‘I met him in the Bijou on 110. It used to be a club. As soon as I looked at him, it was love at first sight. We were married for 19 and a half years.’

Bay Shore

“I met him in the Bijou on 110. It used to be a club. As soon as I looked at him, it was love at first sight. We were married for 19 and a half years. Larry was born with a congenital condition of his right arm. He woke up with a lump in his armpit. It was really bothering him. We were worried it was a blood clot. After two hours of waiting, the doctor told us to come back on Monday. That was on a Friday. So, on Saturday, Larry says he’s going to take it easy. He doesn’t go to work. As he’s home, I go to Costco. When I come back, he’s dead. That’s where my whole life does a spin around.

“I was 42. Larry was 44. I didn’t think I could live without him. I was in so much pain, emotionally, but also in pain physically. My chest hurt. My heart was broken. I didn’t want to live anymore. I had one night where honestly if my friend didn’t hear my page in the middle of the night, I don’t know if I would have made it through. I couldn’t even think of my kids. I was in so much pain.

After the second grief group I went to, I said, ‘If I ever get through this, I’m going to start my own group.’

“There’s a lot of secondary losses. Besides losing your best friend, you lose your income, your confidence, your normal routine; your dreams. You’re losing a partner to raise your kids with. You lose so much with that one person.

“After the second grief group I went to, I said, ‘If I ever get through this, I’m going to start my own group.’ I didn’t put it into fruition until one year after I was married again. I was in a good place. I didn’t go back for me; I went back to help other people. I called a church and said I was interested in doing bereavement to help young widows and widowers. She said, ‘I can’t believe you’re calling me.’ I was just praying for help with bereavement.

“They sent me for workshops. I went for two years, but after the first year they gave me a classroom. The groups kept growing. Every year, I have another idea. I have a group for COVID widows; for suicide widows. I have a dating group: A group for people who are widowed who don’t have children.

“I didn’t learn what to do for them out of a book. It came from my life. I have a place to take it from. And I always listen. I think that’s the biggest thing, listen to what people need.”

‘I want to tell my story because I’m not a cockroach. Even as a drug addict, I was worth more than that.’

Plainview

“I didn’t start out as a drug addict. I was a scholarship athlete and I went to culinary school. Then I had an accident in 1994 and had numerous operations. The doctors put me on painkillers. Afterwards, I knew I needed to be on them because they made me happy and allowed me not to think about my childhood. For the next 25 years, drugs became my safety net. I was being prescribed between 650 and 800 pills each month.

“Despite that, I never thought I was a drug addict. How could I be one? I have opened restaurants and been a chef in numerous restaurants. I had a doctor writing these prescriptions. I thought I was not a drug addict because addicts are people that you see begging for money with needles sticking out of their arms. I was not like that. I decided to get clean when I ran out of pills and called a friend to bring OxyContin. She came with a white bag saying it was OxyContin chopped up. After snorting it, I called her and discovered it was Fentanyl. I knew then that I was in trouble. I needed to get clean because it would all be downhill from there.

I think the stigma of drug addicts is wrong. Somebody told me that drug addicts are like cockroaches; I will never forget that somebody put me in the same category as a cockroach.

“On July 22, I will have been clean for four years. I have been with my wife for 20 years and she would say, ‘I know you’re in there somewhere. I just have to find a way to get you out.’ I think the stigma of drug addicts is wrong. Somebody told me that drug addicts are like cockroaches; I will never forget that somebody put me in the same category as a cockroach. I’m an established woman living on Long Island and I helped raise my wife’s three kids, so I have to be doing something right. Now, my relationship with my children is amazing.

“They know my struggles and they talk to me about them. I want to tell my story because I’m not a cockroach. Even as a drug addict, I was worth more than that. Addicts are good people, we just have a disease, and fortunately some people are strong enough to walk away from it. It took me so many overdoses, failures and withdrawals to get this right. You have to want to be clean. This will always be a part of my life. My liver and pancreas are failing. I’m 53 and I don’t want to die. I’m not ready to go, but if my story gets out and it can help one person, then it’s been worth it.”

