Faces of Long Island celebrates the uniqueness of everyday Long Islanders. In their own words, they tell us about their life experiences, challenges and triumphs. Newsday launched this social media journey into the human experience to shine a light on the diverse people of this wonderful place we call home.

‘I think that’s what my message is to people: It could be on your chart, but it doesn’t have to define you.’

Blue Point

“In 2004, I had completely debilitating exhaustion and blaring headaches where I would see spots. I was diagnosed with lesions on my brain. It was overwhelming because I watched an uncle die of progressive MS. I had lost my eyesight with MS six years ago for months. I said, ‘If I ever get my sight back, I am not going to miss a sunrise.’ So, there we are, zero degrees, out there catching it. I think when you go through really challenging times, it either consumes you or it catapults you into appreciating life.

People aren’t taught about self-care and that you can really change your life with what you eat, how you exercise, your mindfulness.

“I have a really great analogy that I’ve always told my kids because we grew up at the beach. When a wave is coming at you, if you just take a breath and dunk under the wave, you go through the calmest part and pop up the other side. Then the next wave comes and you’re not out of breath. So, my philosophy is as those waves of challenges come at you, you have to take a deep breath and dive in it.

“People aren’t taught about self-care and that you can really change your life with what you eat, how you exercise, your mindfulness. If someone told you, you have a lifelong diagnosis, it’s crippling. So, you learn to take it in 24-hour increments. And I think that’s what my message is to people: It could be on your chart, but it doesn’t have to define you.

“I’m a huge gym person. I go six days a week. And then in the morning when I take the dog for a couple of loops around the block, we go to the beach and I do my meditation and morning prayer. If my legs are extra fatigued, I will sit in a chair and do leg lifts with my bands. The days I feel good, I’m like, ‘All right, what can I do?’ It’s important that whatever muscles you do have, strengthen them, because if your legs don’t work and you have to use a walker, you’ve got to have that upper body strength. We can rewire our brains to overcome the deficiencies that MS causes. I feel like I’m a walking testament of that.

“Someone who’s been living with multiple sclerosis and was a professional bodybuilder, he’s like, ‘You ever consider getting your own certification?’ So, I did go back to school and got my certification for personal training. Here I am almost 50 and I’m starting something new — so it’s exciting!”

‘As I grew, my passion for dance remained. It is really the most pure form of expression and sanity for me.’

Bellmore

“My mom and I always joke that it was from the womb. She danced until she was eight months pregnant with me. From what they’ve told me, I always had an inclination towards rhythm and music. When I was 3, my mom put me on stage for the first time. I fell in love with the dance part of it. I don’t see an audience. It’s a strange thing, but I’m grateful for it because it allows me to immerse myself completely, and I don’t know who’s out there. Between muscle memory and being so absorbed in the art and expressing myself in it, it’s like a blur.

“As I grew, my passion for dance remained. It is really the most pure form of expression and sanity for me. It’s the way I realize any kind of emotion I’m feeling. It keeps me grounded in a sort of reality and is this thing I know is always stable in my life, no matter what else is going on. It’s always there. It reminds me of who I am. It’s my way of seeing what’s happening with me, who I am at my core. This is the thing I don’t have to work at. It’s a natural extension of me.

That unspoken connection through dance, it translates to everyday life. I don’t have to say a word, whether with dance or anything else, and she knows. And vice versa.

“My mom started this school; her specialty is folk dance. As I grew and learned different types of dance, we started evolving because more people my age are bringing their kids. We found a happy medium, where we’ll still do semi-classical, we’ll do folk dances, and I’ll add the things I’ve learned — some contemporary, some jazz, some ballet turns. A lot of our pieces have this amalgamation of genres.

“I’m grateful it allows me to learn from my mom and to teach my mom certain things, and we both get to do something we love so deeply. My mom and I were always close, our relationship is strong at its base but this really strengthens that bond. We’ve gotten to a point where we just need to look at each other to know what the next choreography is going to be. I love that. That unspoken connection through dance, it translates to everyday life. I don’t have to say a word, whether with dance or anything else, and she knows. And vice versa.”

