difficult for me. I couldn’t understand if I was doing anything right or wrong. We would rush to the ER often. I would sometimes wake him up thinking he looked blue, but he wasn’t. I was so scared. He suffered from very bad seizures.

There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

“As time went by, the seizures became less and less. He now hasn’t had a seizure in almost seven years. I’ve noticed over the years that his level of understanding is much better now compared to before. I see that he’s more into things as he grows. Usually you think you would deteriorate, right? But with him, I see him being able to understand more and more. There are times when he watches movies and laughs at the punchline. His therapists agree, there is so much that he understands. That means a lot to us.

“Last year, we got to see him graduate from BOCES. His teacher, Ms. Diane, was so wonderful. God, I loved her so much. When we’d bring him to school, all the kids would be excited to see him. It was a very special moment. He was loved so much.

“I come from a very small town in India, and maybe some people won’t even know where it is, but thank God for the education my parents gave me. When I came to America, thank God, I could stand up for myself. There are so many things I stood up for, you know? Sometimes, I think, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I did that.’

“We have a good life in New York, all of us. I love my family. We’ve learned that there is always hope. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.”

Interviewed by Maggie Melito

‘Joking about it, laughing and keeping up my daily routines instead of sulking at home, that’s what kept me going.’

Elmont

“It was a regular night. I went to sleep, woke up, and when I was doing my morning activities, I noticed that my eyes were dry, and I couldn’t really move my face. I looked in the mirror, and lo and behold, I couldn’t blink, and my face looked droopy. I called my parents because they are the first people I run to when I have a problem, plus my mom’s a nurse. My parents urged me to go to the urgent care to rule out the possibility of a stroke. I tried my best to stay positive and not think about the worst. I took myself to urgent care, and that’s where the doctor told me I had Bell’s palsy. Bell’s palsy is a viral infection that attacks your facial nerve. There’s no real known cause for it yet. It’s something they’re still studying.

“I had several appointments lined up for neurology, a CAT scan, EMGs, a whole bunch of stuff. I mostly tried to stay calm because I know if I freak out, then the rest of my nervous system is going to freak out. I just wanted to know what was happening more than anything. But then once it was explained to me, that brought me peace. I was just worried about the outcome of how long it would last.

“The doctor gave me medication. The pills were huge, and the dosage varied between the two medications, but there were a lot of pills to take a day. I also had to do physical therapy. I had two therapists: one for regular physical therapy and one for occupational physical therapy. It was a positive experience, and my friends were super supportive. I feel like I had a lot of people around me that explained things to me, so I understood what was happening. I feel like if I didn’t know what was happening, then I would have been confused.

“As of right now, my therapist and I consider myself completely healed, thankfully. I’m typically a person that likes to smile throughout my day, so not being able to during the process was weird. I just cracked jokes about myself, and it helped me feel less weird about it. That’s how I really found my joy. Joking about it, laughing, still going out with my friends and keeping up my daily routines instead of sulking at home, that’s what kept me going.”

I remember what my professor told us: “We’re a criminal justice school, so why wouldn’t we focus on a topic that affects the criminal justice system?

“I recently graduated from John Jay College of Criminal Justice. During my last fall and spring semester, I had the amazing opportunity to work on a project with some brilliant minds — my professors and co-authors — on a play. My co-authors and I wanted to write a play about how society views rape and show how people in our own lives respond to sexual violence. We wrote the play in December 2021 and were chosen by professors to have it published for the “Seeing Rape” productions, something the school does every year. We were working on it until April 2022, a five-month project where we were making re-edits and revisions to make sure that the message was perceived well and properly.

“For our play, ‘Uncertainty,’ we chose a sister and a friend because those are typically the first people that we go to in our lives — family, friends or the people that surround us. We chose two different views, and it’s up to the audience members to depict what side they want to be on. The main character, Nevaeh, is torn between two people’s opinions that she values in her life. In the end, she ends up speaking about how she just wanted to be listened to.

