‘Life feels very short right now. We need theater more than ever. That catharsis is necessary.’
“I was really excited about 2020. I had cool jobs lined up, like performing in ‘Legally Blonde’ as Paulette, but they were completely decimated, of course. I’m a musical theater performer, and now I am finding ways to create magic out of nothing. I’ve been doing recording work and I’m constantly in my closet with a microphone and buds in my ears singing something random. I’m thankful for that outlet because otherwise I think I would go crazy.
“I’m busy because there’s nowhere to run or hide in a one-bedroom with three people and a cat. I’m a teacher, cook, maid, wife, mommy, playmate, cruise director, craft manager…my day is so complicated because I’m like a secretary for my 6-year-old.
I know that when she looks back on this time, it will be one of the most magical, special moments in her life.
“I’m finding ways to be creative for her that I didn’t know existed. I know that when she looks back on this time, it will be one of the most magical, special moments in her life. That’s what comforts me when I feel despair or I’m mourning the loss of performing. I keep remembering this is not forever and she’s not going to be a little girl forever, so this is a gift.
“When the holidays began, I was singing Christmas songs to her, and I kept having flashbacks to doing ‘A Christmas Story’ and ‘Annie’ at the Engeman Theater; I couldn’t make it through without crying. I was supposed to be in ‘Mamma Mia!’ this past summer at the Argyle Theatre. The whole world would have come out to see that one, just like they did when I was in ‘Les Miserables’ on Broadway. My special Long Island family and friends came, including my junior high school teacher and teachers from Long Island High School for the Arts. These icons in my life shaped who I have become, so it was an incredible experience.
“Ultimately, I miss doing theater. My heart is broken. Theater has been my consistent, closest friend. There are days that I am distracted enough by being creative or doing a song and a dance to keep my family entertained, but most of the time there’s this undercurrent of sadness because I feel like my best friend is gone and I need her to come back. To have that piece of my puzzle gone is devastating. Life feels very short right now. We need theater more than ever. That catharsis is necessary.”