‘People assume someone’s college choice is a reflection of their intelligence and their abilities; I know it’s more than that.’

Valley Stream

“People assume someone’s college choice is a reflection of their intelligence and their abilities; I know it’s more than that. My top college choices were out of my family’s price range, even with scholarships. My high school GPA was a 107.36, and I finished sixth out of 206 in my graduating class. I was the only student on Long Island awarded the Horatio Alger National Scholarship, an award for academic success and outstanding leadership despite going through difficult life challenges. Even with the prestigious award, the cost was just too much. It was difficult to see my peers committing to big private schools that I couldn’t attend. It took a long time to get over that.

“I felt like I had worked so hard, and I was well over the SUNY requirements for SAT scores-even for the honors colleges. In a way, I felt like I was letting myself down, but then I came to terms with the fact that I was still going to get the same education. I would also get paid to go to a SUNY because the scholarship money was too much for them.

I learned that no matter where you go, as long as it’s the right place for you, you’ll make yourself at home and enjoy yourself.

“I love it at University at Albany. I learned that no matter where you go, as long as it’s the right place for you, you’ll make yourself at home and enjoy yourself. I wish somebody had told me that when I was stressing out about it and feeling badly. Now I know that it was the best choice for me. I’m in the honors college and I’m a digital forensics major with a minor in informatics. Choosing a college showed me that sometimes you have to be mature about a situation and think about where you’ll be in the next ten years.

“At any moment, you may feel like the world is ending and that a choice is going to ruin the rest of your life. I chose to think about how, in 10 years, I will have my degree; maybe I will go for my master’s. I know that I will be happy with whatever I decide to do. I finished the first semester of college with a 4.0, despite being in complete lockdown because of COVID. It definitely impacted the way that I made relationships. It was hard to make connections with professors, which is something that I really valued in high school, but I know I’m getting a good education and that I’m continuing to make a second home.”

‘I learned early on what racism was because I was bullied for being Chinese in elementary school.’

Long Island

“I learned early on what racism was because I was bullied for being Chinese in elementary school. It was very difficult, because I would tell the lunch lady and she would say, ‘Ignore it or just tell the boys to stop.’ But of course, they didn’t. It was difficult learning at a young age that I was being bullied because of something I was born as. And that kind of takes away some of your innocence, to realize that at such a young age. I kind of learned that it wasn’t great to be different and Chinese, because I would get bullied for it. I didn’t want to be Chinese. But obviously you can’t change that. It wasn’t until I got to college that I learned to embrace my heritage. I went to the University of Michigan and there were a lot of Asians there, a lot of Asians who were proud and happy to be who they were. I started taking Asian studies classes, I joined Asian student groups and really connected in a way I hadn’t growing up because of the lack of diversity. I have a blog and I also started writing picture books, which have Asian American themes to it. I really wanted to do that not only because of my interest in writing, but to share with other children the Chinese culture in a way I never saw.

I never knew when I was younger, I would end up writing. I didn’t see it was a possibility because I didn’t see anyone who looked like me in the writing world.

“I never saw books that had Asian characters or talked about Chinese culture. I want to be able to show a new generation, whether they’re Asian or not, about different cultures. You don’t have to be Chinese to read a book about Chinese New Year—it’s interesting whatever your background is. I’m thrilled to see this journey of self-acceptance and I’m trying to pass it on to my kids. I never knew when I was younger, I would end up writing. I didn’t see it was a possibility because I didn’t see anyone who looked like me in the writing world. Sometimes life finds a way to bring you to where you’re supposed to be.”

‘My passion for ‘Harry Potter’ has helped me see the magic in everyday life. It has also allowed me to share that magic with my students, who now get to go on the same adventures.’

Baldwin

“I instantly connected with the ‘Harry Potter’ series because I loved the fantasy aspect of it. When I was 9, I picked up the first book and couldn’t put it down. It’s adventurous, plus I identified with Hermione. It escalated into something more when I was in high school. I would plan midnight showing parties of the films with my friends. I started listening to a Harry Potter podcast and would frequent Mugglenet.com. I found people online who would want to talk about the series, so we would chat on Skype.