We wanted to focus on what the survivors’ rights are, what they want and how they should be able to proceed. Every situation is not the same, and each one deserves its own remedy or solution. I was really excited about this opportunity because some people dismiss the topic of sexual assault and rape because it’s taboo. Even when I mentioned the idea of doing this play to some of my friends or even seeing it, they were taken aback about it and questioned why I would participate. I remember what my professor told us: ‘We’re a criminal justice school, so why wouldn’t we focus on a topic that affects the criminal justice system?’

“Getting the chance to see the play performed was amazing because we got to see our work brought to life. It was mesmerizing because we did it as a team, and I was happy and proud of our outcome. We were able to work with the actors, see how they interpreted it and just successfully collaborate to get our message out. You can watch it on YouTube under ‘Seeing Rape 2022’ published under John Jay’s account.”

Interviewed by Victoria Bell

‘Both my parents came to America to provide better resources for themselves and their unborn children. That translated into me taking advantage of the educational opportunities that were presented to me.’

Elmont

“I am the second child and first daughter of Igbo Nigerian immigrants. I spent most of my life growing up in Elmont. A lot of who I am today stems from the impact of my family as well as the support system and environment at Elmont High School. Nigerian parents and culture really value education.

“Both my parents came to America to provide better resources for themselves and their unborn children. That translated into me taking advantage of the educational opportunities that were presented to me. This most readily happened while at Elmont High School and in the science research program.

“I was able to get my first research experience at the age of 13, which ultimately led me to pursue research in cement, concrete and civil engineering during my senior year of high school. That was a very fun and transformative experience for me because I was able to learn more about the carbon footprint of the cement and concrete industry, as well as inspire many up-and-coming scientists and young people across Long Island and within my own Elmont community.

“This inspiration happened when I was selected to be a finalist of the Intel Science Talent Search (now Regeneron Science Talent Search), chosen to attend President Obama’s White House Science Fair and, later, elected to be a part of the Forbes 30 Under 30 list in the energy category. This happened all because of the research that I did, which was through my own curiosity and efforts, but really, due to the mentorship and support that I got from the Elmont community.

“This translated into my work at Harvard, where I decided to study bioengineering, which allowed me to combine my budding interests in engineering with my desire to make an impact on health and medicine. I did research in point of care technology for the past four years, all culminating to my current journey: to pursue an MD/PhD to become a physician scientist.

“This basically means having a foot in medicine and research to fundamentally help transform how we practice medicine in our country, and to reimagine how to make these systems more equitable and just for all people, particularly those who come from underserved patient populations.”

In the future, I’d like to give back to communities nationwide by providing them with research experiences.

“I was blessed to be invited to the White House Science Fair and a Science Talent Search finalist, which is the oldest and most prestigious science competition for high school seniors. I was the only Black person out of all 40 finalists. That was the first time that I really started to understand the general inaccessibility of science and research to people like myself.

“Fast-forward to my time working at Harvard’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital. I decided to start the TRUST Fellowship (Translational Research for Untapped Science Talent Fellowship), which is focused on exposing students from underrepresented backgrounds to research in inclusive mentoring.

“At the time when I began the TRUST Fellowship, I was working on a COVID-19 project in the lab I was in. COVID-19 has disproportionately impacted underserved communities, like Black folks, socioeconomic disadvantaged folks and other marginalized communities in our society. I felt very empowered as a Black woman from a low-income background working on this research myself and thus wanted to expose more students like myself to this type of work.

“Through the TRUST Fellowship, in the pilot stage, we were able to mentor six different first- and second-year students at Harvard who come from these backgrounds. They worked on COVID-19, neurodegenerative projects and cardiovascular projects. The common theme between these projects is that they are translational, which means that the goal of the research is meant to transform and translate into the way doctors and clinicians provide care for patients.

“Ultimately, the TRUST Fellowship was an opportunity for me to take the knowledge I’ve crystallized as a researcher of about 10 years at that point and give back to students in my Harvard community.

