‘I wear many hats, but essentially, I am an energy worker, a teacher and a therapist. They all blend pretty much together.’

KAITLYN GAJEWSKI, PATCHOGUE

“I wear many hats, but essentially, I am an energy worker, a teacher and a therapist. They all blend together. I started my reiki journey eight years ago. I’ve been professionally practicing for seven years. I always knew that I wanted to help people. I didn’t know what direction that was going to leave me in, so I studied a whole bunch of things. I went to school and graduated with my bachelor of science in psych. Then I decided I didn’t want to be a conventional therapist.

“Every time I was doing jobs, they felt nice, but it wasn’t pulling at my soul. And for years, reiki was nudging me. Every time I was like internally having like one of those moments, a little angel in the form of a stranger or a coworker would say, you should try reiki.

“I tried it because I heard it could help me physically. And it did. But it also helped me on so many other levels. It changed my whole life, changed my whole awareness about myself. I was so unaware of the stuff I was carrying — trauma, heartbreak, everything. It just slowly helps you see that in a gentle way so that you can move it. Six months after, I asked to learn it, and my teacher nearly hopped out of her chair. She was like, ‘This is what you’re supposed to be doing!’

I love to help people, and it’s all about the energy and the person’s willingness to have the experience.

“Reiki could be defined in so many words, but simply put, I like to say it’s the soul massage you’ve been waiting for. It’s a practice that helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system. The practitioner channels the energy that’s all around us through them and guides it into the person’s body to help push out, gently guide out, the stagnant energy within them that’s causing them discomfort or worry.

“When people come in and I ask them what their intention is, I really believe everything should be intentional. And when we’re more intentional, the energy is more directed, so they receive more of a directed outcome. So, what is it you want to let go of? Or if you can’t think of anything you want to let go of, what is it you’re creating space for?

“I love to help people, and it’s all about the energy and the person’s willingness to have the experience. I’m just the bridge, but still, I’m witnessing it, you know, and it’s a true honor every time.”

Interviewed by Maggie Melito

‘I realized that I was a healer by nature.’

Gillian Woods, Patchogue

“When I was 10 years old, I had a terrible case of acne that made me feel incredibly insecure about my skin. I would stand in front of the mirror every morning, trying to cover up my blemishes. But no matter how much foundation and concealer I applied, it felt like makeup could only do so much. I truly needed a solution that would heal my skin, rather than just temporarily cover it up. It was during those moments that my passion for skin care and makeup truly ignited. I became determined to find a way to not only improve my own complexion but to help others struggling with their skin as well.

“I enrolled in the New York Institute of Beauty and dedicated myself to learning everything there was to know about skin care. It was at the institute that I discovered my true calling. I learned how to properly care for all skin types and provide specialized facials tailored to each individual’s needs.

“The secret was in manipulating the ingredients to ensure that the skin responded positively to the treatments. No two clients were the same, and I took great pride in creating customized treatment plans for everyone who walked through my door. But my true joy came not just from transforming clients’ skin, but also from helping them embrace their own natural beauty. I realized that I was a healer by nature, and creating a relaxing environment was just as important to me as the services I provided. I wanted every person who stepped into my studio to feel a sense of peace and tranquility, knowing that they were in capable hands. Seven years ago, I embarked on a journey that filled me with a sense of accomplishment and a desire to share my passion with the world.

“Today, I dedicate my days to massaging and rejuvenating my clients, not just transforming their physical appearance, but also healing their minds and souls. Turning my passions into a career has been the greatest reward, allowing me to make a daily difference in the lives of others. Embracing my love for skin care, I am grateful for the opportunity to help others discover their natural beauty.”

Interviewed by Starr Fuentes

‘I feel that my journey could inspire some young kids to follow their dreams.’

Patchogue

“My dad moved to out West when I was 5. My sister and I were raised by a single mother, living in two-bedroom apartments. We lived paycheck to paycheck. Mom died in 2009, the Friday before Mother’s Day. I was 33, and that was the pivotal moment in my life because it left a very large space. That is the thing that kind of transformed me from someone who was stuck in the past to someone who was really living more in the moment.

“I used that as a reason to live my life not like a tribute, but to honor her sacrifices, because she really never dated, never got remarried. She didn’t have any time or energy. She basically just did everything she could for us, so my life is kind of like a continuation of her life.

“I started traveling to Europe to see the Impressionist painters she had admired and never got to see. I made it my mission to see those things in person and to live life with less fear and more love. I was basically a lazy teenager, although I did show promise with my musical abilities.

