‘There’s that moment when you look through your camera and there’s a jolt of adrenaline.’
“I started shooting 35 mm film when I was in 10th grade. I was on varsity cheerleading, and I dealt with a sexual assault. That shattered my whole world, my identity. So, I leaned into the other side of me, the creative side. I quit cheerleading and pursued art. I was in the photo room before school, after school. My teacher would let me come; she knew it was a safe place for me.
“I was able to recreate myself as I was creating my art. A lot of artists use their tragedy and their pain for something beautiful. My mom found my first camera on eBay for $70, a Canon Rebel, a ’90s film camera, and someone stole it out of my locker.
“Now I have a Canon AE-1, which was my friend’s uncle’s from the ’80s. Photography gave me a reason to go outside and look around outside myself, sort of meditatively. I started taking my time looking at things closely. Film is a more artistic experience than digital. Technology takes a lot away from us. When you shoot digital, you don’t have to know the camera as well.
“I just appreciate taking my time with photos and investing in my film. It’s always a surprise getting the film back after being developed. In three weeks, you don’t remember you took a random photo of this thing you walked past.
“I don’t remember the photos I take, and that’s one of my favorite parts. It’s cool, those little moments you get to experience again. With film, you don’t have a lot of chances to get things right. I think, ‘I hope these came out well; I tried my best. Then you get them back, and they’re stunning or terrible, but you’re happy regardless because you’re learning.
“When I take a photo, there’s a reason for each one, and I try to capture things that are beautiful and interesting. I like to shoot my friends. They and I struggle with self-image, so when I can look at them in a moment and capture them, that’s special because they’re stunning. I like giving them photos of themselves so they can see themselves the way I see them.
“There’s that moment when you look through your camera, and there’s a jolt of adrenaline. You’re capturing something so specific that no one else will ever capture. It’s vulnerable to share because these are my moments; this is my life.”