‘Not only did we form a very unexpected relationship with our donor, but we’ve also formed relationships with many of the other moms who have used him.’

Patchogue

“Our experience using a known donor has been very positive because he’s an amazing person and he’s made the whole process very stressless. There did come a lot of unexpected things with having a known donor, and using the donor that we used specifically, because after us he started helping start families for a lot of other women, which ended up giving our son almost a hundred siblings all over the world — a large, extended family of brothers and sisters, some of which he has relationships with now, and some he’ll hopefully meet and have relationships with, if he chooses, as he gets older.

“At first, we didn’t know if we were going to use a known donor. We didn’t know that was an option. And through researching it, we found a known donor is a possible option when trying to conceive a child the way that we were doing it. And we still weren’t sure, even knowing that, that we wanted to have a person involved in the life of our child. We didn’t know legally how it would work. But once we found our donor, that’s what really changed our mind.

…using a known donor, especially the one we chose who doesn’t charge money and does it out of the goodness of their heart, ends up being extremely less stressful and you can just focus on starting a family.

“Starting a family as a same-sex couple, or a couple who is straight and faces fertility problems, is a very costly expense, especially in the United States, where it’s often not covered by many insurances and you have to pay out of pocket for most of the expenses needed to attempt to conceive a child. So, we found for us, and for a lot of people we know, using a known donor, especially the one we chose who doesn’t charge money and does it out of the goodness of their heart, ends up being extremely less stressful and you can just focus on starting a family.

“I think one of the most interesting parts of this whole thing is that not only did we form a very unexpected relationship with our donor, but we’ve also formed relationships with many of the other moms who have used him, moms from all walks of life. There began to become so many, that we all formed a social media group where we’re able to add new moms as we find them. And we don’t know what’s going to come of it…maybe even start expanding to real-life meetings and family events. It’s really endless possibilities, and we’re very excited about the future.”