‘Writing poetry helped me deal with the anger, sorrow, and grief that come with a life-altering illness.’

Sea Cliff

“When I was playing halfback for the New York Jets in the early 1970s, I had never heard of CTE [chronic traumatic encephalopathy], the often-degenerative neurological disease that afflicts football players after they retire. I learned the hard way when in 2016, at 65, I collapsed in the gym. I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. I have not been the same since. A wheelchair became a necessary means of transportation. I fell into deep despair.

“One summer day in 2017, I woke up in the morning with a sense of urgency. I had a visceral feeling that I was slipping away and had an intense desire to document what my life has meant to me. I wanted to confront my fears and express the grief that was roiling within me.

“I started writing in a journal and then composing essays. I found the process to be cathartic. Eventually, in addition to prose, I decided to try poetry. The lyrics of Leonard Cohen inspired me to begin morphing prose into poems and poems into songs.

My illness has certainly changed my life.

“Writing poetry helped me deal with the anger, sorrow and grief that come with a life-altering illness. To inspire others, I collected some of these writings into a book called ‘Head Hits I Remember: My Brain, Dysautonomia and Football.’

“For the past five years, I have been working with a physical therapist, and she has made a world of difference in my ability to function. While I can no longer climb mountains like I used to, I can usually walk distances with my titanium hiking poles. My endurance and balance have improved significantly. In my personal life, I sing publicly, meditate, care for three rescue cats, eat mindfully, sleep well and get the right amount of exercise. Plus, I have the perfect wife in Victoria!

“My illness has certainly changed my life. I have, in effect, reinvented myself. Instead of traveling the world, I am walking on our patios and exploring local trails. But there is a bright side. If I had not become ill, I would not be as sensitive to the beauty of ordinary things, the small miracles of life we often take for granted. I have accepted my ‘new normal’ and have discovered that there are silver linings to even the most difficult of circumstances. I am thankful for all I still can do and have learned to do!”

Interviewed by Saul Schachter

‘We hope to continue feeding anyone who comes to the farm stand.’

Sea Cliff

“During COVID, we opened our farm stand, and all vegetables were free. We did it in order to help support our neighbors who may have lost work during that time period. Some older folks looked like they were having a hard time, and we loaded them up with vegetables, too. It was also done to spread some cheer during a very difficult time. We are neighbors feeding neighbors.

The farm started when we moved to Sea Cliff in 1989, but it was only a vegetable garden. We both worked, so there was only so much we could do. The garden slowly expanded over the years. We began to plant fruit — dwarf apple, cherry and berry trees — and cultivated a big herb garden. As the internet began to offer more information on intensive gardening, we started growing our own food.

We share our food and our knowledge on how to grow with anyone interested.

“One summer, about 12 years ago, we had a garage sale. We were leaving the next day on vacation and decided to sell the rest of the vegetables, which would only go bad while we were away. All the produce was purchased immediately and the farm stand was born!

“We sell organic vegetables and herbs. We do not sell any of our berries, as we share these with the birds. One of our goals is to help others grow their own food in their yards.

“Any contribution of fresh organic vegetables and herbs generated by individuals will be the beginning of their journey toward growing their own food and becoming just a little more self-sufficient. Food is becoming increasingly more expensive and of poor quality due to the fertilizers and insecticides that are used.

“I believe health begins with the conditions we grow our food in, which includes good, uncontaminated soil, and with an organic methodology to try and control pests and fungus.

“Currently, we are expanding the edible sections as we think food is going to get really expensive. All money generated from the farm stand is plowed back into the micro-farm, and that helps to offset the cost. One year, we actually broke even!

“We hope to continue feeding anyone who comes to the farm stand. If conditions surface again that require it, we will go back to feeding our neighbors for free. We share our food and our knowledge on how to grow with anyone interested. We are happy to help the community!”

Interviewed by Saul Schachter

‘I hope to expand the tours to younger groups, such as high school students, so they can understand our Long Island history and its significance.’