“I started listening to cool Wizard Rock groups like Harry and the Potters and Draco and the Malfoys. I went to Terminus, my first Harry Potter convention, in 2008 in Chicago. (I brought my dad with me because I wasn’t old enough to be at the hotel by myself!) I also went to LeakyCon in Boston and the NYC Wizard Rock Festival in Brooklyn, which is exactly as dorky as you would imagine. A big theme throughout the books is the power of love and friendship, along with trying your best and not doubting your own abilities.

A big theme throughout the books is the power of love and friendship, along with trying your best and not doubting your own abilities. As an educator, I realize that those are values that can easily be transferred to the classroom.

“As an educator, I realize that those are values that can easily be transferred to the classroom. I love being able to introduce students to ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’ because it obviously made an impact on my life. I have used Harry Potter as a behavior management system in my English classes. I have the four house flags and divide the students into houses. Participation and critical thinking allows them to earn points, while disruptions deduct points. Students encourage each other to behave and participate. I dress up and bring props like a Mirror of Erised and a mechanical sorting hat. I put students on a stool and they wear the hat to get sorted.

“When McGonagall gives her big speech, I wear a robe and practice my Scottish accent. I even have a small Harry Potter lightning bolt tattoo because it has had significant meaning to me for the past 20 years. My passion for ‘Harry Potter’ has helped me see the magic in everyday life. It has helped me make connections with people around the U.S. and find common ground with them. It has also allowed me to share that magic with my students, who now get to go on the same adventures.”

‘I call them my furry inmates and they have a decent life, but it could be better. I feel bad for them because they deserve to be in a loving home.’

Bethpage

“I’m a member of the medical staff at Rikers Island, and in my spare time, I trap cats there for TNR – trap, neuter, return. I have worked there for 22 years and we always had a feral cat population on the island.

“A retired correction captain is still involved and comes onto the island a few days a week to do cat rescue. She said, ‘We could use your help.’ That kind of changed my life. I was bitten by the cat rescue bug.

“We’re called Rikers Island Cat Rescue, a 501c3; we have a Facebook page and we’re short-staffed. COVID threw a monkey wrench; it was a ‘cat-tastrophe’ because the ASPCA had offered us free neuter services, but they closed down during kitten season, so all these kittens were being born.

“We try to get the population under fairly good control, but people dump unwanted cats here. They figure they get fed here and we have shelters.

“Thankfully, the ASPCA reopened and we were able to work out some mass trappings with 30 cats in September, then we did another operation in November, another 27 cats.

I started making winter cat houses and feral cat feeding stations and selling them to donate the profits to the cat rescue. I can’t keep up with the demand — someone saw a picture of the cat house I built and asked to buy one, and it spread by word-of-mouth.

“Right now, we’re running out of food. We go through 1,000 pounds of food per month. We estimate there are 350 cats and there are other critters that come around that eat the food. I started making winter cat houses and feral cat feeding stations and selling them to donate the profits to the cat rescue. I can’t keep up with the demand — someone saw a picture of the cat house I built and asked to buy one, and it spread by word-of-mouth.

“About 60 percent of the cats on the island are neutered, but 40 percent are not and that can change very rapidly. One female has a litter, and the kittens can get pregnant at 4 months and it grows exponentially.

“We have a cat house with 28 cats in there now, they were dumped, they were someone’s pets, and they don’t do well in the feral communities. We take them in and get them neutered and we try to get them adopted, but we’re so busy doing the caretaking of the colonies and the TNR that we’re slacking on the adoption process.

“I call them my furry inmates and they have a decent life, but it could be better. I feel bad for them because they deserve to be in a loving home.”

‘I know there are people like me who are incredibly talented but not working and that’s not right, so I decided to do something about it.’