‘I wanted to see these stories come to life. I realized I could make them into movies instead of just talking about them.’

Hempstead

“My friend’s father had a video camera, and through playing with it I taught myself filmmaking. If it wasn’t for him, I would never have known about the art form. That’s how I was bitten by the bug.

“I have always been a storyteller. I would play Dungeons & Dragons and be the Dungeon Master. I would tell these great stories. For me, it was easy. I wanted to see these stories come to life. I realized I could make them into movies instead of just talking about them.

“After studying film in school, I moved to LA to try to follow that dream but it didn’t work out, so I moved back to Long Island and got involved in the independent film movement in ‘ ’95. I had to make a living because independent film doesn’t pay much, and I had gotten married and had kids.

“I ended up working for North Shore University Hospital (now Northwell Health). During the winter months, I would do payroll for them, but during the summers I would get the call from someone in the film industry about current projects. I would go back and forth between jobs.

“I have been working in healthcare now for 20 years. I was lucky enough to work with Fred Carpenter on two of his films. He liked my style, so he made me one of the producers on his second film, ‘Send No Flowers.’ I brought on Sean Young and we shot on locations that I found in Huntington and Holbrook.

You have to do these projects for the love of it. You need to roll up your sleeves, because if you really want to do something you can’t let anything get in your way.

“Now I am an author as well. I had written a film that would have cost millions to fund, but then I had the great idea of turning that script into a book called ‘Gods’. I’m currently working on the sequel.

“The best part of my careers is meeting different people and getting to know their stories. I started a podcast, The Quidditas Factor, when the lockdown happened. Quidditas is a Latin word that means ‘the essence of a person.’ I wanted to know why one person is famous and another person is not. What work ethic do they have to have to make it? I want to find out their secrets, how they live their lives, and what they believe in. I interview actors, producers, writers and directors.

“You have to do these projects for the love of it. You need to roll up your sleeves, because if you really want to do something you can’t let anything get in your way.”

‘I was always prepared to put in the hard work, but I don’t know if I necessarily had the patience. It’s a muscle that I’ve really grown by doing this.’

Valley Stream

“When I was growing up, I always had dogs. I lived in various parts of London and I would take my dogs to the park and run them off leash. There was no such thing as a park that wouldn’t allow dogs; they are almost considered little people there, so I was shocked when I got my first dog as a resident of Valley Stream 15 years ago. It was pretty much impossible to find places to walk them off leash.

“Secondly, if I walked my dog on local streets on a leash, a lot of people shouted and glared at me because they were scared that I wouldn’t pick up after him. I decided that I needed to become more active locally.

“My feeling was if I could open a door in the Town of Hempstead, then we could use that door as an example for other towns in Nassau. When I proposed the idea for a dog park, about eight people were also interested in creating it, so we formed Friends of Valley Stream Dogs to lobby the village. It didn’t take long for the village to agree to doing it, but then it took two years before it was decided where to put it, how to build it, and to fundraise.

I do everything for the sake of the dogs.

“We worked cooperatively with the village to get it put together. In the past five years, people have become much better about being dog owners. The next step is to get the parks to be open for dogs on a leash. If people don’t pick up after their dogs, take that privilege away from them.

“To not even give dog owners that option is pure nimbyism, and we need to push back against that. In Suffolk they have opened many parks for dogs on leash and they have only had good news. In the meantime, Friends of Valley Stream Dogs tries to get people engaged with dog rescues. We have a Facebook page, which is a meeting place for dog owners and helps people when their dogs go missing. We also help the Village of Valley Stream run a dog pool party after the pool closes on Labor Day. Our Halloween doggy dress up event is always very successful.

“I do everything for the sake of the dogs. Getting the dog park constructed has given me more patience to do the hard work to turn passion into something concrete. I was always prepared to put in the hard work, but I don’t know if I necessarily had the patience. It’s a muscle that I’ve really grown by doing this.”

