Faces of Long Island celebrates the uniqueness of everyday Long Islanders. In their own words, they tell us about their life experiences, challenges and triumphs. Newsday launched this social media journey into the human experience to shine a light on the diverse people of this wonderful place we call home.

‘I was always drawn to help the poor, moved with compassion.’

Medford

“I was born on the island of Grenada and came here when I was 16 or 17 years old, wanting to make a better life. My mom was already here, and my siblings eventually came. I was always drawn to help the poor, moved with compassion. Even as a 9-year-old, I would cook for a family who didn’t have food.

“That followed me here to the U.S. I work in communities where they lack resources. I’ve gone to Ghana, and I’ve dug several wells and started building a school there. When I went to some of the villages and saw the conditions, the filthy water they were drinking, I couldn’t walk away and do nothing. People were contracting diseases from drinking that water. I used my life savings to pay for wells before I started what’s now called Adu Djan Water around 2011.

“Adu-Djan is my married name. My husband is Ghanian, and we met here after I started going to Ghana. Abesim is a village in Ghana that has a school made from mud. The chief of the village said to me, ‘We have been praying for you to come for years.’ When I sat in the school, the kids told me they were afraid to come in because the thatched roof would allow snakes in. If it rained, it damages the building. I told them I would build a school. At the time, I didn’t have the money; I didn’t know where the money was going to come from. But I knew I wanted to provide the opportunity for them to get a safe education. That’s really been my driving force. I go to Ghana as often as I can. We’ve also provided school supplies, food. The lives of some of these kids are so hard. Whenever I get a call that says, ‘I have no food for the kids for this week,’ I have to somehow figure out a way to get the money. I can’t imagine going to school not having breakfast, not having lunch, maybe getting something for dinner.

“I’m planning a trip next year, and hopefully I can start drilling more wells because I have been getting so many requests. When I visited, there were song lyrics written, ‘There shall be showers of blessings.’ I was wondering, ‘How can anyone be hopeful?’ But they were. I wanted to be that beacon of hope for them, to see the gratitude on their faces. It touched me so deeply, so I knew this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.”

I was born to be in service to others, whether it’s helping them realize their full potential, or providing food, water or school, or providing spiritual support.

“I work for United Way of Long Island, their YouthBuild program for young adults 16-24, teaching them some type of skill to make them employable.

“Some have high school degrees, some don’t, and they’re low income. I’m also a mentor for Moxxie Mentoring, a foundation that pairs young women with female mentors as they grow professionally. They’re in college, they have aspirations and different needs than people in Ghana. I was born to be in service to others, whether it’s helping them realize their full potential, or providing food, water or school, or providing spiritual support. Almost all the work I’ve done everywhere I’ve gone in the world, young people are drawn to me. I’m glad because I want to be able to make an impression on them so they understand they’re loved, they’re needed, they’re valued, there’s potential in them and they can be successful.

“I wrote a book, ‘Prayer That Really Works,’ in 2016 because I wanted to provide an answer for people who I felt were struggling with getting their prayer answered. I was inspired to write it as an answer to all the people who have asked me, ‘Why isn’t my prayer being answered?’ I wanted to provide something for them in those times of doubt, something they can read and be empowered to grow their faith. My faith in God is what enables me to do all that I do without getting tired, without feeling the effects; it’s really what grounds me.

“This could be draining spiritually, but I never look at the work as me doing it. I look at the work as God doing it through me. Until recently, I was an assistant minister at my church in the Bronx, but they moved to New Jersey. What I do now is I minister wherever I’m needed. I get a call from a church that is starting women’s ministry, asking me to come be a speaker. I travel a lot and I do ministry in a lot of countries – Haiti, Jamaica, India. Everything is kind of intertwined. If I go for ministry and someone says to me, ‘We need a well or we need food,’ I do all of that. I’m representing God to many people, but also showing them his love by providing them those physical things that they need, providing those things that we in the Western world take for granted.”

Interviewed by Rachel O’Brien – Morano

‘There’s a stigma sometimes associated with stuttering, that stutterers aren’t too bright, or they’re nervous, or there’s something wrong psychologically.’

Medford

“I have always stuttered, even as a small child. I was teased in grade school. They would imitate me and make fun of the way I spoke. It was a challenge getting through high school and things like dating and socializing, and it caused me to be withdrawn and shy.