“In the future, I’d like to give back to communities nationwide by providing them with research experiences that can not only introduce them to really cool work, but also hopefully inspire them to — like myself — potentially pursue an MD/PhD, MD, PhD or just paths that are focused on innovation and really reimagining the ways in which we do research and practice medicine to make it more inclusive and equitable for communities that are underserved.”

‘I think these accomplishments speak to the importance of identifying your passions and really just focusing on learning and growing in your passion.’

“That time [during my college search] where I was recognized by a lot of different media outlets was quite an exciting time. It was a time that I couldn’t have necessarily predicted or planned for. Literally to this day, I do not know who nominated me [for Forbes 30 Under 30]. I just got a tweet from someone who works on the selection committee informing me that I was nominated and to DM them to get a link to the application.

“I think these accomplishments speak to the importance of identifying your passions and really just focusing on learning and growing in your passion. For me at the time, it was really understanding more about cement, concrete and specifically developing a better cement seal that can be used for offshore oil wells to prevent horrible oil spills.

“I really dived into my passion and interests and stuck my hands in everything with the desire to really take advantage of the opportunities presented to me — again instilled in me by my Nigerian parents. It led to all these accomplishments, such as admission into all the colleges I applied to, which includes all the eight Ivy League institutions. I was also on BET ‘Black Girls Rock!’ and was a ‘Making A Difference’ or ‘M.A.D. Girl’ awardee. Alongside having all these accomplishments, they further reinforced to me the particular role that God wants me to play in this world, which is to lift as I climb. Because I’ve been pushed out to all these platforms, I’ve been able to connect with so many near peers who are curious about potentially studying engineering, pursuing research, attending an Ivy League school, going to college and pursuing medicine.

“I’ve been able to connect with so many of these people and inspire them because I don’t want to be the only one in these spaces. I don’t want to be the only Black person who’s a Science Talent Search finalist. I don’t want to be one of two Black people graduating with a bachelor of science in bioengineering from Harvard. I don’t want to be the only physician scientist.

“These accomplishments have just given me a platform that has allowed me to connect with and inspire more youth, which I think is very clear with some of the other involvements and things I’ve done since that time.”

Interviewed by Victoria Bell

‘When I returned to New York, I had a strange twitch in my fingers that wouldn’t go away.’

Elmont

“I journeyed to Sedona, Arizona, to find myself. I decided to visit there after I visited a yoga studio that had these amazing sparkling red rocks on their walls that called to me. When I asked the instructors where the rocks came from, they gave me a book called ‘A Call to Sedona.’ I knew Sedona had a message for me and I had to go there. I had such a unique experience. I sat down in front of a twisted juniper tree on Bell Rock and began praying to God, asking to reveal my purpose. I closed my eyes and meditated and was immediately engulfed in an active vortex. I could see nothing outside of the vortex; it was just me and the juniper tree. I felt scared, but that fear turned into a surreal calm.

I hope to expand my business to continue to beautify the world with art.

“When I opened my eyes, after the vortex ended, I stood up and silently continued to hike. I had a broken toe, but I felt no pain while I was on the rock. Once I made it to the top, I meditated again, and when I opened my eyes, I saw a heart-shaped cloud, the only one in the sky. Upon my descent down the hill, I felt something tell me to stop walking, step backwards and look down. I saw a heart-shaped red rock with crystals growing on it. When I returned to New York, I had a strange twitch in my fingers that wouldn’t go away. It made me feel the urge to paint. I got supplies at Michael’s, and my life was never the same.

“I quit my job and decided to dedicate myself to art full time. These were the messages that led me to start Authentic Heartwork in 2014. I answered that call and self-funded my journey. It was tough and I struggled, but Long Island libraries helped me a lot. I started doing painting classes, and this helped me to develop my skills and build connections. We are currently a vendor with the New York City Department of Education and create murals on school grounds in the Bronx, Brooklyn and Queens. My team and I have also created murals in New Jersey, Connecticut and Massachusetts. We just recently incorporated glitter and glow-in-the-dark paint in one of our murals at the MS 129 school located in the Bronx. Being a professional artist is very rewarding. I hope to expand my business to continue to beautify the world with art.”