‘I got pregnant at 19 years old, and I said, ‘I’m becoming a stereotype.’ I wanted to break the cycle.’

Huntington Station

“My mom was 16 when she had me and I grew up in poor sections of Glen Cove. My mom has limited education. She was also addicted to drugs and my father was as well and in-and-out of jail my whole life. But my Mom always instilled in me to get an education and make something of myself; get myself out of the hood.

“I got pregnant at 19 years old, and I said, ‘I’m becoming a stereotype.’ I wanted to break the cycle. I wanted to show my children and my youngest cousins how we can be something more.

“I was part of a mothers group and after the sessions, I felt ostracized because they’d get into their huddles and talk and I’d be off to the side as the only black woman. The meeting leader asked for a volunteer to lead the group, I raised my hand, she acknowledged me, but I wouldn’t hear from her and she’d keep asking for leaders at the meetings. I approached her after a meeting, and she had no choice but to take me up on my offer.

I made sure they would never underestimate a black mother again and they hired me to become a facilitator to model other centers.

“I had to do something for my family and for black people and I vowed to be one of those voices. I made that location of National Association of Mothers Centers be a model center. I made sure they would never underestimate a black mother again and they hired me to become a facilitator to model other centers. I realized how powerful my voice was. I landed at an organization called Every Child Matters, advocating for children’s issues.

“I started to use my story of growing up in childhood poverty and motiving people to become advocates for policies that needed their voice. I published a book in 2019 called ‘Poverty’s Phoenix,’ a memoir about surviving childhood poverty.

“In all this, I noticed black folks were working together and white folks were working together, there was a lot of segregation. So, I started both the Women’s Diversity Network and the Long Island Black Alliance, a multigenerational and multicultural group to make lives better for black people on Long Island.

“You don’t have to be a victim to your circumstances, you can feel the strength and power to break these generational curses.”

‘Growing up in my parents’ restaurant, you take in everything, helping out in every way.’

Glen Cove

“Growing up in my parents’ restaurant, El Tazumal in Glen Cove, you take in everything, helping out in every way. The food is Salvadorian staples, pupusas, eggs, plantains. Everything is homemade.

“My parents came here in 1977 or 1978, they were from the countryside and they had land, but it got taken away from them when the war began and it got dangerous.

“Both my grandmas were awesome cooks. I learned the basics from them, soups and stocks. They would make a lot of different cuts of meats that not everyone eats, beef’s tongue or pig’s feet, but it was so good.

“My parents’ business is mostly a to-go business, serving Salvadorians immigrants who often don’t have kitchens, so I know how to expedite the food and get it out. At 19, I left my parents’ restaurant, and got a job in an assisted living facility working mostly with frozen and canned stuff, but I learned a lot of ingredients and basic recipes.

“Then I started working at busy French and Italian restaurants on the weekend. I’ve been cooking for 20 years, and I learned a lot from Long Island being multicultural and all the great chefs I worked with.

‘Do you want to cook for the rest of your life or do you want to be a chef?’

“I worked at Prime in Huntington for years, started as a cook, and Chef Gregg Lauletta asked me, ‘Do you want to cook for the rest of your life or do you want to be a chef?’ He was kind of mentoring me, made me sous-chef and from there, I went to other restaurants and then to Tellers Chophouse in Islip.

“Waterzooi opened a new place in Port Washington and they hired me as the new chef de cuisine and we were doing really well for the first two months and then COVID happened. I’ve been working six days a week, doubles through the pandemic, doing to-go orders, and outdoor dining. Waterzooi is a Belgian bistro. The signature dish is a Belgian fish, we sell tons of mussels and lobsters.

“Chefs would come to me for the plating. I love colors, so I’m always daydreaming about colors and dishes. I learned a lot from the chefs I worked with, people who didn’t look anything up. They just knew it. But the creativity is all me.”