“There’s a stigma sometimes associated with stuttering, that stutterers aren’t too bright, or they’re nervous, or there’s something wrong psychologically. But it’s neurologic, and we don’t really know what causes it. The stutter creates stress, and then just the anticipation of stuttering makes it even worse; it’s an endless loop. I moved out to L.I. from the Bronx for graduate school. I now live in Medford, but have also lived in Patchogue and Bellport.

“I always wanted to be that person who was fluent and could communicate well, so I would put myself into tough situations. For example, while in graduate school, I was teaching television production courses and given class assignments to teach. I didn’t quite have a handle on my stuttering at the time, so it was a little bit rough speaking to groups of students not much younger than me.

“I remember one former student once told me, ‘I felt so bad for you, I just wanted you to get those words out, and we were rooting for you.’ That was very sweet, and while it clearly was difficult for me, I did it because I didn’t want it to hold me back. I went to a speech therapist in my 20s, and she said if I decreased my rate of speaking by 20%, I would decrease my stuttering by 50 percent, and she was right, but what really helped me get it most was hypnosis.

“I was seeing a psychotherapist after my first marriage ended. I was going through stress and other things, and I was dealing fairly well, but the therapist said I should also deal with the stutter. I would say that of all the speech therapies I tried, that was the one that helped most significantly. He would put me under in the office, and we would talk specifically about words and sounds that I would have difficulty saying, or would be triggers, and he would have me imagine talking to other people, saying those words. He also made recordings for me, and I would do self-hypnosis at home, and for whatever reason it worked for me.”

That was a large growth spurt for me, as self-teaching myself to be a public speaker and learning how to engage a group of people also served as the thing that made me want to try stand-up comedy.

“Words I had a hard time with were ‘women’ and ‘money,’ and I would joke about how those were things that cause some anxiety as well, which didn’t help my stuttering. But while his methods work for me, you’re never cured of it; you just find ways to cope and control it.

“One of my past government jobs was working with Mario Cuomo as his representative on Long Island. He was a master communicator, a master articulator and so eloquent. I learned so much from him. I later worked for the Department of Labor for about five years, right after the Great Recession, and I had to do lots of public presentations. That was a large growth spurt for me, as self-teaching myself to be a public speaker and learning how to engage a group of people also served as the thing that made me want to try stand-up comedy.

“It comes from what I used to do to try and break the ice. Weaving in a joke to the beginning of a presentation, even a boring one, had people coming up and saying I was a good speaker and a funny guy. And so, through the friend of a friend, a few years later I learned about Stand-Up University comedy classes at the Brokerage in Bellmore, and it showed me the pathway. It was life-changing for me. They prepared me to get ready to be on stage, and my first show was the day before my 60th birthday. I found I had a knack for it.

“I developed material, started doing some open mic nights, and that led to calls to do some paying gigs. I haven’t done much since the COVID period, but before that I would do about a show a month, working as the opening act, doing about 10 minutes of material. This was another plateau where I overcame the challenge. I’ve also worked in the public relations industry, first in ’94 after Cuomo lost, when I started a firm working out of my home that grew into a small business with a brick-and-mortar office, and did that for about 10 years before getting back into government as a deputy supervisor to then-Brookhaven Town Supervisor Brian Foley. I shut down that PR business and worked in government in various positions, town and state, until about eight years ago, when I left government for good and started the PR again. I do that now as a one-man band.”

Everything I do is about connecting with people and engaging people. Maybe that comes from not having the connections I wanted as a kid who stuttered.

“Today I teach college communications classes, including public speaking, introduction to communications, things like that. It wasn’t easy at first, but I use the fact that I stutter and I talk about it. I let them know about the challenges I faced, and that when they have to give a speech in public speaking, I understand that they are reluctant or nervous or self-conscious, because I’ve been there. It’s been a daily challenge; you never turn the switch off.

“If I don’t use all the ways I’ve learned, I could slide right back into disfluency and have trouble communicating. The coping mechanisms are always switched on. There are times when I feel like I’m speaking effortlessly, but believe it or not, it’s often when I’m onstage doing comedy. There are celebrated performers who stutter but rarely do so onstage; it’s something about working off a script or playing a role. You tend to stutter less. Stutterers, when they sing, don’t stutter.

“When you go on to perform, you just enter a different headspace. It becomes effortless at that point. I also have two grown daughters, and with them I’m not so self-conscious. I tend to be more fluent around family. I think the anticipatory anxiety isn’t there, and when I’m with them and I stutter, I’m not so concerned. I know they are not judging me in any way.