Port Washington

“I am a very specific type. Because of who I am and what I look like, there’s not much out there. The last theater gig I got was the Off-Broadway lab of ‘Fat Camp.’ I know there are people like me who are incredibly talented but not working and that’s not right, so I decided to do something about it. “My mentor, Broadway’s Steve Rosen, taught me that you need to create your own opportunities, so I came up with a comedic theatrical trio called ‘The Heavyweights.’ I wanted to create a show that truly features people that look like me, so ‘The Heavyweights’ helps to answer the questions: Why can’t the Phantom be 350 pounds? Why is the fat guy always the butt of the joke and he can’t get the girl? Why do the fat guys never have motor skills in a musical?

“We’re capable of having emotion and doing everything everyone else can. The ‘Heavyweights’ did ‘Little Shop of Horrors,’ which consisted of me and two other guys that look like me literally doing every role in the show. We all played Audrey, we all played Seymour. It was incredible.

Until the world is okay with someone who has a little more bone on their body being the star, it is what it is. I’m going to continue to enjoy doing The ‘Heavyweights’ and voiceovers because it doesn’t matter what you look like.

“Because I don’t look a certain way, I know that I must put in the work. My voiceover work started when I would make sounds and weird noises as a kid. I was an only child and I had to keep myself entertained. The first big voiceover work for me was the giggle of the Pillsbury Doughboy for two years. I also originated a character on Nick Jr.’s ‘Nella the Princess Knight.’ As a way to distract myself during the quarantine I would make silly videos on TikTok as @theejeremygeller, and I randomly had 31,000 followers.

“I realized that people are laughing at my stupid humor. Without creativity in the world, artists have to have an outlet somewhere. Making people laugh is a consolation for me! That’s me. I’m realistic in knowing who I am and I’m not trying to change for anyone. I was given great advice: ‘If you want to change, change for yourself. Only do it for you.’ I like who I am. I don’t want to be a crunchy leading man.

“Until the world is okay with someone who has a little more bone on their body being the star, it is what it is. I’m going to continue to enjoy doing The ‘Heavyweights’ and voiceovers because it doesn’t matter what you look like.”

‘I believe that the support that I got from my disability encouraged me to support others.’

Wyandanch

“When I was born, I was a big baby. Like 9 pounds. And the doctors at that time, they used forceps. The doctor, instead of pulling my neck, he pulled my arm, and he damaged the nerves in my right arm. So, I’ve lived with Erb’s palsy all my life. It is technically a handicap, but I never thought of it that way. My parents never put that in my head. My father was a strong African American man. He served in the army. He was a Suffolk County police officer. He always told me that I can do whatever I wanted to. Between him and my mom, they never put limitations on me. I would ride bikes with my brother and climb trees.

“I am a teaching assistant. I’ve been there for 23 years. But a lot of the wonderful teachers that I work with, they’ve always said, ‘You’re the teacher, go ahead, do your thing.’ But I owe my teaching experience from my sister. She’s my oldest sister. She was very protective. And it was always a teaching moment in the house. I think it was destined for her to be a teacher before she became a teacher. If you said something wrong, she’d correct the grammar or something like that. It’s like a lot of things that I have learned watching her, I put it into the children.

She always told the kids, ‘You are Kings and Queens. You can do whatever you want to do, you just have to put your mind to it.’ The same things she used to tell me when I was little.

“She was a kindergarten teacher at the school that I presently work at. She always told the kids, ‘You are Kings and Queens. You can do whatever you want to do, you just have to put your mind to it.’ The same things she used to tell me when I was little. She was a gem. The school that I work at, she went from being a teacher to an assistant principal. When she passed away, she was the assistant principal. And we have a garden at the school for her. She’s there with me every day. She just touched so many lives.

“I believe that the support that I got from my disability encouraged me to support others. It pushes me to say, ‘I did it with support. I’m putting good out there. You can do the same thing. You can better yourself.’ And that’s what I got from my dad. That’s what I got from my sister. Always striving to go to the next level. And I think it’s all divinely carved for me.”

‘We try to keep a positive attitude about things even in the darkest times.’