‘Life feels very short right now. We need theater more than ever. That catharsis is necessary.’

Island Park

“I was really excited about 2020. I had cool jobs lined up, like performing in ‘Legally Blonde’ as Paulette, but they were completely decimated, of course. I’m a musical theater performer, and now I am finding ways to create magic out of nothing. I’ve been doing recording work and I’m constantly in my closet with a microphone and buds in my ears singing something random. I’m thankful for that outlet because otherwise I think I would go crazy.

“I’m busy because there’s nowhere to run or hide in a one-bedroom with three people and a cat. I’m a teacher, cook, maid, wife, mommy, playmate, cruise director, craft manager…my day is so complicated because I’m like a secretary for my 6-year-old.

I know that when she looks back on this time, it will be one of the most magical, special moments in her life.

“I’m finding ways to be creative for her that I didn’t know existed. I know that when she looks back on this time, it will be one of the most magical, special moments in her life. That’s what comforts me when I feel despair or I’m mourning the loss of performing. I keep remembering this is not forever and she’s not going to be a little girl forever, so this is a gift.

“When the holidays began, I was singing Christmas songs to her, and I kept having flashbacks to doing ‘A Christmas Story’ and ‘Annie’ at the Engeman Theater; I couldn’t make it through without crying. I was supposed to be in ‘Mamma Mia!’ this past summer at the Argyle Theatre. The whole world would have come out to see that one, just like they did when I was in ‘Les Miserables’ on Broadway. My special Long Island family and friends came, including my junior high school teacher and teachers from Long Island High School for the Arts. These icons in my life shaped who I have become, so it was an incredible experience.

“Ultimately, I miss doing theater. My heart is broken. Theater has been my consistent, closest friend. There are days that I am distracted enough by being creative or doing a song and a dance to keep my family entertained, but most of the time there’s this undercurrent of sadness because I feel like my best friend is gone and I need her to come back. To have that piece of my puzzle gone is devastating. Life feels very short right now. We need theater more than ever. That catharsis is necessary.”

‘The biggest thing for me is that they still have memories with him. And if the memory starts to fade, we have the pictures.’

Hicksville

“My parents would do the snowbird thing where they’d be here most of the year and then in winter, they’d have the warmth of India. My kids were six and four and I thought it was the time to take the boys to India and visit them at their house, as well as other sites. My wife couldn’t get off work, so she said, ‘No, no, no.’ And I said, ‘I don’t want to wait. Life is short, and we keep talking about doing it.’ It’s funny, because everybody around me thought I was crazy! While India has improved, it’s still kind of a third-world country. And so, to take a six and a four-year-old who know nothing about the country…and the endeavor of a father doing it. I’ll be the first to admit I’m impulsive. I’m like that in many aspects of my life. Once I jump in, I jump in, but I’m telling you there was something about this that I just felt needed to be done. And so, the three of us went and it was this epic journey for us.

And it’s so profound how in this digital world, that mental picture seems to be more important, or remembered, more than any of the actual hard pictures that we took on that trip.

“We had an amazing time in Mumbai. We went to some remote places to see temples. There was one in particular; it encompasses Indian culture, religion, architecture. Every aspect summed up into one big complex that you walk through. It was very educational, but mostly the thing that stands out — it was literally the last location that we saw my dad. And it is so strict with their policy of pictures that it was the one place we couldn’t take our cameras. So, we did this thing where we took a minute to take a mental picture. And today, so that’s three years later, we still talk about the mental picture. And it’s so profound how in this digital world, that mental picture seems to be more important, or remembered, more than any of the actual hard pictures that we took on that trip.

“We came back and my mother called me. He had a heart attack and he passed away. He was a very soft-natured man that was all about kids and connecting on their level. In our language, grandfather is ‘dada.’ They would actually call him ‘funny dada’ because he was really funny and playful. They loved him. It was just beautiful. And that’s the biggest thing for me is that they still have memories with him. And if the memory starts to fade, we have the pictures.”