“Performing, teaching and family are about making connections. When it comes to my students, I really enjoy engagement with them. When you connect with an audience, after getting those first laughs, you’re developing a relationship. All these things help put my mind at ease. Everything I do is about connecting with people and engaging people. Maybe that comes from not having the connections I wanted as a kid who stuttered.

“I always work in a stuttering joke in the beginning of my act to kind of put the audience on notice that I’m a stutterer, and if I do stutter later, it’s sort of part of the act. It helps me get past it, too. Even today, speaking can still be a struggle. But it’s manageable, and I’m more accepting of my own stuttering. If I have a bad day, I don’t beat myself up over it like I used to. I embrace it more. It doesn’t hold me back.”

Interviewed by Ian J. Stark

‘I stopped performing in 2011 after I started losing body parts.’

Medford

“I always liked stand-up [comedy] when I was younger but never had the guts to do it myself. In 1977, I saw an ad for a comedy club in Massapequa, and it was open to anybody who wanted to try. I went there and saw a guy get heckled so bad I couldn’t go on stage. I didn’t have the insides to do it.

“Over the next 23 years, I worked at the bank, in real estate and at the post office, but it bugged me that I didn’t face my fears. I was always the funny guy at the party, but it’s not the same as being onstage in front of strangers. I didn’t try again until 2000, when I said to myself, ‘Look, you either do it or you don’t.’ I went up there for 5 minutes, I got one laugh, and I was hooked. Then two times becomes three times; you get a little better each time. It got easier and easier, and by three years later I was working for a comedy club and started producing shows, which I still do, but I stopped performing in 2011 after I started losing body parts.

Do I still try to get the people in my life to laugh? Every. Single. Second.

“It started with my left big toe. I got a cut on my toe playing tennis, and it turned gangrenous. They saved the rest of my leg, but years later I got gangrene again on my left foot, and I lost the rest of those toes. Then, just days after getting home from that, I fell and ripped a four-inch bone out of my right heel, which went up into my ankle and severed most of my Achilles tendon. My doctor did his best, but the injury threatened my heart, and I lost that leg below the knee.

“I’ve had 130 procedures; my last was a heart bypass in September. I also have peripheral arterial disease, so my hands are always freezing. I was also 284 pounds at one time; now I’m down to 150, and I did it the old-fashioned way: amputation … That’s a bad joke. You have to look for the humor, right? People say to me all the time that I should get back up onstage, but I can’t stand without assistance for very long. I miss the rush of performing, which I haven’t done for around six or seven years. I kind of stay away from seeing live comedy these days; it’s hard to be around it, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over that. Maybe someday I’ll get back to performing. But do I still try to get the people in my life to laugh? Every. Single. Second.”

Interviewed by Melanie Gulbas

‘Alan Jackson does a song called “Sissy’s Song.” It’s about a woman who gets cancer and dies. I can’t get through it. I’m going to work on that. I’ll get that song down.’

Medford

“My wife Kathy and I were getting ready to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in September 2014. That Labor Day, I got a cold and my wife caught it from me, but she got a cough. She went to the doctor; they did chest x-rays and saw something there.

“Three weeks later, we found out she had about 60 to 70 percent of her lung full of cancer and it was also in her windpipe. They scheduled her as soon as possible at Memorial Sloan Kettering. She had the operation and everything went fine.

“She comes home on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Black Friday, she says, ‘Steve, I’m having difficulty breathing.’ We wound up going back to Sloan’s and they immediately put her on a ventilator and induced a coma. What happened was, she caught an infection. She died shortly after.

I had decided not to go, but my guardian angel told me I had to. So, I go and I meet all these crazy people my age and one of them has their own bar. I don’t drink but I started hanging out at the bar.

“Six months later, I get laid off from my job, so I’m home with a dead wife and no job. Then in late August, a friend of mine calls and says, ‘Steve, I’m having a big party.’ I had decided not to go, but my guardian angel told me I had to. So, I go and I meet all these crazy people my age and one of them has their own bar. I don’t drink but I started hanging out at the bar.

“Tuesday nights they started to have karaoke. I said, ‘There is no way you’re going to get me up there and sing.’ That night on my way home, I heard a country tune, and I thought, I could do that. I practiced the tune and went back the next Tuesday night; I sing it and it comes out great. I said, ‘I kind of like doing this and it takes my mind off things.’