Long Island

“My daughter Cadence is 15 and suffers from a rare condition, FoxG1 syndrome, a neurological disorder that makes her non-verbal and non-ambulatory, we do all the lifting, all the transferring. Cadence is one of 900 in the world to have FoxG1, she’s a rare gem. It’s amazing how much the gene controls everything in your body. It’s a doorway to so many other genetic disorders. How you retain things, how your body moves, how you eat, how you communicate. Not being able to say I’m in pain, I have a stomachache, it’s a huge issue. She has three types of seizures that are controlled with medication, she has 15 specialists. My house is full of equipment and we learn to work around it and be grateful that we have it.

Cadence is my whole world and I’m very involved in the special needs community, helping new parents entering this new scary world.

“Now that she’s a teenager, we’re dealing with that whole other issue of changing into an adult. I volunteer at Good Samaritan Hospital talking about feeding tubes, letting parents know that it’s not a bad thing, it’s actually a good thing and it can save your child’s life. It took my husband and I three years to come to the conclusion that Cadence needs a feeding tube. Cadence is my whole world and I’m very involved in the special needs community, helping new parents entering this new scary world.

“I’m a volunteer parent advocate in our school district, letting parents know what your child is entitled to with an IEP. That label entitles your child to getting more services. I’m involved in Angela’s House, which gives support to families with medically frail children. At age 3, Cadence joined, they were a huge shoulder to lean on. They helped us get a fully handicap accessible bathroom, we have a lift in front of our house. They found a family who was donating a huge conversion van and they donated that to us. We’re now involved with Breakthrough Intensive Physical Therapy in Islandia, using bungie cords so these children can weight bare.

“Cadence is taking independent steps, she is weight baring, shifting her weight. We still live our lives, we go swimming, we go to the beach. We try to keep a positive attitude about things even in the darkest times. It’s ok to feel alone, these feelings are normal and it’s ok to reach out and get that support.”

‘As a family doctor at Northwell Plainview Hospital, I’ve worn all three hats — as a COVID patient, as a family member of a patient who didn’t make it through COVID and as a provider who sees COVID on a daily basis.’

Westbury

“As a family doctor at Northwell Plainview Hospital, I’ve worn all three hats — as a COVID patient, as a family member of a patient who didn’t make it through COVID and as a provider who sees COVID on a daily basis.

“I had it myself in March and after seven days in, I was asking, ‘Why am I not getting better?’ I kept coughing. I felt so short of breath and I felt so tired.

“Then I started thinking about my 8-month-old daughter at that time. ‘Am I going to be able to make it to see her graduate kindergarten?’ I was hearing all these stories of people dying overnight. I called employee health services after three days of being fever free and said, ‘I want to go back to work.’ I was still very tired, very fatigued, but this is what I signed up for, and I wanted to get back in it.

“The fear was less, I knew I survived it, but then my grandfather was brought to the hospital the week after. He was in a nursing home and he ended up in the ICU and we said goodbye to him. He was 77, and he didn’t make it.

“That gave me that experience of having a family member who passed and it’s a comforting thing for my patients. There’s that human aspect to it. Then about three or four months, later my mother-in-law in Puerto Rico got it. We made it to her bedside, she seemed to improve, but then she didn’t make it overnight. She had a heart attack at 59.

My advice to patients is find new ways of being positive. I’m very carpe diem in everything.

“It’s been especially tough now during the holidays and we’re trying to keep her spirit alive. The baby’s a godsend because as she’s growing, she is starting to understand things and we’re trying to stay happy for her.

“With the vaccines, I use the analogy with patients: Do you drive a car without a spare tire? Or do you go in the deep end without knowing how to swim?

“I’ve lost most of my antibodies and if I can get another layer of protection outside of my PPE, this is the reason I took the vaccine. My advice to patients is find new ways of being positive. I’m very carpe diem in everything. I did that with my grandfather and my mother-in-law. I made sure that each moment we were together, I thought, ‘What can we do to create a moment?’

“I think if the population does that, they won’t be steered wrong.”

The person profiled here has been a guest on Newsday Live.

Interviewed by Rachel O’Brien – Morano