“Since graduating college in 1999, I’ve been a middle school music teacher and the orchestra director. I’ve worked with thousands of students. Becoming a middle school music teacher was one of the decisions in life where I got lucky. Without teaching, without the kids, I’d be missing a big piece of my soul.

“Growing up, I was a lonely kid. I didn’t really have a lot of friends. I always fell back on playing guitar, playing piano, singing, listening to music. During the lockdown, I was doing livestreams on Facebook to raise money for Long Island Cares. I raised about $4,000 over eight weeks. I was featured on the News 12 concert series. I find cover songs that I like and kind of put my own spin on them. It really does touch people.

“Some people come up after a song and say they really needed to hear it. I’ve carved out a niche for myself as a performer. After 25 years of performing, I’m one of the top singer-guitarists on Long Island. I’m booked to play all over Long Island. I feel that my journey could inspire some young kids to follow their dreams. I always consider myself a work in progress, but I also consider myself a success story.”

‘I was playing with hair back in high school and stuff, but I never thought about doing it as a business until I was 31.’

Patchogue

“I was born and raised in Miller Place. It was not easy growing up there. Everybody always made fun of me just for being different. I always was a trendsetter, so in my head I was like, be careful. That’s dangerous. You can’t be too weird, you know?

“I was playing with hair back in high school and stuff, but I never thought about doing it as a business until I was 31. I was working at Sally’s Beauty, and I really loved what I did.

“There was a salon next door, and they’d always come in and ask me for help for like, formulating things. And I’m like, what am I doing? I was making $9 an hour on the books and helping people with color. I was like, why don’t I do this for a living? I went back to school at 31, and everyone else was 18, but I did it.

“I moved back to Long Island and worked in a ton of salons, but I found it hard to fit in with the style of work and fantasy colors that I do.

“After the last salon I worked at, I felt like I was fired for being myself. I knew I wanted to have my own space. I thought, ‘OK, I’m going to either rent a chair or a suite,’ and I was really scared. I picked the smallest room I could at Salons by JC.

“And now we’re going on the second year, and it’s really like a little village of artists. I moved to a bigger room and have continued to grow. I had to learn how to market. I had to learn how to advertise. I had to learn the tricks of the trade, you know? Everyone here is passionate about their work.

“This experience has felt so different for me because I could finally be who I needed to be. I can do what I need and use what I need and feel comfortable and not have always feel like this pressure of having to make sales. I could finally be 100 percent me.”

My advice for everyone is: Ignore people and be yourself. Turn off the social media and just keep going. Don’t give up because there is a future.

“I love everybody that comes in here. I’m very grateful for every single person because they chose me out of the millions of hairstylists on the Island. I totally appreciate that. I take such pride in my work, and I stand behind it. I love what I do, and I can’t wait to wake up every morning and come here.

“My clients range from all different ages. They’re usually looking for something different and alternative, not mainstream. They’re looking for somebody that cares. They’re looking for somebody that understands them. I was bullied all throughout school just for being me, for being different, for being too small, for being too weird, you know? I understand that it can be hard and scary to be yourself.

“I feel really honored that I’m able to give them their dream hair and hopefully help them feel confident. Now that I’m on my own, I can finally do these things that I need to do, use the brands I need to use. I got a job with the color brand that I use. I applied, and they got back to me right away, so now I’m an educator for them. When I got that job, I felt like, is this really my life?

“The end goal is to open an alternative hair salon on Long Island. I want it to be specialized in fantasy colors and all that kind of stuff. I have a friend who does tattoos. I would love to make it a hair and tattoo salon.

“My advice for everyone is: Ignore people and be yourself. Turn off the social media and just keep going. Don’t give up, because there is a future. You have a future. This could be it. There were times in my life that I wanted to die, and it sucked. But here we are now. I made it. I, and I even made a child. Like, I got this this far life. It’s really crazy!”

Interviewed by Maggie Melito

‘I got a phone call asking, “Do you do funeral work? We want to warn you, it’s for a baby.”’

Patchogue

“The original intent of my company was just bridal flower preservation. In 2016, I got a phone call and said, ‘Do you do funeral work? We want to warn you it’s for a baby.’ In came Kyleigh Hope’s flowers. She opened my eyes to the loss world. I preserved the funeral flowers. It was surreal that I was touching the flowers from the coffin of a baby. We originally told the family about pricing, and when we finished, we felt like it wasn’t right to charge.