“I started looking for other bars that have karaoke. I’ve been to over 40 bars in the last couple of years doing this. When I dress the part, I become Honky Tonk Steve. I also started talking to a lady named Janet on a Facebook page, “Grief Anonymous.” This was a worldwide site; she lives a mile from me.

“That was almost two years ago, and we’ve been dating ever since. She is also a widow and has a lot of my wife’s traits, especially energy. Kathy’s nickname was the ‘Bud Light Girl,’ but they also called her Sissy. Alan Jackson does a song called “Sissy’s Song.” It’s about a woman who gets cancer and dies. I tried to do the song but I can’t get through it. I’m going to work on that; sooner or later, I’ll get that song down.”

‘I love to paint, and I find it’s been really de-stressing and she and I do that together.’

Medford

“I started a boutique at the beginning of the pandemic when I had more time. My daughter Zoe is a kindergartner and she’s super creative and artistic. While arts and crafts has never been my thing, I was thinking, ‘What can I do to spend time with her?’ and really grow our relationship. No matter what I wanted to do, she’d say, “Maybe we can do this art project” and I’d say, “I don’t know if I’m good at that.

“But I feel like I was really able to find my niche with shirts and wooden signs. I love to paint, and I find it’s been really de-stressing and she and I do that together. She has a little area in the craft room that I created and while I’m doing crafts, she also does crafts.

“Lucy, who’s three, also wants to do whatever we’re doing, so she squeezes herself into one of her little spots. I named it after them because they’re my motivation. It lets me spend more time with them and show them you can help support your family and you can do something you love.

I never want the business to replace the job I have. I love teaching, that’s my passion.

“Zoe loves doing this stuff and I said to her, ‘Why don’t you think of something and you can sell it for a charity.’ Ten percent of the proceeds right now go to Together We Rise, a non-profit for foster children. I said to Zoe, ‘Think of something that you really love and you can sell something and your money can go to that.’ I never want the business to replace the job I have. I love teaching, that’s my passion. I love it as a side business, as something to bring in a little extra income and to promote creativity with Zoe. I feel like it’s helpful for her.

“The pandemic has been hard for her. Originally, we weren’t seeing our family at all, her grandparents. I really saw an increased anxiety in her, she was really sad about things and it just wasn’t who she is. This was a way for us to make sure that we get time together and give her that outlet and what she needs right now. She sees that maybe she can sell something, and she was really open to helping someone with it, which is what I really want to instill in her and in my students. It’s always how can you make a difference wherever you are, even when you’re a kid, you’re never too young.”

‘I’ve been able to live my life as though I was able to see.’

Medford

“They found out in second grade that I couldn’t see well. They gave me a special kind of desk that was on a slant so I would be able to comfortably look at any kind of reading material or test.

“My visual impairment is genetic — the optic nerve didn’t form normally so I believe I’m not getting the whole picture of what I look at. The way to explain it is I’m not getting all the pixels. There’s no way to fix it, but I’m happy about what I can see, I can see flowers, I can see people. Because of different organizations on Long Island that helped me out, I really didn’t have to struggle with my visual impairment.

“When I was 10 or 11, the local Lion’s Club found out that I was visually impaired, and they helped my mother pay for my glasses because they were expensive. My father left us when we were young, so it was my mother who raised me and my siblings. Then the Department of Vocational Rehab paid for my college, and also worked with me when I was an adult and I got a job with the Internal Revenue Service in Holbrook in 1975. They purchased for me a device that could read books, so I was able to look at tax returns and see if there was any missing information. Toward the end, everything was more or less done on the computer with software that made everything larger.

There’s no way to fix it, but I’m happy about what I can see, I can see flowers, I can see people.

“When I retire 37 years later in 2013, my team gave me money to buy a Kindle and I can enlarge the letters. I read a lot, I read the Bible a lot but my eyesight has gotten worse as I got older and I was no longer able to read even the giant print. It was perfect timing that I got this Kindle with lighted lettering. For getting around, I was using public buses with a reduced fare, so I could take a bus for 75 cents. But the problem was I couldn’t see where to get off.

“Now I use the Suffolk County Accessible Transportation – they take me from door to door, any place I want to go in the county for $4 each way. So that’s a real blessing, it’s allowing me to be very independent. Even though I have a handicap, I’ve been able to live my life as though I was able to see. I go to church and I’m able to attend more events and meetings than the rest of the congregation. It’s amazing how I’m able to get there.”

Interviewed by Rachel O’Brien-Morano