‘The biggest thing for us was that they couldn’t promise she would ever leave the hospital. We said, ‘how is that fair to a child who deserves the best, if she could never come home and have that with us?’

Ronkonkoma

“We found out I was pregnant in March of 2017. Everything was going pretty good. There were no indications anything was wrong. When I went for my anatomy scan, they had seen some things that were kind of concerning. We met with the doctor after the ultrasounds and they had seen a growth on her neck. They knew it was growing and with that came complications. If it was the better case of scenarios, it would be a high-risk pregnancy, but she would come home and live a fairly normal life.

“It ended up not being the better case. It ended up being a cervical lymphangioma. It was growing into the lymph nodes and muscles and tissues around her neck.

“My husband and I looked at each other in that meeting and knew what we were going to do, even though we didn’t say the words yet. The biggest thing for us was that they couldn’t promise she would ever leave the hospital. We said, how is that fair to a child who deserves the best, if she could never come home and have that with us?

I decided every year around her due date, I would offer sessions to other parents who lost a child.

“Being a newborn photographer, that wasn’t something I wanted to go back to right away. When I went back, we had to share what happened with everyone, it wasn’t something we could hide. In the long run, it helped me heal. It’s helped me become an advocate for child loss and infant loss. I decided every year around her due date, I would offer sessions to other parents who lost a child. It allows me to talk about my daughter and them to talk about their children. I know how much it means to them.

“I found out I was having my daughter Morgan on Nov. 27, when Amelia would have been born Nov. 28. Morgan came Aug. 13, about three weeks after Amelia had her first birthday. I suffered greatly from postpartum depression for about four months. I think losing Amelia and getting pregnant so quickly, there was guilt, grief and it was hard to bond. I didn’t feel what everyone said I would feel. There was a lot of going through the motions and coming to terms with those feelings. It’s not that I didn’t love her, it was just hard to get out of that fog. But I’ll never forget when Morgan turned four weeks old and she smiled for the first time. It was like nothing else mattered.”

‘If you put your best foot forward, kids see that and can build resolve. Don’t stop doing; don’t stop being productive.’

Deer Park

“My parents divorced when I was young; it was a messy situation for both of them. I decided to play sports to keep me active and mentally focused.

“I have two uncles on my Dad’s side, who I admired, one, a guidance counselor. On my Mom’s side, my aunt is an OBGYN nurse practitioner.

“I was always split down the middle with what I wanted to do, and I always had those two as a point of reference when I decided I wanted to study psychology. Now I’m a school psychologist and assistant coach for boys’ varsity basketball.

“I was feeling my way around for a while, working for several BOCES programs, working at a day care, and summer camps. I met a lot of kids and was able to influence them positively — I’ve always had rapport with kids.

I had a family friend who had delayed speech, and I was one of the only other people besides her Mom, who could talk to her and translate. I think I took a liking to it.

“I’m still able to influence the kids who struggle and try with those who don’t make it consistently to school. When coaching, kids are able to see me in a different light, a different role with basketball. I tell them that emotionality and rationality are mutually exclusive. Those two things can’t happen at the same time; although hard, you have to try and take your emotions out of things to be precise with decision making.

“Now with COVID-19, we’ve taken away sports. I looked forward to it. It’s a grind, but it actually gives me a sense of purpose and a sense of camaraderie. We try to keep it as normal as possible for the students. Some students I work with have kind of given up, and my heart hurts for them. Routine and consistency are good for us, and we’re creatures of habit, so if we break that, our being is like, ‘What do we do now?’

Kids are going to model what they see; if you’re in flux and panic, kids are going to display that too.

“I see they’re down and it’s disheartening to see, and there are adults in that same mindset. Kids are going to model what they see; if you’re in flux and panic, kids are going to display that too. I try to negate that when I meet with them.

“If you put your best foot forward, kids see that and can build resolve. Don’t stop doing; don’t stop being productive.”