“Preserving Kyleigh’s funeral flowers started the Angel Baby program. It felt so right. Families that suffered loss just had to make so many terrible decisions and had to pay terrible costs. Each year we probably get about 100 new children.

“Because I’m a non-loss mom, loss families learn to circle up with other loss families. I call myself an imposter. People who haven’t experienced a loss like that often can say cruel things without the intention of being cruel. Things like, ‘they’re in a better place,’ or ‘it happened for a reason,’ or ‘you can have another baby.’ These things are meant to make another person feel better, but they often feel worse. Some tend to not bring up the child anymore because bringing up the child will bring tears and pain. They’re kindly trying to avoid doing that but it’s more hurtful.

“We are creating an Angel Baby Garden in Patchogue. The green house will be built this year and will be a sanctuary, very memorial-esq. It will be a tall glass place to let the light in. There will be two grieving angels when you walk in. In the back there will be a fireplace with candles and a bookshelf. The bookshelf will have all the books of all the children and stories that the parents are writing of each of their child. Parents have no rules or restrictions and can write about their child’s past, present, or future. You’ll be able to go in the garden and read about these children. We have about four stories so far. It’s a tough book to write for the parents so we tell them, ‘When you’re ready you can put the book in.’ We have almost 400 angels. I can’t ever fully tell all their stories to everyone. This will be a way to keep their stories going so other families can read. You never know which book you are going to pull.

To realize that while I’m complaining about the dishes in the sink, 15 minutes away from me a mom is cradling her child for the last time. It’s a really awakening moment for me.

“Most of these angels are from Long Island. This made me a softer person. To realize that while I’m complaining about the dishes in the sink, 15 minutes away from me a mom is cradling her child for the last time. It’s a really awakening moment for me. I tell everyone I walk the world a lot softer.

“Our annual vigil started as a banquet. As the families left our first banquet, we had a police escort that took us on a parade through Main Street in Patchogue. We lit Main Street alone with 3,500 candles. I couldn’t believe we pulled it off. Then COVID came and we couldn’t have a banquet. I started to think about how I can still do this with social distancing and make sure everyone felt safe. I always saved a picture of this field and said, ‘Maybe we’ll do a banquet in this field one day.’

“We spaced out the rows seven feet apart. The first vigil we had 8,000 candles in the field at Shorefront Park in Patchogue. Each year I egg myself on to do more. We went on to 16,000. Somebody joked and said, ‘What are you going to do next year, 30,000?’ We did 35,000 candles this year. The candles represent the lives we celebrate.

“We use battery-operated tea lights and save them each year. They go into thousands of recycled jars, and we cricut the names in waterproof vinyl on all the jars. Every angel has at least 10 jars with their names on it. We have Kindergarten classes that write names, honor society, lots of people who are willing to help.

“The vigil pretty much covers the whole shoreline of Shorefront Park. We doubled in size from last year to this year. We had two drones shooting pictures this year. I wanted the view from heaven. I wanted the families to see what their kids see. It’s unreal to see the whole field aglow.

“There’s no speeches or ceremony at the vigil. Everyone can come and go. The world pauses and you can come and go as needed. It’s important for someone in grief, because for them it’s about pausing and being for a moment and acknowledging grief.

“A lot of people tell me they can’t go to the vigil because it’s too sad. But when you stare at grief in the face it’s beautiful. To do that with people who have to stare at it alone and ask people to come with them and look at it, that’s beautiful to see.

Interviewed by Tracey Cheek

‘I was so terrified of public speaking. I was freaked out all the time.’

Patchogue

“I was terrified of public speaking. I was freaked out all the time. I would get onstage, and my voice would be quivering. I couldn’t breathe; my heart was pounding out of my chest. As a singer, you have to find your strength. I have certain music I’m great at. I can sing Broadway, I can sing church music, I can sing some opera. I don’t sing hard rock. The number one problem, especially with women, is they talk too low. They’ve been told if they want to sound authoritative, they should speak at a lower pitch. Or they’ve read some book that advises speaking from your chest. You’re doing a lot of damage to yourself.

“Everybody talks, but everybody can’t do it right. We all learn by mimicking, so your voice is the product of habit, a habit you’ve had all your life. It makes a huge difference in how you’re perceived. People have this idea that singing is magical, but anybody can talk. They don’t think of speaking as something you need to learn. But everyone, from attorneys and ministers to teachers to someone who wants to give a TED talk, needs this kind of training.