Sea Cliff

“I found I needed to fill some of that extra time I had after I finished my stint as mayor of Sea Cliff. I became a tour guide. A few years back, I traveled to Charleston, South Carolina, and took a historic walking tour. I realized that Sea Cliff would be a wonderful place to guide tours.

“When I was conducting law classes for the resident seniors at the Atria assisted living facility in Glen Cove, I noticed that they had their own bus, so I asked the executive director, Diane Ziems, if I could give her residents a bus tour of Sea Cliff. They were so enthusiastic that they requested more tours! That got the ball rolling.

“I started giving tours to seniors in Sea Cliff. Each has its own unique story. All tours follow historic routes where landmarks and their history are discussed.

There seems to be a real camaraderie among the passengers … I’m so happy to be a tour guide.

“Besides the ‘Historic Sea Cliff’ tour, I now have the following trips, too: ‘George Washington’s Culper Spy Ring Tour Along Historic 25A’; ‘Sagamore Hill/Theodore Roosevelt Tour’ and ‘Robert Moses/Jones Beach Tour,’ and last but not least, a ‘Historic Roslyn & Great Neck Tour.’

“During this last excursion, one time I couldn’t find the house where the author F. Scott Fitzgerald once lived. I asked a few locals, and then it hit me: They didn’t have a clue what I was talking about! Happily, eventually, I was able to locate it.

“These tours are free with a nominal fee for a bag lunch. My experiences have been beyond a time-filler. Not only have I expanded my own knowledge on different historical subjects with research and exploring, but I have had the good fortune of meeting wonderful seniors — a group of which I am a member — who have had their own stories to tell. There seems to be a real camaraderie among the passengers. I have seen some holding hands as I’m lecturing on the subject. I’m so happy to be a tour guide.

“I hope to expand the tours to younger groups, such as high school students, so they can understand our Long Island history and its significance.”

Interviewed by Saul Schachter

‘Many people think this is just a business; to a lot of us, it’s more than that; it’s a ministry.’

Sea Cliff

“I’ve been a funeral director for more than 35 years. The COVID-19 pandemic was one of the most challenging times ever for funeral directors. It felt like a combination of September 11th and the AIDS crisis; this was worse. All of a sudden, there was a multitude of death. It was a short period of time when it all came crashing down upon us. I was scared and didn’t want to go to work, but that wasn’t an option. People were calling and I had to be there for them. I kept thinking, ‘If I touch the remains, will I get it?’ Nobody knew.

“A sense of duty kicked in. Many people think this is just a business; to a lot of us, it’s more than that; it’s a ministry. Funeral homes were inundated. Some firms had to turn people away. I do a smaller business and I was able to accommodate people who called me. I felt if I didn’t go when I was really needed, I don’t deserve to call myself a funeral director.

I look at what happened during the COVID-19 crisis and see how it underscored the importance of funeral rights and rituals. It’s very important to honor the deceased and have some kind of a ceremony where the community and loved ones come to support you.

“The rules varied from cemetery to cemetery. Some cemeteries were more compassionate than others. We were serving families in a way that felt as if we were letting them down. Our hands were tied. Their grief was exacerbated by not having the services they wanted. One of my dear friends died of COVID-19. He had worked in the funeral industry and always wanted a big funeral. When I went to his burial I couldn’t hug his son, and there were only four of us at the grave. Later, his son said to me, ‘I felt like we were all lepers.’ I will never forget that.

“It was the hardest time in my career. To get through this a little better, I was writing about it. I interviewed other funeral directors and asked what they were experiencing. I felt more connected, and I think it helped them to tell their stories as well. There is a grief counselor who wrote, ‘Funerals are what we do when we don’t know what to do. The elements of ritual combine, and it gives us something to work through.’ I look at what happened during the COVID-19 crisis and see how it underscored the importance of funeral rights and rituals. It’s very important to honor the deceased and have some kind of a ceremony where the community and loved ones come to support you. These rituals are tried and true and they’ve worked for us forever.”