Interviewed by Meagan Meehan

‘I literally heard in my ear, “You were visited by an angel.” I immediately got chills.’

Elmont

“Throughout my life, I had tiny psychic experiences. I would see different figures in my house and things like that. My mom shared with me that when she was younger, she had experiences, too. But she would always tell me, don’t speak to them, keep ignoring it, and things like that, because she built up this fear. Also, it’s very taboo in a lot of cultures and traditions.

“I had a difficult childhood. I was a first-generation American—my parents are from Guyana—and I grew up in a divorced household. On top of that, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I developed depression, and in a way, shut myself out from the world. And eventually, a lot of psychics do this, I ended up closing off my abilities as I went into high school. Then, I went away to college in upstate New York and was extremely depressed, almost to the point of suicidal. I was just embodying all of the sadness.

“Difficult things that happened to me —feeling unsupported, unloved, family issues; I was bullied in high school for being a little bit different—these things accumulated inside, and I didn’t know where to go for help. One day, I almost committed suicide. I was lying in my bed and felt this darkness over me like I couldn’t go on anymore. I went to sleep, and about an hour later, woke up and saw a single stream of light coming into my door and then saw this light figure. It said to me, ‘Don’t worry, everything’s going to be OK. We’re going to take care of you.’ And I remember feeling the greatest sense of relief I’ve ever felt in my life, this wave of peace and calm. There were tears in my eyes. I literally heard in my ear, ‘You were visited by an angel.’ I immediately got chills. From that moment on, I started to view things a little bit differently and open myself up to healing.

“When I went back home to Long Island, I ended up feeling compelled to seek out a teacher. So, I ended up connecting with two psychic mentors. The first time I saw one of the psychics, she was at this event with 150 people. She came up to me after and said, ‘I see that you have some potential,’ and gave me an invitation to join her class.”

Often, when the spirits come through, they give us messages of hope. What you think is deep sadness doesn’t matter in the long run.

“I immediately took off and blossomed in her class. I was being validated in so many ways. It was such a healing process to discover this connection to the other side. Often, when the spirits come through, they give us messages of hope. What you think is deep sadness doesn’t matter in the long run. And I just started viewing life in such a different way and really dedicating myself to realizing that this could potentially help to heal other people, too.

“My teacher taught me this incredible technique called psychic surgery. It’s a mixture of hypnotherapy techniques along with energy healing. It’s this concept that whenever you experience trauma in your life, there’s some sort of stagnant energy inside you. I actually ended up doing this with her when I was healing my depression. And it’s so wild because you literally see a somatic shape that’s inside of you and all of these emotions that are trapped. So often, we try to bury our pain. It’s empowering to acknowledge these negative words inside of us and release them.

“Sometimes I get naysayers on social media. They’re like, ‘You know this isn’t true.’ I often say to those people who are just one hundred percent disbelievers: ‘How do you know your answers?’ There’s so much about this universe that is unknown. And I think there’s beauty in that unknowingness and just tapping into yourself to find out what the answers are. And that’s what I essentially believe: that we all have the ability to tap into our own spirituality and find out what we believe in through our hearts.

“It’s important for everyone to step into their power because so many people are hiding in the shadows because they’re scared. I think that’s the message: not being afraid to go for your dreams, even if it’s something that seems so strange and out there. Because five years ago, for me to say to myself, ‘You’re going to go on social media and tell people that you communicate with the spirit world,’ I would be like, no way! Especially having been bullied and teased early in my life, to move past those negative barriers and be like, all right, I’m ready to share. I’m ready to empower other people. I think there’s nothing more beautiful than that.”

Interviewed by Jay Max