You want your voice to have a measure of power, but you want to be approachable and authoritative at the same time.

“Voice alchemy is a holistic approach to improving your voice. It’s a little bit of classical voice training, speech therapy, postural alignment, some of it is emotional connection. All put together, it helps people communicate clearly. The voice is the voice. It is the first impression people get of you.

“What you need to do is find your optimal pitch, a range of your favorite notes; your voice’s home base. This is where your voice is going to sound the most animated, the clearest, and will last you all day — and even sound the sexiest, which is what most women are going for. You want your voice to have a measure of power, but you want to be approachable and authoritative at the same time. It requires rehearsal, whether you’re singing or speaking. It starts with how you breathe. You can do exercises. We usually start with embryonic sounds; the sounds that babies make. That’s how we learn to speak — a sigh, a yawn, anything that relaxes and opens up the throat. Everyone has a starting point, a different instrument, a different natural tone. But I’ve met very few people who are unable to make improvements.”

Interviewed by Barbara Schuler

‘I think it’s important to say that, to find our calling and purpose, we must change our mentality and lifestyle to match our dreams.’

Patchogue

“I was born in the U.S., but most of my family came here from Ecuador. When I was a teen, on weekends my uncle would take me to wait with undocumented immigrants in Farmingville looking for work. When someone came for workers, we’d go over, and I had an advantage because often they wanted bilingual speakers who could help with translating. It taught me how to work in any weather and with my hands, no matter how hard.

“After high school, I learned to detail cars and ended up getting a job at a car dealership. I also graduated from Suffolk Community College with an AA in criminal justice and wanted to join the NYPD, but knew that was unlikely as I got arrested at age 18. I was driving over 100 mph on Sunrise Highway; I saw police and reacted in the worst possible way. I thought I could lose them, but ended up sliding and getting stuck in a snowbank. I spent a night in jail, got community service and a year of probation. I had still hoped to become an officer and started the procedures after college at 21, but knew I might need a plan B, so I started a car-detailing side hustle.

I started hiring a young staff, and now my business is also a way to teach and help others.

“As expected, I was disqualified from the police, but then I was laid off from the dealership. I was stressing, but then started thinking about what I saw as a laborer, people working so hard, but not getting anywhere. That inspired me to create a business. To build on my side detailing work, I leased a space, then moved to a better location. I started using social media to get customers, business cards with QR scan codes and driving my own car around neighborhoods so people can see a demo of what I can do. I had to teach myself to do these kinds of things. I started hiring a young staff, and now my business is also a way to teach and help others.

“We’ve become a team. My employees all have plans of their own, but we have a mutual understanding to help me now, and I’ll help them get there. I get contacted a lot by people cheering me on for being so focused at age 25, even asking me for advice. I think it’s important to say that, to find our calling and purpose, we must change our mentality and lifestyle to match our dreams. And once we find our passion, it makes work no longer feel like work.”

Interviewed by Ian J. Stark

‘I’ve always just been a funny guy. I always told jokes.’

Patchogue

“I was in the Air Force during Korea. I served for four years as a medic. I got to go on a lot of helicopters and worked in the emergency room. I even delivered a baby.

“My wife had passed away in 2014. We were married over 50 years. It was just very sudden. We never expected it. I moved to Patchogue about three years ago. I still work, I just work from home now. I’ve been with the same company for over 30 years.

“I had non-Hodgkins which has been in remission for at least seven years now. It hasn’t come back, but I also have bladder cancer. That’s the type of cancer that just keeps giving.

“One day in 2017, I was watching “America’s Got Talent” and I said to myself, ‘Gee, I could do that.’ So, I told my daughter that I would need a ride to St. John’s University. She said, ‘you know, when you told me you were going to start doing comedy, I figured you were going you start off with retirement homes or something like that.’ I tried out and they all laughed, but they said I needed to polish up my material because I was a little bit too risqué for them.

I do what I do because if I can take people’s minds off their troubles and problems, even for a little while, it’s all worth it.

“I’ve always just been a funny guy. I always told jokes. At my very first show in Bohemia, I got a standing ovation. Two of my performances in Patchogue even sold out. Not saying it was because of me, but I seem to be getting some sort of following. People say they want to see me. The same year I started doing stand-up, Paul Anthony, who runs the AARP over 50 shows, had me try out for the AARP Funniest Comedian Contest. I was one of the winners and after that, he started putting me on a lot of his shows at theaters.

“I’ve been very lucky. I’ve been doing about two shows a week. I’ve done shows from Miami up to headlining at Mohegan Sun with veterans’ comedy assault, which is made up of all veterans.

“Before the pandemic, I had done shows for patients of the VA hospital and the homeless. I’ve performed at fundraisers for the VFW and the American Legion and was asked to perform at the Tunnel to Towers concert series.

“It has really been fun. And you know at my age, there aren’t too many of us. I only have one friend left from the old days. Now I’ve got all these new friends because I started doing comedy. I do what I do because if I can take people’s minds off their troubles and problems, even for a little while, it’s all worth it.”

Interviewed by Dan Offner

‘I was motivated to live differently, and I began experiencing many different joys that I had never felt before.’

Patchogue

“I came to the U.S. in the early 2000s because in Ecuador there was an economic collapse, and the country declared a state of crisis. There was no money circulating and no opportunity to get ahead. I worked in any job I could get, like a dishwasher, a delivery guy for Domino’s and a furniture mover. I was a tractor trailer driver for many years and would drive all over the country. I was considered an essential worker during the pandemic.

“On May 27, my truck flipped over on the highway while I was carrying a trailer. Luckily, people helped me get out of the truck. Different vertebrae in my back were fractured, and I also fractured my sternum, collar and ribs. After that, it was very difficult for me to walk or have any basic movement.

“During that time, I would think about my life. In Ecuador I owned a restaurant and always loved to cook. I’m 51, and I decided that this was my second chance at life; this time I was going to go for it and do it differently because life is so short. I decided to open Swan Latin Cuisine, a deli in Patchogue. We make Ecuadorian and Latin food.

I learned that you are able to start over and pursue goals at any age.

“There are so many little things that go into being a business owner that I never knew, so that was a big challenge. Swan Lake Park is nearby, and most of the businesses in the area start with the name Swan, so I decided to introduce the Latin cuisine into something that already exists to bridge everything. I also really like swans and wanted to keep the name in town!

“People from all different ethnicities have been coming together at my restaurant and I get to share my cooking with them. I’m really interested in people enjoying my food, especially my favorite thing to make, a soup called encebollado de pescado—a fish and onion soup-which is a very popular Ecuadorian dish. Before the accident, I did what needed to be done to pay the bills, but I wasn’t necessarily happy.

“Afterwards, I was motivated to live differently, and I began experiencing many different joys that I had never felt before. I learned that you are able to start over and pursue goals at any age. I hope that other people will pursue something that also makes them happy so they can experience those little joys in life too.”

‘Not only did we form a very unexpected relationship with our donor, but we’ve also formed relationships with many of the other moms who have used him.’

Patchogue

“Our experience using a known donor has been very positive because he’s an amazing person and he’s made the whole process very stressless. There did come a lot of unexpected things with having a known donor, and using the donor that we used specifically, because after us he started helping start families for a lot of other women, which ended up giving our son almost a hundred siblings all over the world — a large, extended family of brothers and sisters, some of which he has relationships with now, and some he’ll hopefully meet and have relationships with, if he chooses, as he gets older.

“At first, we didn’t know if we were going to use a known donor. We didn’t know that was an option. And through researching it, we found a known donor is a possible option when trying to conceive a child the way that we were doing it. And we still weren’t sure, even knowing that, that we wanted to have a person involved in the life of our child. We didn’t know legally how it would work. But once we found our donor, that’s what really changed our mind.

…using a known donor, especially the one we chose who doesn’t charge money and does it out of the goodness of their heart, ends up being extremely less stressful and you can just focus on starting a family.

“Starting a family as a same-sex couple, or a couple who is straight and faces fertility problems, is a very costly expense, especially in the United States, where it’s often not covered by many insurances and you have to pay out of pocket for most of the expenses needed to attempt to conceive a child. So, we found for us, and for a lot of people we know, using a known donor, especially the one we chose who doesn’t charge money and does it out of the goodness of their heart, ends up being extremely less stressful and you can just focus on starting a family.

“I think one of the most interesting parts of this whole thing is that not only did we form a very unexpected relationship with our donor, but we’ve also formed relationships with many of the other moms who have used him, moms from all walks of life. There began to become so many, that we all formed a social media group where we’re able to add new moms as we find them. And we don’t know what’s going to come of it…maybe even start expanding to real-life meetings and family events. It’s really endless possibilities, and we’re very excited about the future.”